My 16 yo son is a straight A student now, is on the track team and does great at that, but he has many issues that worry me. He has always had a problem learning. We went through a lot of hard times with the school, our community and just people in general who weren't supportive. I look at pictures when Ryan was young and want to cry. He was so sweet, but always had a hard time making friends. I would do all I could to encourage friends. We'd have many parties where I'd go all out. Everyone would come to our home and had a great time. A family who always came, had a party and didn't invite Ryan. Everyone was invited but Ryan. I called the mother and told her how rotten she was to do that to Ryan when her son was always invited and came to our parties.

Anway, Ryan is 16 now, had more "friends" last year when the track team was more accepting of him. Most of the those kids have gone to college and the newer team members aren't as tolerable. Ryan is odd. He seems overly "proper" by calling his coach sir all the time while the other kids call him the usual coach, or his last name. I think this turns kids off. He does well in track thankfully, but otherwise has no friends. He never has had friends. I know he tries, but it never works out. We went out to dinner and Ryan wanted to invite a friend. I said okay, but the friend didn't want to go. He was so upset, but I told him to call him last minute and go out with him or a couple others. Kids like last minute invites. He was still upset.

Anyway, Ryan makes the strangest faces, socially is terrible, appears to talk to himself sometimes. His mouth moves, but he doesn't say anything out loud. It is strange. When we went out to dinner last night, the owner who we know was joking around and I looked at Ryan and he made the most bizarre face. He has been bullied his entire life and I think now he can't determine bullying from fun. It's so embarrassing and I don't know what else to do.

The head of the guidance department spoke with me last summer and said how terrible it was that Ryan wasn't being challenged in school. He was getting straight As and had mostly easier classes although he was in an advanced course or two. He loves history and there is little he doesn't know about it. I went along with what the guidance director said and he completely botched up Ryan's schedule. He was putting him in classes that he shouldn't have taken with a prerequisite, etc. This was the head of the dept! He never called me to discuss anything, just put things back the way they were going to be to begin with. That's typical of the school - they've never been any help to us. I would have appreciated him calling me and discussing the mess, but the schools mess up and don't do a darn thing to gain repore with the parents.

I just feel something is not right with Ryan, but don't know what it is. Maybe it is the years of bullying that have hurt him, is it a more serious psych issues, is it depression, or something else? Will he outgrow this? I don't know what to do. I hate his school and the community who has never been very kind to us. I have two other kids (14 and 9) and Ryan doesn't even try to get along with them. I am 100% it is not that he is on drugs. Doesn't anyone have any ideas?

Has he ever been evaluated by a psychologist? Clearly he has some issues that a trained professional may be able to diagnose.

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Originally Posted by lhmom

My 16 yo son is a straight A student now, is on the track team and does great at that, but he has many issues that worry me. He has always had a problem learning. We went through a lot of hard times with the school, our community and just people in general who weren't supportive. I look at pictures when Ryan was young and want to cry. He was so sweet, but always had a hard time making friends. I would do all I could to encourage friends. We'd have many parties where I'd go all out. Everyone would come to our home and had a great time. A family who always came, had a party and didn't invite Ryan. Everyone was invited but Ryan. I called the mother and told her how rotten she was to do that to Ryan when her son was always invited and came to our parties.

Anway, Ryan is 16 now, had more "friends" last year when the track team was more accepting of him. Most of the those kids have gone to college and the newer team members aren't as tolerable. Ryan is odd. He seems overly "proper" by calling his coach sir all the time while the other kids call him the usual coach, or his last name. I think this turns kids off. He does well in track thankfully, but otherwise has no friends. He never has had friends. I know he tries, but it never works out. We went out to dinner and Ryan wanted to invite a friend. I said okay, but the friend didn't want to go. He was so upset, but I told him to call him last minute and go out with him or a couple others. Kids like last minute invites. He was still upset.

Anyway, Ryan makes the strangest faces, socially is terrible, appears to talk to himself sometimes. His mouth moves, but he doesn't say anything out loud. It is strange. When we went out to dinner last night, the owner who we know was joking around and I looked at Ryan and he made the most bizarre face. He has been bullied his entire life and I think now he can't determine bullying from fun. It's so embarrassing and I don't know what else to do.

The head of the guidance department spoke with me last summer and said how terrible it was that Ryan wasn't being challenged in school. He was getting straight As and had mostly easier classes although he was in an advanced course or two. He loves history and there is little he doesn't know about it. I went along with what the guidance director said and he completely botched up Ryan's schedule. He was putting him in classes that he shouldn't have taken with a prerequisite, etc. This was the head of the dept! He never called me to discuss anything, just put things back the way they were going to be to begin with. That's typical of the school - they've never been any help to us. I would have appreciated him calling me and discussing the mess, but the schools mess up and don't do a darn thing to gain repore with the parents.

I just feel something is not right with Ryan, but don't know what it is. Maybe it is the years of bullying that have hurt him, is it a more serious psych issues, is it depression, or something else? Will he outgrow this? I don't know what to do. I hate his school and the community who has never been very kind to us. I have two other kids (14 and 9) and Ryan doesn't even try to get along with them. I am 100% it is not that he is on drugs. Doesn't anyone have any ideas?

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I think only a Physician, following testing, can be 100% sure.

Poor kid -

Anyway, could it be a very case of Tourette's Syndrome, although it doesn't seem as severe as Tourette's can be? A friend of mine's daughter constantly smelled her hands and then flapped them in the air, sort of like drying them. They tried just about everything, it was worse when she was stressed, kids in school made fun of her - and it was Tourette's. She also made facial grimaces on occasion.

For his sake I think you have to get some assistance with this as quickly as you can.

Hope it works out for all of you - must be a heartache.

I am sorry for your concern with your son, it is the hardest thing in the world to worry about a child's mental health. I am going to try to be as honest as poss. From reading your post it sounds like maybe he has always had some kind of prob, maybe the kids picked up on it at an early age, therefore he was picked on. You say he makes faces and looks as if he is talking-moving his mouth. I worked at a nursing home and some of the residents were psych pts and displayed this type of behavior. If I were you I would get him to a psychologist. A lot of dissorders can be treated on the right meds.
Good luck to you.

I agree with the others you need to take him to a psychologist to get a proper diagnosis.
You say he makes straight A's so he does need something a little more challenging.
You say he makes faces. Is it something involuntary that he can not control and maybe even isn't aware of? Tourrets is one of those disorders.
Or is he doing it just to be odd?
Also I wouldn't push him to socialize so much it could just end up making him feel worse because of the kids rejections towards him. Many kids grow up without friends and while it can be lonely they do okay.

Well, he might just need someone to talk to. Try a therapist or school counciler. Maybe he's depressed, cause being in high school is hard. He may be thinking whatever he does isn't good enough. But get him someone to talk to cause if its major, you don't want him taking his own life. I know that's a scary thought but you have to think of the possibilites. I knew a great kid just like your son but he had things going on inside and didn't tell anyone, so no body knew. In the end he took his own life. I know your thinking "no my son would never do that." but you can't think that way. So get him to talk to someone. Let me know if you need anything else

IHmom you skimmed over the surface but it is very difficult to narrow down where to look based on it. I see that he makes weird facial expressions but explain. You said he gets straight A's but also said he has learning problems, what kind of learning problems? The overly proper thing... can point to Asperger's syndrome (ex. Napoleon Dynamite is text book Asperger's). Asperger's is a mild form of Autism, the key symptoms are odd speech (overly proper); absence of emotion; social isolation; but often they are very intelligent and usually gifted in at least one subject.