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-   -   Sad drunk loner (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=212379)

  • May 4, 2008, 06:28 AM
    wayne888
    Sad drunk loner
    I'm 30 years old I've just lost my family and job threw drink I know I've a serious problem with drink I try tackle it, but then feel so lonely and isolated I always end up back in bar I've very few friends except my drinking buddies I suffer from low self esteem, any suggestions would be welcome on how to get back on track. I don't know any other life :( :(
  • May 4, 2008, 06:32 AM
    Clough
    I think that you know what you need to do but that you are avoiding it. If drinking is what has led you to this type of ruination in your life, then you need to stop doing it. What do you think?
  • May 4, 2008, 06:34 AM
    bushg
    Wayne, I am very sorry that you choose to cover up your problems with drinking.
    But at least you realize it and that is the most important thing that has happened to you.
    Get into some types of counseling so that you can understand why you reach for the bottle. There are different types of programs.
    Also find something to do with your time that you can be proud of. I really believe that a lot of people drink just because they have nothing better to do. There are so many organizations that could use a helping hand they would be grateful for you to lend one.

    I will try to find some programs to post for you and many others on here will be able to give you some good advice for getting your life back on track.
  • May 4, 2008, 06:40 AM
    bushg
    Non 12 Step Program - Twelve Step AA Alternatives a non12 step program

    Or

    Alcoholics Anonymous : Information on A.A. 12 step program
  • May 4, 2008, 06:51 AM
    Clough
    And, now he is gone...

    At least for now. I do know where he is coming from because of personal experience...
  • May 4, 2008, 06:54 AM
    Clough
    If you want support to help yourself here, Wayne, you will find it. Some of us here have been where you have been also.
  • May 4, 2008, 09:21 AM
    talaniman
    When you have had enough misery and pain

    Addiction - Drug Addiction and Addiction Resources, Drug Addiction and Alcohol Addiction Treatment
  • May 4, 2008, 09:49 AM
    KalFour
    Look at the links posted above if you haven't already.

    Now first, I want you to go through your house and find every bottle of alcohol. Then I want you to throw them all away.
    Next, you need to stop being tempted to go to the pub. A good start would be to find an alternative means of socialising. Try joining a club/organisation/group or anything else that can offer you social interaction. AA meetings even.
    When you're feeling the urge to drink, find something else that can occupy you, just to take your mind of it. Do you have any hobbies? Writing, woodturning... knitting! It doesn't matter, just something that you can turn to.
    These are just a couple of steps that can be helpful, but the most important thing is that you really want to stop. You have to develop the willpower to take a stand and stick to it.

    Good luck,
    Kal
  • May 5, 2008, 09:05 AM
    heart2heart
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by wayne888
    im 30 years old ive just lost my family and job threw drink i know ive a serious problem with drink i try tackle it, but then feel so lonely and isolated i always end up back in bar ive very few friends except my drinking buddies i suffer from low self esteem, any suggestions would be welcome on how to get back on track. i dont know any other life :( :(


    I really think AA would be good for you... shop around, some meetings are full of whiners but some are full of rational, real, honest support. The things that make 12 step programs so effective is the group support available through spending time with folks at every level of recovery who relate and do not judge and also the ongoing self repair that is made possible through the 12 steps... it really does work IF you are willing to work the program the way it is written... most of all, with the support of peers, you won't feel isolated and alone and you have somewhere to go instead of the bottle... develop some friendships here and there are tons of activities where you can learn to have fun again without drinking! Yourself esteem can only be repaired once you begin to do esteem-able things... get a new job, complete tasks, keep your word, make something with your hands, be supportive to a friend (which does not include joining in their misery), and redefining your life in terms of positive fulfillment. Best of Luck on your journey of rediscovery! Reach out and allow yourself to be helped so that you, in turn, can reach out to help another!!
  • May 5, 2008, 09:10 AM
    Morning Blaze
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by wayne888
    im 30 years old ive just lost my family and job threw drink i know ive a serious problem with drink i try tackle it, but then feel so lonely and isolated i always end up back in bar ive very few friends except my drinking buddies i suffer from low self esteem, any suggestions would be welcome on how to get back on track. i dont know any other life :( :(

    Do you know why you've a drink problem? If you can find the route of the problem then there is some hope of you getting to where and who you want to be. You have got a lot of advice from a lot of people above but I'm here if you just need to talk and take you mind of things :)
  • May 5, 2008, 09:27 AM
    amIwrong
    I agree
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Clough
    I think that you know what you need to do but that you are avoiding it. If drinking is what has led you to this type of ruination in your life, then you need to stop doing it. What do you think?

  • May 11, 2008, 11:33 AM
    Deb Rincon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by wayne888
    im 30 years old ive just lost my family and job threw drink i know ive a serious problem with drink i try tackle it, but then feel so lonely and isolated i always end up back in bar ive very few friends except my drinking buddies i suffer from low self esteem, any suggestions would be welcome on how to get back on track. i dont know any other life :( :(

    Have you ever tried to go to treatment, on your own would be better than being forced. I was a drinker and drug user since the age of 15 years old. I just now have decided to quit everything, because I did'nt want to wait for the courts or a judge to force me to. I think it made my life a lot better for me. I can't even think of how I used to stay up for days and nights to party. But, the fun has long been gone, so I wanted something better! I deserve something better, for my life. I am now 46 years old and I have been clean for 3 1/2 months now. The days were so hard at first, now there just better than ever before. I don't know why I never cleaned up sooner. So if your younger or older, it doesn't matter, no matter when you decide to do the best thing for yourself. It will get better, just hang in there and stay positive, like me! Thanks for listening, if you need to correspond let me know, when there's other people that care it helps. Deb Rincon

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