I think this is finally over and I cant take it
I really need some good advice as I am really struggling to cope with this break up.I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and been through our fair share of ups and downs. In those five years we have broken up and then got back together as we would usually realise after a few weeks that we can't be without each other. This break up however seems so real and is painfully tearing me inside.
Last Sunday at 11pm me and my boyfriend (can't bring myself to say ex yet) got into a silly fight over him ruining my clothes in the washing machine. It escalated into a physical fight where he hit me first then I started hitting him back. I was so angry with him I told him to leave the house but he kept refusing saying 'Make me'. I eventually called up my friend in front of him and told her I wanted to call the police to get him out of my house. She then called the police herself as in the past he had lost his temper and sometimes hit me (and I had told her this numerous times) but then apologised but only because I started the fights and would push him to see how far I could make him snap. She had always told me that if I ever called her upset saying he had hit me then she would call the police. So when she told me the police were on their way I told him to leave the house as I didn't want him to get into trouble but he still kept refusing saying 'They'll take one look at you and think YOU'RE crazy'. Well the Police arrived and questioned both him and me where I told him we had both hit each other and I just wanted him to go home. When they heard he had hit me they arrested him and took him to the station where he was released 14 hours later without any charges as I had refused to charge him as we both were to blame and the fight had just got out of hand. He refused to speak to me after that and today (wed) as I was walking to the bus stop I saw him there so went up to him to talk to him that I had no say in him being taken away but he stood there silent. I asked him what was going to happen now between us but still no answer and in the end he took out his mobile and dialled for the police. He told them I was harassing him and wanted to put it on record. He then started walking to a nearby police station where I followed utterly in shock that he was doing this to me and we both gave our sides of the story of what happened on Sunday night, with him accusing me of having him arrested for common assault and me explaining that I hadn't called the police and I had told them to place no charges but to tell him to go home. The police officer eventually spoke to him where my boyfriend told him that I was not to contact, text or call him and that the relationship was definitely over.
I am still in shock and numb by this. We have been together for 5 years and I can't understand how he feels that I would say or do anything to make the police take him away. The polcie officer even told me that the reason he was being taken away was to diffuse the tense situation and calm each one of us down. I am so upset and haven't eaten since Monday. I keep hoping that he is still raw and angry about Mon which is why he went through extremties to say I was harassing him (even the officer understood I was trying to talk to him not harass him) but I feel like this is finally a real break up and I need to start preparing myself to grieve. Please can someone explain to me why he would feel so angry towards me and whether he needs some time to calm down. Thank you.
