Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   Want ex back just confused about how to go about it. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=217585)

  • May 19, 2008, 01:25 PM
    musicforlife
    Want ex back just confused about how to go about it.
    First off my ex and I met back in November 2007. Was at home one night and a friend of mine called me up and hooked me up with her number. Said she needed someone to talk to. I was scared. I had liked her since high school and to now have this happen was the coolest slash wierdest thing to ever happen. Well spent about an hour trying to think of something to talk about. Wound up "ad lib"ing the conversation. Called her up and got a pen and paper and started taking notes as we went along the conversation so I'd remember some of the things we talked about. The conversation went on for about an hour and a half and we agreed to meet up at her place the following week. Well the day came. Went over after work and we wound up talking in her room. I could tell she was in to me. All of the signs were there. Well a couple days later we went to a comedy show together. Al Lubell. Not a show I wanted to remember. Both of us had never heard of him before. Long story short he wound up in his underwear singing at the end of the show. I was thoroughly embarassed; not sure how she was. I spent the whole night apologizing about it. She was cool about it though. Then we started getting more and more serious. Started staying at her place later and later. Well Chrismas eve I was at her house and we went and saw a movie. "The Game Plan." Then after that we went back to her place. I was there with her until about 1-2am. Then she asked me "What are we". Well I avoided the question because from past experience if I said something; what ever was there was instantly ruined with other women. She just texted me christmas day and said " Are you my boyfriend; because I'd love to be your girlfriend". Well I looked tiredly at my phone. Couldn't believe it. Put it down and went back to sleep. Woke back up a few minutes later and looked at it again. Still saw the same thing. So I texted her back and said "You'll just have to wait until tonight to find out. Well long story short. We became bf gf. She is the smartest and most beautiful woman I've ever met. For our one month; I sent flowers to her at work. Everyone there was jealous of her for the rest of the day. Every time we hung out we'd talk for hours about everything and anything. We shared our first kiss on newyears. I was sick but hey; it was still good. From what she said. I agree.

    Well she texted me februrary 16th and said " I need to talk to you." So we met up at panera on the 17th and she broke up with me. Well that was the worst feeling I've ever felt; I thought I was doing everything right. The only problem I thought was her still talking about her previous ex of 3 years.

    I still love the hell out of her. Loved her from the moment I laid eyes on her. Well under the guidance of a friend of mine I sent her an email telling all one day and she emailed me back. It wasn't good. Well now it's been a couple of months and I still can't get over her. I've tried to stop thinking of her yet I can't. Now I want her back more than ever. Just not sure what to do. How to go about doing it. Can someone help me out?
  • May 19, 2008, 01:58 PM
    Chery
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ed-123862.html

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/list-things-do-after-breakup-78597.html


    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ck-187766.html

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...id-214452.html

    Check out these links to get a feel of what those who have gone through similar issues have made an effort to tell those of you who are new and starting their first stages of 'rejection'.

    You've know her for a long time and started right by listening and sending gifts, but something blocked you from being spontaneous and telling her how you really feel and were too slow through your caution from previous experience.

    This could also mean that you were not ready yet and needed some 'rebound' work before looking to hook up again.

    You are not alone, so stay with us and we will help you through it. But see if you identify with the other posts and figure out what stage you are in - it will help your healing process tremendously.

    Good luck.

    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gifWe've all been there, done that - sometimes more than once.
  • May 19, 2008, 02:41 PM
    bigbird213
    First of all, you said you loved her from the moment you laid eyes on her. I'm not sure if that's possible as love is much deeper than physical attraction and it takes many many months (for me anyway) to even consider saying I love someone.

    Now because your relationship was so short, and she was still talking about her ex of three years, I am inclined to think that you might have been used as a rebound. I know that's tough to hear, but regardless of the reason for the breakup, there is only one thing you can do now. You need to move on and try to be happy being single.

    Like Chery said, there are plenty of people here that can help you and give you some insight as many of us have been through the same, or similar, times.
  • May 19, 2008, 09:41 PM
    gg23
    Sorry buddy! I would have to agree with what they said. Unfortunately you were being used as a rebound. I know harsh huh? But human being we that selfish, it just human nature. What you need to do is to let her go. I think maybe you want simply because you can't have her. So you put her on the pedestal as if she was a goddess of some kind. Just take it one day at the time and move on. I would recommend just going no contact until you are healed. Sorry for your loss all the best.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:08 AM.