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-   -   I just got an abortion and I have a heartless boyfriend.Any suggestions (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=214473)

  • May 10, 2008, 08:13 AM
    Queen0804
    I just got an abortion and I have a heartless boyfriend.Any suggestions
    :( I was dating this guy for a while... we've been intimate for a 1 year and I got pregnant... I never told him about it. I was scared to tell him because I felt like I couldn't trust him. I just got an abortion last week. I was talking to him on Tuesday and we got into a really big heated argument. Then it just came out and I told him that I had an abortion. I don't know why I did but I was too emotional and it just came out. Now that I told him he is acting up. He doesn't believe me. He told me that I was not strong enough to keep that kind of information from him. He said "I know u, you would call me the minute u find out u're pregnant". I feel so stupid and I regret telling his ignorant azz about it. He is now asking me for proof about the abortion.. he said show me some kind of proof because a part of me don't believe u. I don't want to prove myself and I feel that I don't need to explain anything to anyone. He claims to love me so why can he trust me? I think the main reason why he is doing this is because I asked him for money... The money I used for the abortion was for my summer tuition and now I need help to pay my school back so I could take classes. I asked him and he was okay with it yesterday and this morning changes his mind completely and asks for the proof. I destroyed all the paper work from the clinic so no one would see and he's still insisting on going to the clinic with me on Monday so I can show him some kind of proof. I don't want to prove anything because I've been through enough already. NOw that I thought about it, I don't need his money I just want him to leave me alone... Please help meeeee
  • May 10, 2008, 08:45 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    You made your choices and now have to live with them, so don't prove anything to him and go on with your life. So go on with your life.
  • May 10, 2008, 09:16 AM
    ordinaryguy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Queen0804
    I never told him about it. I was scared to tell him because I felt like I couldn't trust him.

    It turns out that you were right not to trust him, and now he's proved it to you. Don't indulge in regrets, don't take his money, cut him out of your life and move on. You have my sympathy. Stay out of relationships until you've had a chance to heal and learn from this experience.
  • May 10, 2008, 09:19 AM
    progunr
    As we grow up, the decisions we make in life have permanent consequences.

    While this is a horrible experience for you to have to cope with, it is the decisions you made that put you here.

    If you weren't close enough, if you didn't trust him enough, then you should not have been having unprotected sex with him.

    You have to decide now, what you are going to do, no one here can tell you.

    It is a hard way to learn, but you have just taken the crash course in decision making. All you can do now is learn from it, and do your best to make better decisions going forward.
  • May 10, 2008, 11:58 AM
    DoulaLC
    >>>>>He claims to love me so why can he trust me?


    Hmmm, why should he trust you? You didn't tell him you were pregnant, you asked him for money for school and used it for an abortion, you weren't going to tell him you had an abortion, and now that you have told him... he wants to know for sure. I don't blame him.
    Whether you show him proof from the clinic is up to you.
    Hopefully you have both learned some lessons that will guide you in future relationships.
    Pay him back the money and move on if you don't want him in your life.
  • May 10, 2008, 12:58 PM
    Queen0804
    You misunderstood me. It was not his money that I used for the abortion. I used my summer tution money that I saved. And now I need the money for school.
  • May 10, 2008, 01:09 PM
    DoulaLC
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Queen0804
    you misunderstood me. It was not his money that I used for the abortion. I used my summer tution money that i saved. and now I need the money

    If you don't want him in your life, don't ask him for the money... This is harsh, but quite frankly I'd be surprised if he gave it to you after your deception. IF he gives you the money, make sure you pay him back so you have no further obligation to him. Otherwise, cut your losses... hopefully you can find the money for tuition elsewhere. Painful lessons... I wish you well in your education.
  • May 10, 2008, 01:58 PM
    simoneaugie
    This guy sounds scared and scary, not in love. What happened, what was done, is done. Cut him off, completely. Don't feel guilty about things you are no longer in control of. No contact, change your phone number, move, whatever it takes, get away from him. Just hearing your story makes me want to hide from this man.
  • Jul 6, 2010, 06:11 AM
    CallofDutyQueen100
    Hey. I just wanted to say I personally think an abortion is wrong ( I don't mean to sound all religious or anything) I'm not going to rag on you for the abortion or anything like that. But, I just wanted to say that you don't have to listen to other people and what they say. Just do what you think is right. If this guy loved you he should at least believe you and try to comfort you. But. Again. Its all up to you.
  • Jul 8, 2010, 05:40 PM
    martinizing2
    Sorry wrong thread

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