My little girl is 2. Her father is in the army but now he is talking about giving up his rights. Can he do so without any of my say so?

Highly unlikely. He would have to prove to the court that the child would be better off and wouldn't become a burden on the state. He can "give up his rights" by giving you sole custody but that's about it without someone (stepdad) to adopt. He won't get out of child support though unless there is an adoption.