Please help me to understand this. I had a good relationship with a great man for the past 11 years. Two weeks ago he said he was going camping with his friends and he needed to think about our relationship and what to do. He gave me a $4,000 ring in July of 2007 and now it is over. He has called me "his weakness" his "babygirl" and told me he loves me more than his own family. His reason for breaking up was that my personality and my demeanor stinks! He says I am always negative. I have gone through my mother's death, a loss of my business, a lost job, surgery just to name a few in the past 4 years. How could this person that loved me so much let me go and not care? Please help me. Also, he still has my pictures up in his home. I recently let myself in to check with an old key I had.
What does this mean?

Throw away the key, and do not contact him. Do not visit or call. If after eleven years he has a change of mind or heart, something is up. Whatever it is, leave him to handle it, by himself. Build you a life that you enjoy without him, as after 11 years and no solid commitment, (a ring doesn't count, actions do) you may not get one, and need a balanced life, for your own happiness, that only you are responsible for. I have no clue what he is up to.

For whatever reason he left you, you should not drown in it From reading your post you sound like a strong women having overcome anything you had to deal with in the last 4 years, maybe he could not handle it but did not know how to tell you but people change from the person you once knew. Some people been married for 20 or more years and get divorce and you wonder where it came from, but that's life and you live and learned. You should be careful going his house because it could have gone wrong and you can get arrested for it so throw the key out so you won't get tempted and stay strong Did he give you any sign that this would happen and maybe for closure you can find out exactly why but if he's not talking to you leave him alone.

So sorry for what you've been through dear.

I'm sure you know the phrases: 'for rich or poor', in sickness and in health, etc. Well, it sounds to me as if he does not think along those lines. Did he even support you in any manner through your recent trials?

While everything was all right - he was fine. When things got 'uncomfortable' for him, he was backing off. This is a weakness that some people have and cannot be changed. That's just the way life dealt you your cards. Good thing that you are not married to him because your human emotions from the loss of your mother, job and business are weaknesses to him, and being ill and having surgery is a big no-no. In other words, he is in a world where all must be perfect without the human factor in it. Console yourself with the fact that only a robot would make him happy and he really does not deserve you, as human as you are.

What it means is that he is a cold-hearted, unemotional and uncaring, self-centered individual and you should be glad that you found this out now. I know 11 years is a lot to invest and it hurts like heck, but you honestly deserve better.

Oh, and yes, definitely throw away that key.. you don't need to be hurt further. Trade the ring in and take a vacation.

Now, it is time to get angry, depressed a little, frustrated, and then start your healing process. I know it is easier said than done, and it will be a hard road but we will be here to help you get to the point where you can begin to gain strength and start living and enjoying things again - without the jerk.

Good luck dear, and stay with us.

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