My daughters friend has a little girl from a previous girlfriend. They were never married. He is listed as the father on the birth certificate. The mother does not want child support and has sole custody of the child. The father paid for the hospital bills when she was born and still pays all her expenses such as health, medical etc. He is very active in her life and has her every weekend and often during the week while the mother works or has a social life outside her home. The mother uses this arrangement to get her way when she wants something. If the father does not jump to her demands, she then threatens to take him to court and ask for child support. He does not even get to claim her on his tax returns period. What are his rights as the father? Can she take this child out of the state (Wisc) without his permission? Should the child become seriously ill, does he has any rights in regards to deciding her treatment or care? If child support was ordered, would he be expected to pay all child support back to the date of her birth even though he has provided support in other ways and this arrangement was agreed upon by both mother and father. Any information would be helpful. Thank you for your help.

There are a few legal sites on the internet that you could check out. I think that every state has it's own doctrines to go by and your friend should check there and also in city hall for guides as to where to go for help. If his name is on the birth certificate, then he should be able to gain some rights and she should not be able to use the child as a pawn - that's not what children are for. If he does go to see a professional for assistance, tell him that he should have copies of all the bills and extra expenses he's paid to prove that he has been an active participant in the child's life, to include wittinesses of his taking care of the child regularly.
Good luck and please keep us posted. There are also some good legal beagles on the forum who will sign on soon and give you more.

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He should take HER to court now.

He should sue for custody. Primary, or whatever. He need to prove what he does. And then he can show how much he currently spends already.

This woman sounds like a *****.

He needs to take her to court, perhaps he should try to get sole custody. Although it will be an uphill battle for him as courts still tend to favour the mother a bit more.

Without provable records of the support he is giving the cards are all in the mother's favor. Until brought to a court everything he pays unless he gets receipts is a gift for the most part. If the mother claims he's paid nothing and he has no prove then the court will require back support. As far as leaving the state with the child she absolutely can do so. The only way to prevent this is to have a judge rule that the child can not be taken out of state with out both parents consent. Tell your friend to get her to court immediately to not only protect his rights but to ensure the well being of the child.

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Originally Posted by sscota

My daughters friend has a little girl from a previous girlfriend. They were never married. He is listed as the father on the birth certificate.

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Is that the only way he has “established” his paternity? Have they ever done a DNA or have they signed a Voluntary Paternity Acknowledgment? Here is a link to information regarding establishing paternity in Wisconsin: Establishing Paternity in Wiscosnin

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Originally Posted by sscota

The mother does not want child support and has sole custody of the child.

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You say she has sole custody, is that just because she is one who has the child most of the time, or is there an actual court order establishing custody and visitation?

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Originally Posted by sscota

The father paid for the hospital bills when she was born and still pays all her expenses such as health, medical etc. He is very active in her life and has her every weekend and often during the week while the mother works or has a social life outside her home. The mother uses this arrangement to get her way when she wants something. If the father does not jump to her demands, she then threatens to take him to court and ask for child support.

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All payments for any reason made outside of a court order are usually considered a “gift”. If a child support order had been established he would have been required to carry his daughter on his insurance anyway, so that will not count.

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Originally Posted by sscota

He does not even get to claim her on his tax returns period.

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No, he wouldn't get to claim her unless he pays child support, or has primary custody of the child. Since he can not legally prove by way of court order that he pays for more than half her support he is not entitled to the deduction. Even if he pays child support he may not be entitled to the exemption. Who gets to claim her may be bargained/agreed upon between the parents or it can be ordered by the court. If it is mutually agreed upon by the parents it needs to be included in the order to be enforceable and will be the required proof the IRS will ask for.

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Originally Posted by sscota

What are his rights as the father?

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Without legally establishing his paternity he has no legal rights, only moral rights.

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Originally Posted by sscota

Can she take this child out of the state (Wisc) without his permission?

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Again until he has establishes his legal rights as her father and gets it specifically written in a court order that she can not remove/relocate the child's residence out of the state, then she will be able to do so.

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Originally Posted by sscota

Should the child become seriously ill, does he has any rights in regards to deciding her treatment or care?

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Not without legally establishing his paternity and getting a court order for joint/sole legal custody.

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Originally Posted by sscota

If child support was ordered, would he be expected to pay all child support back to the date of her birth even though he has provided support in other ways and this arrangement was agreed upon by both mother and father. Any information would be helpful. Thank you for your help.

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Paternity and Child Support. In recent years there has been a major change in Wisconsin's Paternity statutes. In years predating 2000, child support could be made retroactive to the date of the child's birth no matter how old the child was at the time the paternity action was commenced. Currently, Sections 767.51(4) and 767.62(4m) of Wisconsin statutes limit retroactive child support awards to the date of filing the paternity action.
There are exceptions to this ruling. In some circumstances child support may predate the commencement of the paternity action if there was a delay in commencing the paternity action because of threats, promises, or representations, by the father that the mother relied on or if the father evaded service to avoid the commencement of paternity proceedings.

Dad needs to establish his rights legally. If he has done this already and there is a court order for custody then he would need to check his court order and see if there is anything written about taking the child out of the state and also check to see what type of “legal custody” he has. He would need to have at least joint legal. If these things are not included as such then he needs to request a modification through the family court where the order was established and ask for these things to be changed. He needs a lawyer.

If there is no order he needs to contact a lawyer and file to establish paternity/custody & visitation/child support. This is not something that should be attempted on his own; it is a complicated and serious process. Here is a link to additional information including legal terms and definitions that will be helpful: Legal Terms

Every state is very different, my husbands kids mom took his daughter out of state without permission . He still paid support and had no say in it.