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-   -   Fearful of unknown of death (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=216697)

  • May 16, 2008, 04:35 PM
    hermione
    Fearful of unknown of death
    Recently, I have quit my job because it was causing so much stress in my life. My husband kept telling me that all of that stress was going to kill me. I finally wised up and left. Now my focus and energy is in taking care of him and our home. He is very busy working, he is in a band, and it seems at times that he is burning the candle at both ends. The reason I am fearful is because before he started this new job, he had life insurance and I never thought about something so horrible before. Now, it seems like I dwell on the possibility of him dying and what would I do without him? How would I manage? What about bills? A part if my brain thinks that I am transferring the lack of stress and worry about my job into this. Am I being unreasonable?

    His grandfather died on Valentine's Day, and recently a friend of ours died unexpectedly. Could all of this have affected me also? Why am I suddenly afraid of the unknown of death??

    Please help:confused:
  • May 16, 2008, 05:26 PM
    DoulaLC
    If he no longer has life insurance, look into getting some. Shop around, you can find very good rates for both of you. This is so important, and will give you some peace of mind over the financial "what ifs".
    It wouldn't be surprising if the recent deaths have caused you to give some more thought to your own mortality and that of your husband. It often isn't given much thought until we have it happen to someone close to us... especially when it is someone relatively close to our own age as it often seems like something far off in the future.
    Coming to terms with what you believe happens after death can also give you some comfort and/or direction in how you choose to live your life... whether it may be the finality of life or life continuing afterwards.
    Maybe getting the insurance in order, forming a game plan that you would likely follow, and the possibility of a part-time job (another way to feel more comfortable regarding bills and such) that has little stress involved will all combine to help you.
  • May 16, 2008, 05:38 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Yes just buy some, assuming he is in good health it is not expensive, I sold some yesterday, he was 31 and it was 500,000 dollars of benefit and it only cost 60 dollars per month. ( term insurance)
    So it is easy, call your insurance agent and price some between different companies.

    But a person whle they should consider the future can't be scared of it either, it appears you have "worry" problems that was effecting your job, with the stress. So perhaps counseling may not be a bad thing, depending on what your job was. And if you want to be at home that is great, but if you want a carrer or go back to school, you should also do what is best for you also.

    What type of job was too much stress for you ?
  • May 17, 2008, 08:07 AM
    hermione
    My job wasn't the cause, my boss was very bi-polar and she would critique everything. If she asked you to do something and you did the way she asked to the letter, she would turn around and ask why you did it that way, why didn't you do it another way and why did you not think to ask to do it another way. Not to mention that the company was into some things that were not very "honorable" and since I worked in the financial department, when things got hot under their collar because of their practices, it became the blame game. It was causing me to worry about the work that I did because on several occasions, I did my job and did it well, but I would be under the gun because something would have to be hidden and I would have to re-do a huge project to "omit" things.

    With my mom having cancer, it is easier for me to travel to visit her now and my husband is happy now that he does not have to worry about the house, dinner, laundry... etc. He was carrying the bulk of the work since my job kept me occupied all the time.

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