Ask Me Help Desk - In love with two guys at the same time

Im in love with two guys at the same time,one used to be my boyfriend but we broke up due to distance issues but the feelings were still thea,I have a current boyfriend whom we'v gone out for 1 and half years,I do love him.We'v been meeting with da former boyfriend and actually made out twice with him,he says he wants me and I want him 2 but the problem is I have a boyfriend whom I love but I feel I cheat on because him with my former because the feelings are still thea,I once asked my current boyfriend for a break and I can't ask for it the second time because id told him I do not want the break,what do I do, I do not want to hurt my current boyfriend's feelings but I still love my former boyfriend,my current isn't working but the former is and earning.They both say they treasure and love me so much,my current boyfriend has proposed marriage(we are not engaged) that is he wants to marry me soon

Well I don't know hw to describe your situation
You say you are in love with two people
Well in in laymans words love could be something in which you want to be with that person always or your cannot live without him etc etc

Well I do have an opinion
You mentioned your current boyfriend is going to propose you but you already love your former b/f

By the way you mentioned that you asked your current 1 for a break it seems that you love your former boyfriend more

Does your current b/f knows about your love for your former 1.
Well if you want you can decide to choose one of them
U can tell the current one that I cannot forget the former b/f
Or
U can continue your relation with the current one

And forget the former

There is a third one too
Keep hanging with both your b/f
Whomever it works out with go for it with him
Don't take tension

Keep it cool and go with the flow as far as possible

U can actually do whatever you like it will matter to you only and don't worry if you leave either of them

Everybody has to grow up one day and move on with life.
Its just a matter of time

All the best
Viz

(I hope you read this as honest, and not just harsh. I really do think you should give yourself and these boys (and any other boys) a break and let you be who you are without having to lie about it. Being honest is always a good choice, even if you don't want to be faithful to only one person right now.)

You're mixing two issues here.

One - you can love many people at the same time. There's nothing odd about that at all. You're ability to love (or think you're in love, at least) is mostly out of your control anyway, isn't it? You can't turn it off and on, you don't actually DO anything to fall in love, it just happens. OK, we clear on that? Good.

Two - how to deal with loving more than one person. This is where you're losing it. This is not a problem with your guys. They are two completely different guys, each with good/bad, ups/downs.

No, the problem here is with your character. By that I mean you aren't exercising any sort of mature self-control. If you're going to make out with every guy you ever "love" regardless of whether you have a steady boyfriend or husband, then this is a problem with you.

If you don't have the ability to be faithful, and you may not at this point in your life, then try not to compound the problem with lying, cheating and self-serving rationalizing. Own this fact about yourself and make sure the guys you "love" know this is going on.

As long as you date guys who don't mind you fooling around with other guys, then there is no problem here. As an official "single" person, you can date/make out with as many guys as you want, can't you?

Just don't let the guys think you're being exclusive. Problem solved.

Someday you will mature enough to actually ignore feelings of attraction for others, at which point you'll be ready to take a stab at a committed single boy again.

JB writes,

Quote:

No, the problem here is with your character. By that I mean you aren't exercising any sort of mature self-control. If you're going to make out with every guy you ever "love" regardless of whether you have a steady boyfriend or husband, then this is a problem with you.

Quote:

If you don't have the ability to be faithful, and you may not at this point in your life, then try not to compound the problem with lying, cheating and self-serving rationalizing. Own this fact about yourself and make sure the guys you "love" know this is going on.

Had to spread the rep, but you are so right on. JB.

Canjema,

Leave them both alone, until you can make up your mind, as what your doing now is lying, and cheating, and no good can come from that. You must think your some type of player, at least recognize your being dishonest with them both, and thats not what good, healthy, caring, relationships are built on. Either way someone gets hurt by your actions and if it comes to light, you will be that one.