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-   -   SO Confused. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=218003)

  • May 20, 2008, 02:02 PM
    Animal0126
    SO Confused.
    What should I do when he says that he feels like he has to lie to me to go out and have fun with his friends? Then he says that I need to back off and realize that he wants to spend time with his friends and me, but he says that I don't like him spending time with his friends (which I never said). I don't understand what he wants from me or out of our relationship anymore? He acts like he doesn't want to spend time with me anymore and that I don't make him happy. But then he swears that I light up his life. I am so confused!! What should I do?
  • May 20, 2008, 06:06 PM
    duck22
    Some guys like to separate time spent with friends and time spent with their girlfriends. On the contrary there are guys that always have their girls with them when they are out with their friends.

    In your case I get the impression that your boyfriend may want to spend time with his friends but gets a lot of pressure from you. His behavior makes me think that you may be clingy or controlling. Forgive me if I am wrong, but that was my first impression after reading your post.

    If that's the case, just take note in how you act and how he responds. If he wants to go over his buddies let him do it guilt free. If he doesn't have a guilty conscious about it, he will tell you everything he is doing.
  • May 20, 2008, 06:33 PM
    nickshehe
    Lots of couples experience this, and I think its good that he was honest with you.. I have a couple of my own friends who are in long relationships and they are always complaining about their girlfriends giving them a hard time when it comes to hanging out with "the guys"..
    Like duck said he probably feels that you're pressuring him or that it bothers you.. It's nothing to worry about - it doesn't mean he stopped caring or he cares less - you should both have free time to spend with your own friends.. If you make an issue out of this it can only get worse.. Tell him you understand that he wants to have time with his friends and that it could be good for the both of you.. make sure you make it clear that he doesn't need to lie and that it doesn't bother you - after all , it shouldn't.
    It's only healthy for you both yo have alone/friend time , from each other.
  • May 20, 2008, 06:41 PM
    talaniman
    Be honest, are you insecure, or does he need to be with you all the time?

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