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-   -   Why won't my fiancŽe sleep with me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=215745)

  • May 13, 2008, 10:50 PM
    bored666
    Why won't my fiancée sleep with me?
    So I have been with this man for nearly 3years and about a year and half in the middle of that was long distance where we saw each other once a month. I moved states to be with him cause we were crazy in love and want to marry and be with each forever. Our sex life was mind blowing and he couldn't keep his hands off me. After just 4months of me moving back and living together I feel rejected and emotionally abused.
    I have to beg for sex and lucky if I get it once a week compared to everyday numerous times, he tells me to F%k off all the time, never kisses me, gets angry and annoyed all the time. Then he says how much he loves me, I'm his world and he couldn't imagine life without me, when I try to tell him how I feel he gets so angry he screams at me and throws things and won't speak or look at me for days.
    And what is the go with getting me excited sometimes and being all randy and sweet than just masturbating in the shower and going to bed, then he pushes me away when I attempt to give him a hug or kiss good night, And! He sleeps on the couch more than he sleeps in bed with me, he says he just likes the couch and hates sleeping in a bed but it cuts me so much cause we went so long not being able to sleep together and now we can its like he doesn't even care.
    Im confused as I love him so much and want to spend my life with him yet he is treating me like a piece of crap at the moment, what can I do so he doesn't take me for granted :(
  • May 13, 2008, 11:12 PM
    tawnynkids
    I really hate to say this but it sounds like he is cheating on you. There are red flags every where. It sounds like he is acting guilty. There is nothing you can do per se to "make" him do anything. You can only tell him how you feel and the ways in which you will not accept being treated. But make sure you are really going to stick with it. Have some respect for yourself and do not allow yourself to be treated so poorly by someone who is supposed to love you. Remember love is not just a feeling it is action and his actions are not loving by any stretch of the imagination. If he will not hear what you have to say then I am sorry but I say you need to cut your losses and move on to someone who will not only say he loves you but show it as well.
  • May 13, 2008, 11:17 PM
    Xrayman
    Sounds a bit bi-polar to me.
  • May 14, 2008, 10:40 AM
    Choux
    From your description, it sounds like he feels like you are pestering him.

    It is not unusual three years into a relationship that folks have sex once a week. The initial period of novelty and hot feelings are over by then... the mundane sets in.

    I would say check your life... do you have plenty of activities and a job to keep you interested in your life... interesting to other people? Do you rely on him to make your life for you??

    If you find you are too passive, you may want to add more activities to your life.
  • May 14, 2008, 11:24 AM
    plonak
    His behavior doesn't seem normal, and like Xrayman said he could be bi-polar. I say take him to a psychiatrist and see if there are any problems medically..

    If there isn't anything wrong medically, then I say this guy is a jerk.. he does not seem like someone you would want to marry, my goodness he's already throwing things and telling you to F*** off, what would he do when you're married? Seems like he could become pysically abusive too, DO NOT get married until you resolve these problems, or you will be utterly MISERABLE!!

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