Hi all-

So I have a friend, maybe even a boyfriend, who I have been going on dates with for a month (just little weekend things for fun). I am about to graduate high school and I am not looking for anything too serious, and I thought he understood that BUT I guess I was kind of wrong. I got a Facebook message (yes, Facebook, personally not a place where I think declarations of love should be posted) about how awesome I am, how every time we hang out all he can think about it hanging out again, how I've been a longterm secret crush, how he hasn't been this happy in a long time... hmm, I was really turned off by all that. Really. The whole thing was kind of childish and uncomfortable because while I do like this guy, I am not gushingly into him. I now feel like what was once a good thing, a fun thing, is now me leading him on. Advice? He really is nice and I don't want to hurt his feelings, or ego BUT this incident was random and kind of embarrassing. I haven't message him back and haven't mentioned the message in conversation (I am pretending I haven't checked Facebook for now).

Up front and honest is the way to go. He may be hurt which ever way you go.

Yes tell him the truth but be kind about it. And you might find out later in time when you are ready he is maybe a really good guy for you

Yes, first if he is about to graduate, he needs to learn to grow up.
Let him know that posting this on face book is childish and it did not do anything to impress you. And above all, there needs to be honest communication

Most people don't get the concept of DATING, and from what you're saying you're just looking for a good time. On the other hand this guy thinks you and him go on dates because you and him are officially dating. Keep it real with him, and maybe he'll be hurt but it has to be known that you want your space. Don't avoid what he said because that can be the worse thing to do... remember he's a guy and he's trying to show you his true feelings. You might not think what he did was romantic, but stand in his shoes for a second... this guy told you how he felt (most guys don't), and then he did it for everyone to see.

Quote:

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The whole thing was kind of childish and uncomfortable because while I do like this guy, I am not gushingly into him. I now feel like what was once a good thing, a fun thing, is now me leading him on...

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Once again, the answer is in the original post.

"Johnny, while I do like you, I definitely don't like you that way. And what you did on Facebook was not only childish, it was embarassing. Our friendship is a good thing, but I'm not leading you on, ok? Please take it down off Facebook, and next time you have something to say to a girl, say it in person, don't embarass her. She'll appreciate it much more."