Recently the guy I have been dating for about a year, who I am dearly in love with but has never stated any feelings for me, sent me this text message. What if I confessed my love for you and said I can't live without you would you follow me to Japan? He is moving to Japan for four years (military). He still won't say his true feelings so how should I take this?

I think you should answer his question honestly.

What if he did confess his love for you, said he couldn't live without you, and asked you if you would follow him to Japan?

Speculation dictates that this person may still not "feel" what you feel and wants more time. Feeling love or being in love for someone does not guarantee reciprocity. Give it time. If he wants to leave to Japan and you don't, let him go.

I think there is this vocabulary block with some men... they simple can not spit out the words I Love You. I think as with many of us, there is this thought in the back of their head "Do I even know what love is? I mean I have had this feeling in my stomach before and it was because I had eaten a bad burrito..."

Does he express love in other ways?

You could always reply to him "Japan sounds so exciting and I've always wanted to experience that culture... with or without your love it sounds like a fantastic trip... you paying?"

A year of dating can not translate into 4 years in Japan. No way do you follow him. I doubt you could even last with a long distance relationship. Let him go, and you stay here.

meh, depends what you have going on in your life I guess... if u love him, and don't think about anybody but him...

it's a big risk, things don't go right, you're alone in japan and have to fly home...

it's a big risk, things work out and four years later, you're fluent in japanese, lived abroad, and are still in love.


pick one, with variables... but basically :P

He seems to be asking you if you would drop everything where you are now, and follow him to Japan. Knowing that there are no guarantees in life, decide on if you would be willing to do it or not, and let him know your decision.

I would take it to mean that he doesn't want to confess his feelings if you are not willing to follow him. It seems that he doesn't want that distance factor in the relationship...

Without knowing him, it doesn't seem like he is toying with you. It only seems like he is being careful about his feelings given that he will be leaving soon...

Perhaps, he is trying to find out your level of commitment to the relationship??

One of my close friends ended up following her boyfriend to another country for the same reason, military. The relationship did not work out. She was sent home and had nothing good to say about the experience.

In the end, you are going to do what you are going to do, regardless of what anyone says. On the other hand, just because another similar relationship did not end in success does not mean that it will not work out for you, but there are a lot more risks involved here. I would want to talk to him about this and not make a decision on this through texting.

You two aren't even in a committed relationship... in which case, I would say... do what is best for you. Dropping your job, family, goals, etc. life in general all for a guy who you're not even sure of...

... a big N-O.

I would say, combine what oneguyinohio and sneezy said..
That would be my post. :]

Oops! Should have quoted and responded rather than rating HistoryChick's answer :)

Mostly I thought HistoryChick's answer honed in on the question that being asked.

Sound to be like he's testing the waters before he dives in. It seems to me that he's afraid of getting hurt and therefore wants to know how you feel before he admits how he feels. Follow you gut and heart, make a list of pros and cons, be honest with yourself and him.

Number one thing though, if you don't think you'll be happy with him or in Japan then you shouldn't go, this decision requires allot more conversation between the two of you, obviously there isn't much of that at this time. Talk, talk, talk, list, list, list, and then decide.

Good Luck. :)