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-   -   Friends don't get it. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=215131)

  • May 12, 2008, 09:50 AM
    ZigZag07
    Friends don't get it.
    How can I explain to my friend that dating a 17 year old sophomore, who just got out of jail, and has cheated on her multiple times... (she also has only met him 3 times... he lives 30 min away) that he's not a good person to be with? He treats her like crap... then she gets upset and he's all "i love you i love you..im sorry" on her?
    She thinks I just don't understand that he really is sorry... and I don't know what its like cause my boyfriend lives just across town.. and can drive to see me..?

    ? :confused:
  • May 12, 2008, 11:05 AM
    booboobear
    Hmmm sounds kind of like my friend. Well does she have a problem meeting guys... / is this the first person who's actually noticed her because if so then she might be lost in the feeling of being wanted. Although he may treat her like crap that might be the issue... but ill need more info lol
  • May 12, 2008, 01:20 PM
    talaniman
    Sometimes our friends don't listen, and have to be smacked by reality. Be a friend, and keep a band-aid, or a crying towel handy.
  • May 12, 2008, 01:48 PM
    Rockstar714
    Ask her how many times he's said sorry for his behaviour... if its more than once and he continues to do it, she has a seroius problem.

    If it is more than once (and it sounds like it is) explain to her using an illustration. Say "you've seen him 3 times, he says he loves you and he keeps hurting you and saying sorry, and you keep taking him back. What if a friend kept hurting you, would you keep them as a friend? This guy is bad news and I don't want to see you hurt. You need to get rid of him regardless of what he says, he's not worth it."

    She'll get over it, you sound really young. :) There will be lots of guys coming and going.
  • May 13, 2008, 12:08 PM
    ZigZag07
    You... ive tried so hard to explain it to her.. but she claims its love so she won't listen.
  • May 13, 2008, 12:14 PM
    Rockstar714
    Then let her tumble and fall if she won't listen. She'll learn. We all have to.
  • May 13, 2008, 12:23 PM
    ZigZag07
    But what kind of friend would that make me?
  • May 13, 2008, 12:38 PM
    JROTC Tubolino
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ZigZag07
    how can i explain to my friend that dating a 17 year old sophmore, who just got out of jail, and has cheated on her multiple times....... (she also has only met him 3 times....he lives 30 min away) that hes not a good person to be with? he treats her like crap...then she gets upset and hes all "i love you i love you..im sorry" on her?!
    she thinks i just dont understand that he really is sorry...and i dont know what its like cause my boyfriend lives just across town..and can drive to see me..?!

    ?!:confused:
    Don't tell her this persay but "OPen up your eye before you get hurt" I want to be a cop and people like that is why.
  • May 13, 2008, 12:52 PM
    waterland
    Omg... let her read what you just wrote and then let her read the answers... if she still doesn't get it them you might just have to leave it... people learn the hard way... that's just the way they are...
  • May 13, 2008, 12:57 PM
    JROTC Tubolino
    You but I guess help is help huh
  • May 13, 2008, 01:29 PM
    Rockstar714
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ZigZag07
    but what kind of friend would that make me?
    Aren't you trying to help her? That makes you an awesome friend. Sometimes it hurts to see our friends get hurt, but when they don't listen and just do what they want anyway, they have to learn the hard way. It's the only way your friend will learn since she's not listening. You're a good friend for wanting to help, and it sounds like you've done all you can't. I'm not saying to stop being friends with her, but try talking to her one more time and then just let it go.
  • May 16, 2008, 10:19 AM
    ZigZag07
    That's true...
    I just wish there was something I cood do.
    Now she's thinking about breaking up with him... which is awsome
    BUTT she likes this other guy./... whose even worse.
  • May 16, 2008, 05:55 PM
    CFZD
    Tell her parents too!
  • May 19, 2008, 09:52 AM
    ZigZag07
    Won't telling her parents make it worse? I think they even know, and don't care very much. Its kind of a disfunctional family to say the leaste :(
  • May 19, 2008, 10:02 AM
    CFZD
    How about her teachers? Which grade is she at?
  • May 19, 2008, 10:16 AM
    ZigZag07
    We are freshman...
    Teachers here don't give a rip...
    And they wouldn't understand...
  • May 19, 2008, 10:27 AM
    talaniman
    Tell no one, just keep the band-aids and crying towel handy, she may need both.
  • May 20, 2008, 09:48 AM
    ZigZag07
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by talaniman
    Tell no one, just keep the band-aids and crying towel handy, she may need both.

    Thanks... thats what I plan on doing I guess...
  • May 20, 2008, 10:38 PM
    JBeaucaire
    Some people wield their "love" like a "get out of stupid free - card"... and it doesn't work that way. If your love is making you do STUPID, you ignore it.

    But that's if it's YOUR love. This isn't your love, it's hers. You can't talk to people fully entrenched in their "stupid love" that ignores the universe. She doesn't care.

    Only try to influence her when she asks. The rest of the time your just going to have to enjoy the horrible show.
  • May 21, 2008, 09:46 AM
    ZigZag07
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JBeaucaire
    Some people wield their "love" like a "get out of stupd free - card"...and it doesn't work that way. If your love is making you do STUPID, you ignore it.

    But that's if it's YOUR love. This isn't your love, it's hers. You can't talk to people fully entrenched in their "stupid love" that ignores the universe. She doesn't care.

    Only try to influence her when she asks. The rest of the time your just going to have to enjoy the horrible show.

    Ya... guess so. Its just hard... but I mean, guess she's got to learn on her own.. and ill be here if she needs me.
    Thanks a bunch JBeaucaire =]

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