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-   -   Is there a statute of limitations on child molestation? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=212391)

  • May 4, 2008, 06:54 AM
    2C_is2believe
    Is there a statute of limitations on child molestation?
    My parents divorced when I was 3. Every other weekend my brother, my sister and myself had visitation with my father. A male cousin who was often at my father's house, would try constantly to molest my sister, my brother and myself. He always tried to do this while we were sleeping. He would wake us up trying to fondle us, or to expose himself, he would try masturbating in front of us and ask us to touch it. Whenever he started this, I always ran to my dad's room or my step-sister's room to get away from him. By the way, my step-sister endured the same abuse from him as well. No penetration ever occurred with my sister, step-sister or I, but my brother admitted that my cousin actually penetrated him, on more than one occasion. He said he asked my cousin to stop, but my cousin continued to rape him well into his teens.

    In adulthood, both my brother and sister became homosexual.

    The problem I am having is that my cousin's sister has 3 girls. The oldest is 18 and the younger ones are 5 and 7. My female cousin admitted to me that my cousin, her brother, was doing the same things to her girls that he did to us. She said she didn't think it was anything more than "tickling". I asked her what she was going to do about it and she said nothing. She said she needed her brother. She said he helps her a lot with her kids, and that she needs that break. I think she needs a break all right, but I think it should be her neck.

    My Grandfather recently passed away, but my Grandmother is still alive. My sick cousin takes care of my Grandmother; he does everything for her. He takes her shopping, takes her to church, takes her to her doctor's appointments, etc. My Grandmother swears the sun rises and sets on him; she is rather fond of him. She has no idea what he has done or what he is doing, and sometimes I think if I told her she was just accuse me of lying. If only she knew what a monster he truly is.

    I do not want my baby cousins growing up the same way we did, fearing men. I do not want them to have to endure what we did either. I told my Dad when I was a child what my cousin was doing, and my Dad did nothing. My father is now deceased. I told my mom when I was an adult and she broke down. She asked why we never told her as children. But I was 5, I told an adult, my father, and as I said, he did nothing. As a child I thought I did the right thing by telling an adult. I guess I just told the wrong adult. My mother is now deceased as well.

    I am stuck as to whether I should call CPS, tell the entire family, or try to have him prosecuted. If I tell my family, I am almost certain the molestation would stop, but I am not certain if my baby cousins would admit that it is happening. Is there a statute of limitations on child molestation? My brother is deceased, but my sister, step-sister and I still remember my cousin's actions vividly.

    I am mostly concerned about my baby cousins and whether I should call CPS, tell my family, turn him in or all of the above. Any advice would be appreciated.
  • May 4, 2008, 07:17 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by 2C_is2believe
    My parents divorced when I was 3. Every other weekend my brother, my sister and myself had visitation with my father. A male cousin who was often at my father’s house, would try constantly to molest my sister, my brother and myself. He always tried to do this while we were sleeping. He would wake us up trying to fondle us, or to expose himself, he would try masturbating in front of us and ask us to touch it. Whenever he started this, I always ran to my dad’s room or my step-sister’s room to get away from him. By the way, my step-sister endured the same abuse from him as well. No penetration ever occurred with my sister, step-sister or I, but my brother admitted that my cousin actually penetrated him, on more than one occasion. He said he asked my cousin to stop, but my cousin continued to rape him well into his teens.

    In adulthood, both my brother and sister became homosexual.

    The problem I am having is that my cousin’s sister has 3 girls. The oldest is 18 and the younger ones are 5 and 7. My female cousin admitted to me that my cousin, her brother, was doing the same things to her girls that he did to us. She said she didn’t think it was anything more than "tickling". I asked her what she was going to do about it and she said nothing. She said she needed her brother. She said he helps her a lot with her kids, and that she needs that break. I think she needs a break alright, but I think it should be her neck.

    My Grandfather recently passed away, but my Grandmother is still alive. My sick cousin takes care of my Grandmother; he does everything for her. He takes her shopping, takes her to church, takes her to her doctor’s appointments, etc. My Grandmother swears the sun rises and sets on him; she is rather fond of him. She has no idea what he has done or what he is doing, and sometimes I think if I told her she was just accuse me of lying. If only she knew what a monster he truly is.

    I do not want my baby cousins growing up the same way we did, fearing men. I do not want them to have to endure what we did either. I told my Dad when I was a child what my cousin was doing, and my Dad did nothing. My father is now deceased. I told my mom when I was an adult and she broke down. She asked why we never told her as children. But I was 5, I told an adult, my father, and as I said, he did nothing. As a child I thought I did the right thing by telling an adult. I guess I just told the wrong adult. My mother is now deceased as well.

    I am stuck as to whether I should call CPS, tell the entire family, or try to have him prosecuted. If I tell my family, I am almost certain the molestation would stop, but I am not certain if my baby cousins would admit that it is happening. Is there a statute of limitations on child molestation? My brother is deceased, but my sister, step-sister and I still remember my cousin’s actions vividly.

    I am mostly concerned about my baby cousins and whether I should call CPS, tell my family, turn him in or all of the above. Any advice would be appreciated.


    There are Statutes of Limitations in abuse cases but there are also a lot of factors involved and the Statute is not held as tightly as, say, a personal injury statute.

    If you think there is a possibility that these children are being abused I don't think you have a choice but to do everything in your power to prevent or stop the abuse whether that's calling CPS, telling everyone in your family, contacting an Attorney. And I think you have to do it soon.

    No one protected you but you are in a position to protect them.
  • May 4, 2008, 07:17 AM
    twinkiedooter
    Call Child Protective Services. It would be better if you did in the end as no one likes the idea of having sat on the sidelines and watched something happen that they could have changed history and stopped it from happening. How would you feel in years to come if they in fact did turn out the way you feared? Also, just what kind of a normal childhood do you think these kids are having now? As far as I can ascertain, they should not be having a nice, warm, fuzzy childhood. You need to help them now before too much damage is done. Also you need to contact an attorney and discuss your own particular case against your tormentor. You could possibly bring a suit against them or pursue them criminally. An attorney can advise you regarding your rights and the time limits involved in your particular state. Good luck.
  • May 4, 2008, 07:20 AM
    LLanet
    First of all I am truly sorry for what has happened to you and your family,but why are you letting this go on you should do the right thing and turn him in.That is sick and for him to think it's all right to do this to small children.It's hard to do these things to a family member,but think about your baby cousins their probably going thought the same things you went through and it seems like the only person that can stop it is you.God bless!
  • May 4, 2008, 07:30 AM
    2C_is2believe
    Thank you all for your advice!

    Yes, I have been living with this for over 30 years. My sisters are both in their 40's. That is why I ask about the statute. It really has been a long time. I was under the impression there was a statute of limitations for everything, except murder.

    Again, I thank you for the advice.
  • May 4, 2008, 07:38 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by 2C_is2believe
    Thank you all for your advice!

    Yes, I have been living with this for over 30 years. My sisters are both in their 40's. That is why I ask about the statute. It really has been a long time. I was under the impression there was a statute of limitations for everything, except murder.

    Again, I thank you for the advice.



    Depending on your State there probably IS a Statute - research a little on the Internet. It's one of those crimes where the legal system is not happy with the Statute and CAN work around it -

    Anyway, you have other options and maybe you don't want to go through the publicity - and expense - of suing him anyway or trying to get him arrested.
  • Dec 28, 2011, 06:17 AM
    shena2329
    I am now faced with almost the same situation except peatration did happen. This little girl that know wastold that she was loved by the man that molested her. She was 14yrs old and he was 23 yrs old at the time.They are both in their early forties. Contact has been made between the two after 34yrs and my friend feels confused and tormented about her past and do not know what to do, I do not know what to tell her.
  • Dec 28, 2011, 06:22 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Where was this?

    That is not the usual age difference when adult/child abuse is involved.
  • Dec 28, 2011, 07:42 PM
    AK lawyer
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    Where was this?

    That is not the usual age difference when adult/child abuse is involved.

    Basically statutory rape. As you said in this thread several years ago, it is probably past the applicable SOL.
  • Dec 29, 2011, 07:35 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by AK lawyer View Post
    Basically statutory rape. As you said in this thread several years ago, it is probably past the applicable SOL.


    Hmm - did I agree with myself or argue with myself?

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