Hey there

I think I had a panic attack this morning. Been through a lot recently, a big breakup, lot of stress at work, moving flat, ugh it's been really tough.

Went out over the weekend with some friends on a drinking session, first for a while. Since Sunday morning my mood has been just awful. Incredibly stressed, a gripping tension in my chest, really bleak thoughts and regrets. Last night I fell asleep on the couch then woke with a start at 2am. I thought for a while, then this rush of anxiety came over me. I logged on to a chatroom and talked to a few people and this helped a bit. When I went to bed though I kept waking, suddenly, with this rush of anxiety again. Jesus it was horrible.

This morning I woke, again really stressed out, it felt like a wave, literally a wave of despair. I was freaking, thinking only of regrets, unable to think of anything aside from the mistakes I've made. Just couldn't see anything apart from darkness. I hate admitting this, I hate being like this, hate using words like despair, but it's how I feel. Went to work, thoughts full of crap all the way. Had a meeting, which I got through, but I just wasn't there at all. My thoughts were everything. I'm so scared of the future. I can't ever see myself getting over this, can't ever see myself being happy in the future.

I need to find out what's wrong with me. I feel wretched. I'm going to see a doctor or something. I need to get help.

Think about all the things you have done in your life that have been a success. Stop focusing on the negative. Give yourself a word of encouragement, and a pat on the back, you deserve it! You sound as if you are physically and mentally exhausted. After you see the doctor, he can give you something to he lp you sleep. Lots of times after you have had 8 or 9 hours of good rest , things don't t look or sound as bad. Hope you feel better.
As far as the big break-up is concerned, I know it hurts however, in the end you will find it is probably for the best.

Things didn't seem to bad a while back, but now it's just dreadful. I know that I have to take care of myself, and I'm going to the doctors today to see what can be done.

I am exhausted. I can't stop thinking about what I've lost. I honestly think I'm having a breakdown. I don't know what's happened to me. I need help and I'm going today. I had no idea what this kind of thing felt like, and it's bloody awful. I'm going to get some help in this.

I might see about taking a week or so off work soon, head back to the parents, just forget about everything for a while. Things have been so tough.

Don't talk yourself into a breakdown; you'll put yourself back five years.

You have to cry and let out all your emotions over the breakup. Cry and mourn the relationship, and more crying. Have a good therapist help you through this difficult time.

The death of one dream can make way for the birth of even better dreams and goals if we properly mourn and grow as a person. :)

You can do it.

Put things into perspective. You are fearful of the unknown as most of us would be when handling situations that call for action outside our comfort zone. Act only on things that you have information on and are aware of. The other things that you have no control, let go. With time things will become clearer. If you are regretting something that you have done, face your problem head on and clarify it or ask for forgiveness if you have hurt someone.

Challenges in life do not have to drag us down, they are character builders. Push through and you'll be amazed as to how much you can do!

I am dwelling on this all, I know. I do blame myself for the whole thing. I hadn't been in love with her for a while and I blamed myself for that too, fought against it, told myself it was because I was afraid of commitment, that I should be different, that she was the only one for me. Once we'd split, I couldn't let go, didn't process things, kept picturing the life we would have had. Talk about beating yourself up..

Thanks for the positive replies people. It's exactly what I have to do. I know I'm talking myself into feeling bad, but it's such an effort to stay positive. My mind naturally drifts into negativity. I'm not letting go of the relationship and I just have to.

I got some sleeping pills, and though I was still pretty anxious this morning things weren't quite as bad. I'm going to see the doctor soon in my new town, and get to speak to a therapist about the way I've been thinking, about the way I've been beating myself up. I've cut down on alcohol massively, and I don't drink much caffeine anymore either. I want to fix this.

Hi,

I think the message below will help you , take care



Little Things : Must read..

Whatever that happens in life, happens for good... so stop worrying about the future and forget the past.
After Sept. 11th, one company invited the remaining members of other Companies who had been decimated by the attack on the Twin Towers to share their available office space.. At a morning meeting, the head of security told stories of why these people were alive, and all the stories were just the 'L I T T L E' things.
As you might know, the head of the company survived that day because his son started kindergarten.
Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.
One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time.
One of them missed his bus.
One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.
One's car wouldn't start.
One went back to answer the telephone.
One had a child that dawdled and didn't get ready as soon as he should have.
One couldn't get a taxi.
The one that struck everyone was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.
Now when I am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone... all the little things that annoy me. I think to myself, this is exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment...
Next time your morning seems to be going wrong, the children are slow getting dressed, you can't seem to find the car keys, you hit every traffic light, don't get mad or frustrated.
God is at work watching over you.