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-   -   Best friend and boyfriend, what should I do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=213550)

  • May 7, 2008, 12:22 PM
    helmethead1120
    Best friend and boyfriend, what should I do?
    Hi,
    Well I'm having difficulty on who to believe.
    Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 5 months and about to be 6 months on may 20.
    We have been acting like a couple for over a year now.
    But then over the last summer I had made a best friend.
    And I would tell her everything.
    And then her and my boyfriend had also become friends.
    And hey I was cool with that.
    Until spring break popped up and he broke up with me.
    The only person I had there for me was my best friend and I talked to her every night and my boyfriend would call her also to talk to her.
    And then my boyfriend comes to my house the first day of school after spring break started and gives me roses and asks for me back.
    But then later I find out from my best friend that a week before my boyfriend had gone to her house and finge**d her.
    I hate her but like I don't know who to believe because my boyfriend is telling me one story and she's telling me another..

    HELP ME!
  • May 7, 2008, 12:25 PM
    bigbird213
    Honestly, you don't need either of them. First of all, if she was truly your friend then she should respect the boundaries that you just don't cross - such as getting involved with best friend's ex's.

    As far as he goes -- technically he didn't do anything wrong because you weren't together, but I think actions like that speak volumes of his character. You need to think about what kind of person he really is and if he would do it again. Life is too short to be playing the breakup/back together/breakup game.

    Just out of curiosity: How old are you all?
  • May 7, 2008, 12:35 PM
    N0help4u
    Best friends often do come between you and a boyfriend either because of jealousy or they want the guy for themselves. If you are not sure why he broke up with you he could have been falling for lies she was feeding him to break up with you hoping he would go with her.
    You have to evaluate and decide is he worth giving a second chance to or not.
    If you decide to give him another chance you have to discuss in full what your problems were in your relationship, how to fix them and how to be stronger this time around. Also tell him that if he wants a working relationship he needs to discuss things with you rather than take somebody else's word for things.
    Then you both need to lose the best friend.
  • May 7, 2008, 12:36 PM
    helmethead1120
    But like she knew we were going to get back together and stuff and then like she knew he meant the world to me. And like it was disrespect for her to go behind my back and do that.

    Well he said he went over there cause that was a day that he was mad at me and he just wanted to be with someone other than me that would make him laugh. So then whatever he went over there and who knows what happened..

    And I'm turning 17 in August and he is 20
  • May 7, 2008, 12:39 PM
    helmethead1120
    N0help4u he doesn't want to be with her.
    He just liked hanging around with her and talking to her cause she has add and its funny.
  • May 7, 2008, 12:40 PM
    N0help4u
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by helmethead1120
    but like she knew we were going to get back together and stuff and then like she knew he meant the world to me. and like it was disrespect for her to go behind my back and do that.

    well he said he went over there cause that was a day that he was mad at me and he just wanted to be with someone other than me that would make him laugh. so then whatever he went over there and who knows what happened..

    and im turning 17 in august and he is 20

    Exactly, she was disrespecting your relationship all the way around.

    He could have gone over when he was mad and felt he needed somebody to help him through his problems. That is why if you take him back you need to both iron everything out and communicate better throughout the relationship.
  • May 7, 2008, 12:42 PM
    N0help4u
    I understand he doesn't want to be with her. I am saying he needs to drop even talking with her no matter how funny she seems to him. She isn't all that funny if she can manipulate YOUR relationship.
  • May 7, 2008, 12:45 PM
    helmethead1120
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by N0help4u
    He could have gone over when he was mad and felt he needed somebody to help him through his problems.


    There's the problem.
    He didn't want to come to me cause he told me the day after he broke up with me that for me never to talk to him and not to call him or nothing.
    He didn't want to see me or anything.
    So he sort of couldn't just come to my house for my problems.
    And he would over-ask my best friend on how I was.
  • May 7, 2008, 12:49 PM
    N0help4u
    People say and do rash things when they are upset and after they have the time and space to clear their thinking they realize they did make stupid choices. He could be at that point where he truly wants to correct his mistakes.
    His asking her how you were could very well prove he was not over you.
  • May 7, 2008, 01:12 PM
    helmethead1120
    Yeah I know.
    He said he wished that he could go back in time and never go over there.
  • Jul 18, 2008, 09:54 PM
    mArZ 13
    Just forgive and forget... that's life... well, just move on.. you'll going to meet a loving man than him.. and you'll meet a faithful best friend ever... are you 16 today? Because I'm 16 too turning 17 this November... hope you'll find the right guy. Tc.

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