Hi, I am 38 and my husband and I have been married for almost 9 years. We have a lovely set of twin, now 4 and our son is autistic. We have not made love for at least three months after I was told by my husband that he no longer finds me attractive and has not initiated sex with me once since the twins were born. Every time I bring it up and get all emotional about this he says that I am backing him into a corner. He says he loves me but to me I don't feel loved or cherished. I don't know if I can live without intimacy from the man I love. Women are put together differently I want to express my love to him with intimacy. I might add that he has bipolar as well - don't know what to do.? :mad:

Carena, my first thought would be marriage counseling. And my second is to give him space. When you don't want to do something and someone asks you to, does it make you want to do it more? I think you two need to get serious soon with a little therapy. Good luck, I know this is hard but you really need to ask him if he would be willing to go... ;)

It is very possible that he has in his mind, sex leads to kids, and you have a autistic child. So is there still possible to be pregnant, is that an issue hiden he is not talking about, Is he taking the blame for a autistic child and having performace issues.
Is his bipolar doing something either with performance or with his mental state over the family.

Sounds like a poster child for family counseling.

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Originally Posted by Carena

Hi, I am 38 and my husband and I have been married for almost 9 years. We have a lovely set of twin, now 4 and our son is autistic. We have not made love for at least three months after I was told by my husband that he no longer finds me attractive and has not initiated sex with me once since the twins were born. Every time I bring it up and get all emotional about this he says that I am backing him into a corner. He says he loves me but to me I don't feel loved or cherished. I don't know if I can live without intimacy from the man I love. Women are put together differently I want to express my love to him with intimacy. I might add that he has bipolar as well - don't know what to do.????:mad:

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I agree that you both may need to go undergo marriage counseling. Also, you can ask him what part in you does he find unattractive. I feel sorry for you. Intimacy is a way to strengthen a couple's bond. God bless. Hope things will be all right in the end.