Just looking for opiniions here..
What makes a person seem needy in a relationship? Is it the need for time, telephone calls, etc.. I know people have different takes, but I just wouild like to hear some of them... thanks!

They are lacking something, obviously.

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Originally Posted by Kia

just looking for opiniions here..
What makes a person seem needy in a relationship? Is it the need for time, telephone calls, etc..? I know people have different takes, but I just wouild like to hear some of them...thanks!

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I actually meant to use the word clingy..

I stand by my answer.

Kia,

I think that what you are asking is a difficult question for most people to answer.

Relationships that involve one or both people that are "needy" or "clingy" are not good ones to be in. It is often referred to as co-dependence. Usually, it is a result of a lack of self-confidence in one's self and the need to be the most important thing in the others life.

What happens is that one person usually becomes less involved in their own life and more concerned about the other person. The problem with this is that you begin to lose your own identity and start to assume the identity of the relationship. The assumption in those type of relationships is that the person is nothing without that relationship. This is a big problem if it gets out of hand because relationships like that typically end, and it really doesn't go well for the breakee. The breakee is left alone, lost, and broken-hearted. These are all terrible feelings to experience.

If you are the one being told that you are needy, you have to stop. The best thing that you can do is take a step back and begin learning about yourself again. You have to be independent and confident. You also have to have interests and activities that you do outside of the relationship. That way you are bringing your side to the relationship and meeting the other person halfway. You must always remember that you are part of a relationship, and it should never be the relationship that defines you.

If you spend a lot of your time requiring your mate to list his whereabouts, explain his actions, defend his beliefs, or assuade your fears... you are a clingy, needy girlfriend. And you're making him miserable.

If you spend your time sharing your life calmly and with little "questioning", then you are an independent, confident individual who is attractive to others and who your boyfriend is proud to stand next to.

You can figure out which you are with almost no help from anyone else... if you're an honest person.

Try and keep the relationship at a 50-50 level, by that I mean each partner is giving an equal amount. When one starts to overtake the other, that's when you can get a bit clingy and needy, as you'll come across as too keen to be around them all the time.

You need your own life as well as being within a relationship.