Ask Me Help Desk - A moe away case

Greetings,
I resde in Brooklyn, New York. My husband and I want and need to move to Georgia. Because of job opportunities, family support and clean peaceful air. I am a writer , author and mother. A few days ago, I settled a 3 year case with my children's father on joint custody (Initially I was going for sole legal custody) and I have physical custody of our two children.. My children's father is a successful muscian and we worked out a flexible visitation schedule for him. He is a NY resident but also has a house in L.A. where his fiancée and her daughter lives. My husband and I have a 1 year old son. We all are a happy family. My two children from my prior relationshp is willing to go wherever I am. My husband has a house that was inherited to him and a job opportunity in Georgia.
I have a child support proceeding coming up next. My ex want to pay 5200 a month. My lawyer and I want the minimum of 8500 a month. If my husband takes on the job in Jesup, Georgia, could I put in a petition to move and will it be awarded or must I stay in brookyn and worry about my children's safety. My ex can choose 3 weekends out of the month and 2 days out of a school week for his visitation. My ex travels often through his tours and going to his home in LA. I don't think it should be a problem for him to travel to Georgia. Sigh.
Please help me with some options. Thank you. From a dedicated mother, wife and author who needs peace to write, space to breathe and fresh air to fill.

Greetings,

My ex and I have two children together. At present my ex is paying 6800 in child support for the our children. My lawyer is asking for 9000 which the judge said I am entitled to. I live in New York and my chidlren's father is a successful hiphop artist. I have a child support proceeding coming up next week and my ex just hired a reputable and well known lawyer amongst the celebrities. (Retainer fee starting at 25,000). My lawyer isn't worried but I am and did research on my ex's lawyers background.

At this point all I have is receipts, bank statements and credit card bills which add up to about 8500.00. I am very worried and nervous. Do you have any helpful suggestions? P.S. My lawyer is putting in an application for my ex to pay my legal fees since he has prolonged my child support for 3 long years. Thank you .

Worried mother seeking proper support of her two kids.

Thank you for your speedy reply! Great site. I have visited Jesup Georgia and absolutely love it. Perhaps I could negotiate with the fatheron settling for his 5200 in child support payments if he okay it for me to move. This is so frustrating because my children's father is very controlling and arrogant at times. I kind of doubt if he agrees. At the same time, I don't want to be the reason my husband will miss out on his job opportunity as well. My children will be disappointed if we do not move. Any more helpful suggestions or answers?

Thank you for your input. I hope the judge will work out a child support arrangement according to his annual income taxes. I am also flexible with working out an arrangement with my children's father. He is a very difficult man but (sigh) I'll see what happens. Till then thank you and chat with you next week.

Hello,

I settled for a joint custody arrangement for my 2 children really wanting a sole custody. My attorney said it really doesn't matter but all the responsibility would fall on me. I have physical custody and have a child support proceeding coming up. If I went for sole custody would I be awarded the amount the children deserves or does it not matter because I have physical custody of the chidlren.

Also if I had sole custody would I be able to move away to another state while honoring my children's father's visitation? I live in Brooklyn, NY. Thank you.

Again, I live in NY. I am a self employed publisher and author but isn't' making that much money at this moment. My husband is working making 2000 a month. My children's father is paying me 6800 a month in child support. He wants to pay only 5200. The judge told us that according to his 2007 income taxes that I am entitled to bet. 8- 10,000 a month. Being that my children's father just last week hired an expensive and well known attorney who is known for winning childsupport cases, do you think any of this would change? Do you think his attorney would have the power to lower the child support I am receiving or is it solely up to the judge?

Again, I live in NY. I am a self employed publisher and author but isn't' making that much money at this moment. My husband is working making 2000 a month. My children's father is paying me 6800 a month in child support. He wants to pay only 5200. The judge told us that according to his 2007 income taxes that I am entitled to bet. 8- 10,000 a month. Being that my children's father just last week hired an expensive and well known attorney who is known for winning childsupport cases, do you think any of this would change? Do you think his attorney would have the power to lower the child support I am receiving now or is it solely up to the judge? I am very worried and I don't doubt my attorneys skills and knowledge but still I am worried. My children"s father paid his new lawyer 25,000 retainer fee. I thought no matter what he pays his lawyer, could his lawyer possibly change the decision the judge had ordered?

My lawyer told me my children's father wants to settle with me. he is willing to pay 5200 a month. my lawyer said no. Then he said he is willing to go no further than 6500 a month, plus pay 15,000 for my legal fees and cover the children's medical as well as help with their private schooling. At present, temporary order by the magistrate, he is paying 6800 a month. I dont want to be greedy, go to ttrial and lose. I do have receipts and such which makes up for 10,000. The magistrate said that according to his income taxes, i am entitled to recieving anywhere between 8-10 g's a month. I would prefer to between 7-8g's, not trying to drink his blood. I dont know if I should go ahead with trial being that he has a good lawyer or have faith in my lawyer and settle perhaps? I already settled for joint custody when I wanted sole custody. should i settle again to his terms or let the magistrate judge if we should go to trial? Thank you for your input.

I forgot to mention, I've been married for almost a year. May 25 will make a year. my husband makes 1800-2000 a month. How will his income affect what I will recieve in child support? thank you

we lost our civil relationship the moment i took him for child support 3 years ago. he is bitter and doesn't want to pay what the children deserves and want to make me suffer. I don't play games of spite, at the same time, I dont want to keep settling either.

yes, originally I got a temp. order of 6800. My ex wants to pay 5200. the judge said i am entitled to 8-10 g's, My lawyer suggested i settle for 6500-7gs a month. my ex will pay for my legal fees, childrens private school and medical. should i settle or see what the judge might say? would the judge also have him pay my legal fees? I've always gotten the short end of the stick when it came to my ex and I'd hate for it to be this time with child support.

gossip. I didn't know you guys talk about a concerned OP on their profile. i was very excited at first but I lost my enthusiasm for this site. I'll confer with my attorney or "whine" to my attorney about my concerns. Thank you for taking off your masks.
P.S. I am not bragging. I might be in my own world of concerns but guess what, I will think twice about asking miss twinkle and mr. frog. Thanks AMHD. Thought you guys were professional...

If your child custody order states you can not move without his permission, you will have to work out normally though mediation terms of how he can visit and /or have the children vixit him at his location.
So it may be you paying for the children to travel to him for extended stays during the summer.

So at this point is he willing to sign off for you to move if he is allowed the lower child support ?

And Jesup Georgia, you have been there right ?

First please do not keep starting a new thread, merely reply to your own question with any additional info.

Your posts will get answers for the next few weeks, and others will not view all the parts, so someone reading the last post first will have no idea what you are talking about.

I have merged your various posts and deleted all but one of my orgainal answers since the one fit best

Yes work out a deal with him, ** my opinion, your lawyer may have his own, and this is his ball park and his area of expertise. But you have to determine what is the most important for you, the money or the move and be willing to deal. Also with that said, your child support alone will put you in the top one percent of the income level in Jesup GA. I have grand kids in that area and it was one of those things if your kids don't get free lunches the other kids don't understand.

This could be a VERY difficult case because the father has so much visitation and an great lawyer. However, it is still the judge that makes the decisions if it comes down to it. In all the cases I have known when the custodial parent moves, the custodial parent also has to pay for travel expenses incured to get the child/children back and forth for the visitation. As already said if you are granted the move then visitation will probably change to longer summer and holiday visits and maybe a few weekends depending on the age of the children and how the judge wants to work it.

Will the children be kept at their standard of living on the 6500? Do you feel there is a need for more or not? Lawyers will go for the most they feel they can get... sometimes a good thing, sometimes not. Do you think asking for more would have an effect on your postdivorce relationship? How civil are you now? Do you think he would help out for unexpected finances for the children above and beyond the support if necessary? You might get more, but would there be a nonfinancial price to pay? If so, would it matter to you? Would it matter to the children? Does he stand a good chance of his financial situation improving in the future? Were you working while married? Would any retirement money come into play?
Personally, I would determine what was needed to support the children until they come of age so that they do not experience a dramatic decrease in their standard of living. I assume you are working if they are in school? I would rather try to establish a good postdivorce relationship for everyone involved... at least so that it remains civil, over an increase in support if it were to have the potential for causing serious issues afterwards.
Only you know what your relationship is like, what it could potentially be like, if that matters to you, and what your children's financial and emotional needs are. Difficult decision to make. I wish you well with it.

Ok, now I am confused... in the other post you said he was willing to pay 6500 a month? Did I read that correctly? But on this post you say he makes 1800-2000 a month... big difference!. :)

As I understand it, some people in the US have so much less then what you will getting. You want 7-8 grand and the lawyer is offering 8 -10 per month, nitwriter, you name is appropriate, you are nitpicking. Have faith in your lawyer, if you know him best, we don't.

Given the amount of money you will receive, what do you expect us to say ? Go for it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Ok, now I am confused.....in the other post you said he was willing to pay 6500 a month?? Did I read that correctly? But on this post you say he makes 1800-2000 a month......big difference!!............:)

In think there's a big difference between husband #1 and husband #2. She is talking about two different husbands.

>>>tickle agrees: I am sorry I really can't relate to this post with the amount of catastrophe happening daily, it is upsetting because some of that money could be going to children with a lot less, and you are talking about 'standard of living' for OP's children!

Yes, I agree... it is a lot of money, far more than most have... but that is beside the point. The law is such that if the money is there, the children will be kept at their standard of living.

nitewriter, why do they need private schools ? Are they compromised by medical conditions, is that why you are going for more money? If they are compromised I would agree with what you are asking for. Does your exp have medical insurance that would carry over to your children, if so, then that would be coverage enough without asking for a all this money. Sorry, I am still trying to justify what you are asking for and I know I shouldn't be, it is your business.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tickle

As I understand it, some people in the US have so much less then what you will getting. You want 7-8 grand and the lawyer is offering 8 -10 per month, nitwriter, you name is appropriate, you are nitpicking. Have faith in your lawyer, if you know him best, we dont.

Given the amount of money you will receive, what do you expect us to say ? Go for it.

I am concerned because this post keeps appearing in different forms on threads - there seems to be some need to continue to announce the dollar amount. I am reminded of the poster who shared the fact that he drove a BMW (apparently he thought he's the only one who does or has) in 90% of his posts.

And the question comes back to the same question - what should I do - and the answer is always the same - if you don't trust your Attorney, find another Attorney. Or ask your current husband for his advice and what he can live with.

I couldn't support Judy any more than I already do on this one. It wasn't that long ago that this same question was asked in a different way with the same amounts of money involved. And as said if you don't trust your attorney then get a different one.

So, what are we saying, the OP is a troll ?

The only thing I will add to this discussion is that if the OP continues to contest the settlement, and her ex is as spiteful as she says he is, and she is really interested in maintaining the kid's standard of living, the ex could turn around and sue for primary physical custody. Especially since the OP wants to move the family to a town where the median family income is 36K/year, according to the census data. That doesn't quite fit with "giving the kids the lifestyle they are accustomed to."

Tickle, I think you hit the nail on the head with this one. Quite frankly I for one am tired to death about being bragged to about 6800 a month for kids. It sounds like the OP needs to get a job and start living like the rest of us. She's the one who lives in a $2,000 apt with rats and mice, remember? Apparently she's too wrapped up in herself to pay attention to what we here at AMHD have to say. At least that's MY opinion. A lot of people don't make 6800 a month before taxes. I have no idea what and why she is whining about as she has an attorney to whine to.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nitewriter

yes, originally I got a temp. order of 6800. My ex wants to pay 5200. the judge said i am entitled to 8-10 g's, My lawyer suggested i settle for 6500-7gs a month. my ex will pay for my legal fees, childrens private school and medical. should i settle or see what the judge might say? would the judge also have him pay my legal fees? I've always gotten the short end of the stick when it came to my ex and I'd hate for it to be this time with child support.

This same question is posted on at least 2 threads - should be combined. Advice continues to be the same, no matter how many times posted.

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

Tickle, I think you hit the nail on the head with this one. Quite frankly I for one am tired to death about being bragged to about 6800 a month for kids. It sounds like the OP needs to get a job and start living like the rest of us. She's the one who lives in a $2,000 apt with rats and mice, remember? Apparently she's too wrapped up in herself to pay attention to what we here at AMHD have to say. At least that's MY opinion. A lot of people don't make 6800 a month before taxes. I have no idea what and why she is whining about as she has an attorney to whine to.

Just realized there is a second thread with this same info, same question - posted yesterday, immediately following this post.

I have merged the many posts on this same issue, actually I merged several last week, which is now also merged here also.

I also asked OP not to keep doing this, so if it happens again I will merely delete the newer questions

I also noted you just posted about trying to renew your lease for your duplex in NY, so are you now not moving?

Lady, you have all the earmarks of a troll. You are the neurotic, not us. We are only here to help people who really want help. You seem to "ding" anyone who disagrees with you. And no, I am not covetous of your money. I own my own home free and clear, I own my own car free and clear. I have no debts. I have a job that pays well. So why would I covet your "free" money? I for one am NOT materialistic and never have been. It is not necessary for me to "covet" your free money as I am quite happy not sucking money off anyone just because I have 2 kids and he's "a successful musician". I have been an independent woman for many years and proud of it. Apparently you have a cash register for a heart and money signs for eyes.

You can't decide WHAT you want to do. Move to Ga.; renew your lease, take your lawyer's advice, seek a trial, settle with no trial, etc etc.