I was with someone for 11 years and I recently posted about 3 weeks ago. The problem is I am going to get my things in the next few days and I would like someone to help me understand how the person I loved for all this time can be so callous and cold. He has said things like "You just don't do it for me anymore." "I am so much happier and at peace and I laugh all the time." "I am drinking less than I did with you." He said on the phone that he missed me and I asked him what that meant. He replied " I miss you in the sense that I miss talking to you, I don't miss you sexually." I said, "so you don't miss having sex with me and he said, "not really." Why do men feel they have to cut to the core and kick someone when they are already down. We didn't even fight over anything significant. He broke up with me because he said I was always negative and always "doom and gloom". Now he is with a 20 year old and he is 37. How did he do a complete 180 on me and he still wants me to be his friend "if I can handle it". What should I do? Please help.

Don't be his friend!! He's a total jerk. Go to no contact and don't ever talk to him again.. You need to heal and move on.. I'm so sorry for your loss, what a total jerk that you gave your heart to, go out there and live your life and discover what makes you happy, that can help heal your heart and who knows maybe someday you'll find the right guy for you when you least expect it.

Put him out of your life. If your really need your stuff back arrange to get it through a third party, or when he isn't around. He isn't worth your time or your suffering and you deserve much better.

Sounds like he found a fling and will realize what he lost sooner or later, but by then your going to be long gone... right? That's the plan, move on, be single, be happy and confident and find someone who respects you and wants to be with you

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Originally Posted by cheryl200

Why do men feel they have to cut to the core and kick someone when they are already down.

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... and watch the stereotype :p

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What should I do? Please help.

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Get your belongings and disappear from his life. Why is he acting this way?
1- He is an uncaring jerk!
2-He is making it easy for you to move on.
The answer is the same no matter his motives, Disappear!

He wants you to dislike him so you'll stop pining over him. I think that's a great solution here. Dislike him (don't hate him, that's way too much energy) and get on with life.