My ex has really affected me.

We were together nearly 2 years. It used to be so perfect but he dumped me over fone in January. I guess because we were having problems anyway and he didn't want to come all the way back from uni just to dump me. He didn't plan it, we just got in an argument and he said I was dumped.

It was no contact for a month or 2. then I had to see him to get my stuff back. I made the mistake of sleeping with him. Even though he had changed a lot - his clothes, his music taste, now into some drugs occasionally, I still wanted to be with him. He told me afterwards it was just because I was hot and it was a bit of fun. And that it didn't mean we were getting bk together because we would eventually fall into old tracks. He said he had feelings for me though.

Anyway later on we started talking about my family life because I was very upset that day about them and he insulted them. He insulted me and my family, he told me I'm just going to get dumped in future relationships or cheated on (I think it was because I wasn't ready to have an orgasm) and he said how the last 2 years were a waste of time because now my memories of him are tainted. He told me I appeared dull and boring and belittled me about why I don't socialise much. He was very insensitive. Like when he dumped me and I wanted tro go and c him in person and talk to him about it he just said stuff like 'were over deal with, don't come round'. He accused me of controlling him because I didn't want him doing ecstacy.
I now feel very upset still. I feel alone and I'm afraid to let anyone else in. I feel even more insecure than ever. I've been cheated on in the past and I'm so hurt he said what he did. I feel confused and manipulated. I don't no what to think. Stuff he said has really bothered me and its not just a matter of moving on from the relatonship. :-(

First... im sorry.. he basiclly used you to get u... he says that as a back up and just in case it doesn't work out wit other people... just pace yourself and your age... have fun and don't worry ull find someone... n sorry but it wasn't smart to have sex with him.. that all that guys want... I noe but I respect woman,girls etc that's y I'm giving advice.. :) gudd luck wit your daatin life and rememberr pace yourself..

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Originally Posted by help_ful101

first...im sorry.. he basiclly used u to get u...he says that as a back up n just in case it doesnt work out wit other ppl...just pace ur self n ur age... hav fun n dont worry ull find someone... n sorry but it wasnt smart to have sex with him..that all that guys want...i noe but i respect woman,girls etc thats y im givin advice..:) gudd luck wit ur daatin life n rememberr pace ur self..

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And that's what I hate. A lot of people have said that. But even though it probably is true, I'm finding it hard to believe it because he always used to be so affectionate. I mean I was with him for 2 years, he was like my best friend as well.
I no it was stupid of me to sleep with him but I thought he still had feelings for me like I did for him. Even if it didn't mean we got bk together 'knowing' he had feelings for me felt enough.. I wa really stupid that day though. Completely lost respect for myself. I'm so annoyed at myself.
I really loved him. I would have done many things for him. I trusted him (when he said he loved me anyway and he wanted to be with me forever and stuff when we were a couple) he said many things and now its like it was all nothing. He blames me for everything and won't apoligise. I don't think he even knows that he has done was wrong. Or mayb he knows he just doesn't care which is even worse.. :-(

I am sorry that you are going through this but you will be glad this happened soon enough. Understand that the man who is saying these hurtful things to you now is a different person. Although this may hurt you it just may be a blessing in disguise. Think about it. He rather do drugs, than to be with someone who wants to look out for his best interest and now he is blaming you. Obviously he has no control! He can't even say no to drugs, he can't even man up and take responsibility for his action. Okay you slept with him you made a mistake its fine but don't let it happen again. Don't start believing that you won't find a good man because he said so. Your life is not in his hands, and unfortanetly some men are not jerks like him. He is venting, it seems he is angry with something and it could have nothing to do with you, but he needs to bring someone down with him. Don't allow him too drag you to the bottom of the pit. Stay away from him and let him think about his decision to not be with you. Also if he doesn't care or love you there is nothing you can do about it unfortanately even though I doubt this is the case. But by the way he is talking to you do you really want to be with someone like that? Bottom line honey is disconnect yourself from him, it may hurt now but it will get better. Take this time to focus on yourself. Keep telling yourself I deserve the best and I won't settle for anything else! Take this time, pamper yourself, get involved into postitive things surround yourself around positive people, and let the ex go..

I think if you leave him alone, and let the emotional dust settle, and get over the shock of being dumped, you will celebrate your freedom, to find someone much better for yourself. Being with a guy like that can't be fun.

That really sucks hun. Don't forget he is on drugs and I have had a lot of experience with people and on different kind of drugs and their heads just aren't right at all. They mean one thing and do another and yes they say hurtful things to the people they love. You are better off I know its very very hard you will get through it k! (HUGS)

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Originally Posted by tucker1605

that really sucks hun. Don't forget he is on drugs and I have had alot of experience with people and on different kind of drugs and their heads just arent right at all. They mean one thing and do another and yes they say hurtful things to the people they love. You are better off i know its very very hard you will get through it k! (HUGS)

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Well drugs r only sometimes though. Its only been a few times this year he's ever done it I think

U noe what dump his u don't need that drugs, go find a man that won't take advantage of u..!