Ask Me Help Desk - Boyfriend ! Trust issues

OK! Im 18 and I have a boyfriend I have been wit for almost two years now. He lives wit me and I love him wit all my heart! But he is REALLY REALLY REALLY jealous! He thinks every time I pick up my phone or I go out with the girls that imma leave him or cheat on him! But this comes back to his old relationship because all his ex's has cheated on him! And he has a hard time wit trust!But I'm not like that! But its almost been two years and he still don't trust me 100%... so wha do do? Just give up? Because I know you can't have a good relationship without trust! But I trust him 100%! Help!

Have you talked with him about this? I'd give him an ultimatum- work through his issues or get out. You're right, there can't be a healthy relationship without trust. But the trust needs to be both ways. If he can't trust you that's his issue that he needs to work on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kendrakay

OK! Im 18 and i have a boyfriend i have been wit for almost two years now. He lives wit me and i love him wit all my heart! But he is REALLY REALLY REALLY jealous!! He thinks every time i pick up my phone or i go out with the girls that imma leave him or cheat on him! But this comes back to his old relationship because all his ex's has cheated on him! And he has a hard time wit trust!But im not like that! But its almost been two years and he still dont trust me 100%...so wha do do?! Just give up?? Because i kno you can't have a good relationship without trust! but i trust him 100%! help!

I would say, talk to him firstly,
Tell him what you feel, tell him you love him and that you really want this to work,
But it can't work if he doesn't trust you.
Moreover, tell him you understand he had bad experiences with relationships before but that doesn't mean everyone is like that.
He needs to open a new page and give you an equal chance he gave the other girls.
Make it clear to him that you would not cheat on him and hear him out.

If talking to him doesn't work,
Then tell him it won't be work and you can't keep being with him..
Because without trust this relationship will not work, and staying longer with him will just make it harder on you.

If he reallly loves you he would realise he is hurting your relationship..

Quote:

Originally Posted by justcurious55

have you talked with him about this? i'd give him an ultimatum- work through his issues or get out. you're right, there can't be a healthy relationship without trust. but the trust needs to be both ways. if he can't trust you thats his issue that he needs to work on.

Yea we have talked about it he tells me he loves me and he wants to trust me but he also says I don't know how hard it is to gain trust. And that part I don't understand because I've have also been told "Trust someone till they give you a reason not to". I feel like when we talk that we get nowhere! We have MAJOR money problems to! Because my mom and dad also showed me how to mange my money out! But he blows everything! And money is a big deal to me and my family! But the family he comes from because really care less and they all have big money problems too! I mean don't get my wrong I know money isn't everything but if we going to be together we need to know how to work on it together! A lot of people tell me to give up on this relationship because Money and Trust are two really bigs thing in a relationship!

Quote:

Originally Posted by dana1989

i would say, talk to him firstly,
tell him what u feel, tell him you love him and that you really want this to work,
but it can't work if he doesnt trust you.
Moreover, tell him you understand he had bad experiences with relationships before but that doesnt mean everyone is like that.
he needs to open a new page and give u an equal chance he gave the other girls.
make it clear to him that you would not cheat on him and hear him out.

if talking to him doesnt work,
then tell him it wont be work and you can't keep being with him..
because without trust this realtionship will not work, and staying longer with him will just make it harder on you.

if he reallly loves u he would realise he is hurting your relationship ..

Yea we have talked about it he tells me he loves me and he wants to trust me but he also says I don't know how hard it is to gain trust. And that part I don't understand because I've have also been told "Trust someone till they give you a reason not to". I feel like when we talk that we get nowhere! We have MAJOR money problems to! Because my mom and dad also showed me how to mange my money out! But he blows everything! And money is a big deal to me and my family! But the family he comes from because really care less and they all have big money problems too! I mean don't get my wrong I know money isn't everything but if we going to be together we need to know how to work on it together! A lot of people tell me to give up on this relationship because Money and Trust are two really bigs thing in a relationship!

Hm, kind of sounds like you're the one doing all the work in the relationship. Like I suggested before, give him another chance and make it clear that he either needs to work his issues out (and quickly too!) or leave. Its not fair to you otherwise.