I am 36 weeks pregnant and I went to my appointment today and I asked the doctor if he was going to check how far I was dilated and he said no. I asked him why and he said the only time he will check is when I go into labour, he thinks doctors that check every week just waste their time. So how on earth do I know what is going on down there, I feel like Im in pain all the time. When I asked him how do I know if I am in real labour all he said was you'll know.

Is there another doctor in the office that may be willing to examine you? Just explain to your doc that you want it done just to know. If he is not willing, maybe you need to seek another opinion.

Well no I can't really ask anyone else in the office all the doctors think when they check a women it can start labour and cause infection. He says what's the point of knowing if your 2 cm dilated. It doesn't mean your in labour he said I can't induce either because people just ask for inductions and if it doesn't work then they need an
C -section. Is their anyway of finding out myself if I am dilated? Im frustrating.

He is partially right... if you are 2 cm you can stay 2cm for a long time, but I know my practitioner checked me whenever I asked, anytime after 35 weeks of course. Sorry, there is no way of finding out yourself, not only is it unsafe and can cause infection, you probably won't be able to reach because when you pregnant your cervix moves up and back a little and that combined with a big belly, it would not work... and again isn't safe. I wish that there was more I could do to help.

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Originally Posted by davejag

Well no I can't really ask anyone else in the office all the doctors think when they check a women it can start labour and cause infection. He says whats the point of knowing if your 2 cm dilated. It doesn't mean your in labour he said I can't induce either because people just ask for inductions and if it doesn't work then they need an
c -section. Is their anyway of finding out my self if I am dilated? Im frustrating.

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I know it is frustrating not knowing what changes might be happening, but your doctor really is correct. It doesn't mean much and there is little point in checking at this point. You'll know when you are in labor... it is a rare occurrence when someone doesn't. Although some midwives I have known will show people how to do self-exams, it really isn't recommended when you don't know what you are doing. Why take the chance of any problems if you don't have to? I know you really don't want to put yourself or baby in any unnecessary risk.
The waiting at the end is often hard... do try to keep busy, pamper yourself, take care of any last minute projects you would like to have done before baby arrives.

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Originally Posted by ang8318

He is partially right...if you are 2 cm you can stay 2cm for a long time, but I know my practitioner checked me whenever I asked, anytime after 35 weeks of course. Sorry, there is no way of finding out yourself, not only is it unsafe and can cause infection, you probably wont be able to reach because when you pregnant your cervix moves up and back a little and that combined with a big belly, it would not work...and again isn't safe. I wish that there was more I could do to help.

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Thank's it does help talking to you all, I know I am not by myself. I guess I am just afraid of not knowing when I go into labour.

I got like that towards the end of my pregnancy, it almost drove me CRAZY just waiting because I am a planner, I plan out my days and always have, so the uncertainty, I thought, was really going to put me over the edge. Hang in there, my doctor always told me that there is one sure thing about pregnancy... the baby will eventually come out! :)

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Originally Posted by ang8318

I got like that towards the end of my pregnancy, it almost drove me CRAZY just waiting because I am a planner, I plan out my days and always have, so the uncertainty, I thought, was really going to put me over the edge. Hang in there, my doctor always told me that there is one sure thing about pregnancy...the baby will eventually come out! :)

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Yes you hit the right note, I am such a planner as well plus my husband works 3 days out of the week out of town so that doesn't help. I feel like it is pushing me over the edge at the moment, I have had a hard pregnancy so I just can't wait. My girl friends keep telling me just try to self induce but I don't think any of that really works.

Just to add to what Doula said...

Checking your cervix can cause the release of certain hormones that can actually put you into labor. At 36 weeks you are too early yet to deliver.

Your doctor will check you in a few weeks when you are closer to delivery and when it is safer for you to go into labor.

Going into labor isn't just labor pains. You will know, instinctively, intuitively. When labor really begins, you won't need a doctor to check and see. Right now you are waiting, and it seems like it will never end. Just put up with the discomfort a little longer. This baby will be born. All the pain you have endured up to this point has prepared your body to deliver, and you will.

What do you mean by instinctively or intuitively? When I had the pain from the UTI that had travelled to my bladder, I thought I was in labor. The pain was so bad but it turned out it wasn't labor,so I think I'm just afraid of not knowing the different kind of pain that's all. I do understand that this baby has to stay in me for at least another 3 weeks, and if that means I have to be in a bit of pain I am totally okay with that. As long as my little baby is healthy I'll happy.

For most women, the pain of labor will either start in a pattern or will develop into one. You will likely feel like your abdomen is getting very tight and hard... may be a little uncomfortable at first, or may be pretty painful from the start. The key is that it will come and go... tighten and ease off... lasting maybe 30-40 seconds or so. You may feel it sporadically at first, possibly every 15-20 minutes, but progressively get closer, or they may be 3-5 minutes apart from the beginning. Some feel more of a backache, at first, that comes and goes, but with some sort of pattern.
With a UTI it tends to be more of a fairly constant ache or pain... often feeling stronger when you use the toilet. You will know the difference when labor starts... if you don't recognise it and know for sure in the beginning, you will before long.

Instinctively, hmmm. There is a psychic shift that you may feel. Like knowing that you have to go #2. It's more than feeling it, you just know.

Yes, labor "pains" feel almost like menstrual cramps. The same tendons that support the uterus are pulled when the uterus contracts. There are two in the front and one in the back, and the pulling can really hurt. Labor is different than menstruation because, as DoulaLC said, they stop and start. You get a break in between. When you are feeling "menstrual" but the pressure cleanly stops, then starts again, that is labor.

My doctor checked me at 36 weeks, but only because I had lost my mucus plug the night before I had that appointment. Other then that she would not have checked me until 39 weeks because she said it could cause an infection if checked too often. I was 3 cm 60% effaced and at +2 station, and I stayed like that for another two weeks until I got induced at 38 weeks (I got induced because of medical reasons). Who knows how long I would have stayed like that, on the morning I got I nduced I was still 3 cm but 80% effaced and still at +2 station. I didn't get to go into labor naturally, but the pitocin drip did not take effect right away. I received the drip at 10:30 in the morning but then I started feelingt he contractions at 3:30 and there was no mistaking them. But mine came so close together so fast so I can't really give you advice on what to look for at home. But they feel like very very very bad menstrual cramps mixed with belly cramping like when you eat something bad and it cramps your stomach so bad, mixed with severe tightening, you really WILL know when it's time. At first you will feel very uncomfortable and wonder "maybe this is it, maybe not" and then it lasts for a few seconds, then it stops completely and you feel prefectly fine. Then you feel uncomfortable again for a few econds and it stops for a few minutes and you're still questioning it. People tell me induced contractions hurt more then going into labor naturally, but I wouldn't know since this was my first baby.