Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   Screwed up situation with an EX (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=216980)

  • May 17, 2008, 05:12 PM
    Colossal
    Screwed up situation with an EX
    Ok so long story short, me and my girlfriend broke up

    This was 2 months ago

    She was in college

    Now she's back home, and she hangs out with my friends. Thing is though I don't want to see her

    She called me the other day and it was painful talking to her.

    I tried for the 3rd time to get back together and she doesent want that

    So now Im screwed. Im not going to be able to see my friends all summer for fear of her

    Please help me, I really don't want to see her again, I still have strong feelings for her, and she doesent want me back. And she's with my friends, this whole thing sucks and I'm going crazy
  • May 17, 2008, 09:59 PM
    starbuck8
    Have you talked to your friends about this? If they are your true friends, then they will make time for you when she is not around, and uninvited. If they don't respect your feelings, they are not your friends.

    In the meantime, I would use the summer to go out and meet other girls, and another group of friends. Change the scenery a bit, and get involved in other things!

    The best way to show her what she may have missed out on, is for you to be having a great time! Having fun and hanging out with other people, and enjoying yourself is your best bet!. even if she is around, and you have to fake it for awhile! She will wonder why you are so happy without her, and she will feel some of the rejection you have felt.

    Being happy and confident with yourself is the best way to go! You will meet someone better for you that way!
  • May 17, 2008, 10:06 PM
    bigbird213
    I agree with starbuck. Going out and changing your everyday routines (friends, activities, etc) can be a great way to start getting over the relationship. You say that you can't see her because she will be with your friends... Did you come from the same group of friends? Did you introduce her to them or did she introduce you to them?

    This is why it is important to ensure that you have a separate life from your significant other. Should things sour, it gets very hard to live a normal life without being constantly reminded of your ex if you don't have your own life...
  • May 18, 2008, 02:17 AM
    Chery
    Starbuck and Bigbird give some great advice here. Just going to add a few things...



    In my opinion, you are being foolish and still letting her control your life.

    So you tried three times and lost - so what - you are not the only one. Just read the stickies at the beginning of the Relationship Section and some other 'bleeding heart' posts. I know it hurts, but I promise it will get better.

    You are running away as if you are giving up and erasing yourself out of the picture. Stop this. If your friends are important to you go and be with them - learn to accept the fact that she will not vanish unless she gets hit by a truck tomorrow - and live with it.

    If it's too soon for you to face her, then take the time to heal and regain your self-respect. After that, it should not matter to you if she's around or not. Go out elswhere until then and get to know some new people with common interests.

    Honest, there is life after a breakup.. just as a scratch or a burn heal in time. Sometimes two months is not enough time - not even to get over feeling sorry for yourself, and there are many more steps in the healing process.

    Once you've regained your confidence, you'll be able to be with your old friends and not give a darn about her, that's a fact. Another fact is that this takes time and effort on your part to heal - so get to work.

    We'll help you through it, so get up already and do something nice for yourself; a movie, good book, good tunes, and lots of comedy for starters.

    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gifBeen there, done that - and promise that you too will survive!
  • May 18, 2008, 03:45 AM
    talaniman
    What kind of man are you to let a female control your life? Maybe you haven't gotten over her, and it may well hurt to see her. So what, do you have to cry in front of everyone? Do they have to know your heart is broken? Does she have to know? Life is full of things we don't want to do, man up and do it anyway. Keep the feelings to yourself, and act like you love yourself, enough to stay of that pity pot. The only other choice is ditch your friends for the rest of the summer and go else where.
  • May 18, 2008, 03:53 AM
    Chery
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by talaniman
    What kind of man are you to let a female control your life? Maybe you haven't gotten over her, and it may well hurt to see her. So what, do you have to cry in front of everyone? Do they have to know your heart is broken? Does she have to know? Life is full of things we don't want to do, man up and do it anyway. Keep the feelings to yourself, and act like you love yourself, enough to stay of that pity pot. The only other choice is ditch your friends for the rest of the summer and go else where.

    Tal, I had to spread it again, but just love it    !

    Great advice from 'Man' to 'man' to put it bluntly.

    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_11.gif

    • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:32 PM.