My girlfriend and I split up just over a month ago after 18 months to have some time apart etc. She said she did want to get back with me eventually. Its been a month and all she says is that she doesn't want a boyfriend at the moment however I still see her and she tells me that she loves me and that I'm the one. We're talking about our future and stuff as well. She says she still wants me back and then tells me she likes the single life and has already kissed a couple of other people and told me she "slightly likes" someone else. I feel I'm being messed around. It's horrible what I'm feeling. What should I do? HELP :(

She is wanting two things at once. You cannot let her string you along like that. She wants to keep you as her safety net while at the same time discover what is out there. If she can't find anything, it seems like she will come back to you.

My suggestion is that you have to put your foot down and ask her, "How can you want me but at the same time fool around?" Tell her you're not comfortable on a break because you don't like to be in limbo. It's either all or nothing. DO NOT LET HER STRING YOU ALONG, it will cause you a lot of pain in the end. Stand up for yourself

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Originally Posted by sal139

I feel i'm being messed around.

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... yep.

Drop.this.girl.now.

I can see this going only one way.

She'll eventually start dating another guy, and you'll be left in the dust. Man up, tell her exactly what you want, (in which case, I'm assuming is a relationship) and if she can't be in one with you, then tell her you're tired of waiting around and you're moving on. If she wants you back, she knows how to reach you. She's making you wait in the back while she's doing whatever she pleases.

Yeah I get what your both saying. I don't know man, a month is long enough to decide what you want isn't it?

I can't really put a time frame on a person to decide what they want. To be honest, when a girl says "I need time" it really doesn't mean that. Of course, there are exceptions, but 9 times out of 10, it just means "I need time...from you." The minute that happens, you should have given her just that, time. Instead, you were clinging onto her being that "boyfriend who really isn't the boyfriend."

At this point, she's been out with a few guys and likes another guy... which means that she's definitely not into you. Why would someone who "loves you and wants to be with you" go out with other guys? Does that make sense? If I tell everyone I want pasta at a restaurant, then get fish instead, that makes me pretty darn weird.

Bail out. Talk to her if you want, and tell her exactly what you want, and if she can't do that, then leave her life, and move on with yours.

But right now, reading your story, I'm pretty frustrated by the fact that she's out with other guys and have even told you that she likes another guy. If I were in your case, I'd just overall stop talking to her and started to ignore all her calls until she came back begging.. . but that's just me... and I'm an @sshole.

Na that makes sense man. I mean its not as if she's been out with a few guys, she got drunk and got with a couple and then the lad she kind of likes she kissed at her house. That's what fu***d me up. Yeah I don't know, I guess ima just be a bit distant for a few days and see how it goes and if nothing happens ima just tel her I'm not going to be here forever.

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She said she did want to get back with me eventually.

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And you fell for that. How can you let yourself be treated like that by anyone. Ain't that much love in the world!!!! In the name of dignity and self respect, disappear from her life. THATS WHAT SHE REALLY WANTS!!!

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if nothing happens ima just tel her I'm not going to be here forever.

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You should have been long gone in the first place. Sorry for being harsh, but you need to put your needs above hers.

This situation is way too familiar.
My ex boyfriend and I were dating for a long time, and when we went on a break he told me that he still wanted to be with me.
But after a few days he told me that he just wanted to be friends.
Then a week later he had another girlfriend.
It hurts.
But sometimes you justhave to let go and try to find something exciting and new.
I never thought that I would get over him,
But I finally am.
I'm sorry.

Just move on. Don't let her play her game.