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I really, really like this one person at my work, we've went out a few times and have gotten intimate. He seems to like me but how do I keep him interested? I hear men like a chase, is this so?
I feel like calling his extension everyday but I don't. He sure knows how to keep me hanging by a string and keep me waiting by the phone, I'd really like to have him on his toes too but how??
Don't put so much importance into this... you could set yourself up to get hurt.
I've posted this many times before but...
IF you act too anxious to make a relationship work, even if the other person initially seemed to be the one who wanted it, they will become turned off and start looking for the exits. Next time you decide you really want somebody, play your cards close to your chest. Don't let on how excited you've become. Slowly over many months of time you can eventually show more commitment on your part, but do so incrementally, remaining alert to equal signs of commitment back. If at any point your devotion is more than an equal share, back off and give the other person a chance to catch up before proceeding further.
It is their perception, rightly or wrongly, that someone nice must be desperately needy. The neediness or dependent characteristics exhibited by a person are actually what is repulsive.
Don't call him!! Don't do it. Make him chase you - you have all the cards IF you play it right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Okay thanks I will try my best not to call!! God it's so tempting though...
Totally Ignore Him,that Will Definitely Get His Attention... or At The Very Least,determine ifyou Have His Attention.good Luck.
First, welcome to the forum.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sade
If this person has any way of influencing your position at work, back off, because if it does come to a head-on, he will automatically assume you entrapped him into something and try to rationalize it all to his benefit.
If he is not influential at the workplace, stay reserved and wait until he contacts you. I'm still a believer in letting the man make the first move and suggest you think along the same lines. When he does call you, you can be truthful and let him know you enjoy being with him and like the sound of his voice on the phone, etc. But, as Wildcat said, don't be too anxious.
There is nothing wrong in wanting and needing someone - we all do, but just take it one day at a time and you might be pleasantly surprised at the results of taking it slow. Sex is not everything, and you should get to know each other better without too much of it at first.
Good Luck, and keep us posted.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gifP.S. If you get rejected, it's a lesson learned and you should go on in the self-development process.
Thanks guys. I will keep you posted...
Hi,
You already have him interested!
If something is to really develop into a relationship, it will happen for you both. Just don't be "overanxious", like calling him every day. Let things take it's natural course, and don't put all your "cookies in one jar"... meet others at the same time, and talk with other men. I do wish you the best.
Sometimes I worry that if I back off too much he will think I'm not interested anymore...
Hey, we did not say no communication at all.. it's your choice. You can give him a great smile and hello when meeting in the hallways or at the water cooler, etc. But even today, it's best for the men to make the move of asking you out again. You don't have to say no, but just don't be too anxious and jump in bed all the time, get to know each other elsewhere sharing other interests too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sade
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_9_11.gifAgain, good luck!
"Sometimes I worry that if I back off too much he will think I'm not interested anymore..."
Never... it's usually the opposite. This only happens is if they are involved with someone else. Which, if this guy is acting this way... could be a possibility. Are you sure he isn't in a relationship, married etc??
How well do you know him... PLUS, it sounds like you give up the goods too quickly - why the hell does he have to work for it??
You're right Wildcat, being intimate so soon did not make the matter better and can evolve into doubts on both sides.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
I know he's not married, but maybe he has a girlfriend on the side who knows... I guess I did give up the goods too soon. Is there any hope for me now??
Yes, pull back... lay low... make him come to you.
Give him a test... don't give it up next time you're with him... see what happens. He may jsust be in it for...
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