We're getting married June 7th and need a final head count for the caterers. Many people haven't sent back their RSVP's. We've called to remind them but still haven't received them. We're afraid that people will show up anyway. It's also a monetary concern. If we go over 75 people, it will cost us $1000 more. What's the proper etiquette? HELP.

Approved post and moved from forum help to etiquette.

Call them and be frank and blunt, sorry if it is that important, let them know that you have to know to plan. I have noticed this lately, the last three times we sent out RSVP, over 1/2 did not and about 1/2 of those showed up at events.
It was funny, I talked to many younger people they did not even know what the RSVP means.

We're putting a few extra plates (only 5 more) in case if some people don't RSVP or bring an extra guest

Chuck is right, you have to be blunt about it. Since a wedding is an event where headcount affects price, it's important you know how many people are coming. As rude as it ay seem, you need to call these people and ask them directly if they will be attending. And to comfort you if you think that's just too rude it's more polite than turning them away at the reception! If you don't want to call them, have a close relative do it - that way you are a bit removed from the situation.

Your only other option is to include them as coming and fork out the extra money. But then if they don't show up... you're out an extra $1000. Not too good for you!

I'm helping my younger sister with this problem. My suggestion is to send out a sweet, straight forward blundt note saying something to the extent of: The RSVP deadline was 8-10-2011. We did not receive your reply in a timely manner or at all. There was a head count deadline to the caterers. There will be appetizers available for your enjoyment. Thank You.


What do you think? Is it confusing, do you understand what I'm saying? I just would really like to put: Since you didn't reply, you don't get the real food, lol.