Hi I have posted a couple questions already. About 6 days ago my husband of almost 2 years told me he felt like he would be happier being single. Now we have been together for almost 10 years. We have no children. Honestly we have never been with anyone other than each other. We are both 25. I had to leave due to the house being his fathers. I have had to keep myself occupied because I will go crazy. Now him on the other hand has been at home every night since this has happened. He and my brother work together and my brother says my husband looks rough. He has not mentioned a divorce he just said he needs to be alone. I am trying so hard not to bother him because I don't want to push him away any further. It has been almost 3 days since I have seen or spoken to him. I really want things to work out between the 2 of us. The times that I have seen him he has kissed me and told me he loves me. Just wanting some suggestions on what I should do.

cdbrown, gosh my heart was breaking just reading this. What has led up to all of this? This can't just be an out of the blue freeling, do you think he has been feeling this way for a long time? Have you guys had any "real" conversations about your true feelings? There has to be some reason for all of this...
Hang in there honey. It is obvious he doesn't want to hurt you, he loves you, maybe he just needs a bit of time to think about his "stuff"
Seriously, if you guys haven't talked about this, then you need to, ask him to come for dinner, or let you come over there to talk. Tell him there is no pressure and all you want is to listen to what he has to say. Don't get upset when he opens up and says things you don't like, let it all flow.
Good luck cd.

Let me just say this. You two are very young. We change as we get older. If you have been together for almost 10 years, that means you were both about 15 when you started dating. It is my opinion that you both need to get more "life" under your belts. Your dreams and ideals have changed since you were 15. Each person grows differently and usually in different directions. No matter how you look at it, it appears he is unhappy. Living that way is pure hell... I know. My first wife and I actually starting dating at 16 and we were married at 20. The next 13 years grew tougher and tougher each day. We grew apart because we didn't grow with the same dreams. Think about how he may feel and think to yourself, "Gee, how would I feel if I had to live this way? " And,, if you truly care for him and want the best for him AND yourself, it may be best to separate. I know it hurts but we all survive as hard as it seems. Good Luck

Handyman, you are so right. I agree. I say have a very open conversation with each other and let him tell you how he really feels, and then you can do the same. Then after some communication, you can start making some decisions as to what each of you think it is best to do. Hugs!

Thanks to both of you. I tried to sit down and have a nice talk with him. He just wouldn't open up to me. I am giving him his space and hope he realizes what he is losing.

You may want to write a letter. Don't beg him to come back, just a note of understanding, understanding of what you think he may be going through. What has happened that set this off?

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Originally Posted by startover22

You may want to write a letter. Don't beg him to come back, just a note of understanding, understanding of what you think he may be going through. What has happened that set this off?

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Thanks startover22. I actually saw my husband last night at our house. I had to go get some checks so I let him know and he said just wait on me to get there so I did. We had a good conversation for about an hour. He told me that he is still not ready for me to come home but he wanted me to know that he is not going to go out and cheat on me. He said if it were to happen that it would just be physical but that he is not going out looking for that. He just said he needed some space because he felt smoothered. He wants to be able to come and go as he please for a while. I feel a little bit better about the situation. I would still rather be at home with him. He told me that the whole week I have been gone that he hasn't gone anywhere so that makes me feel better. He said he does miss me. So I am going to keep praying and hope this ends soon.

CD Brown, Sorry this has happened to you. Stay busy & things will work out for the best for each of you. The streets sometimes 'calls' us out. By that I mean that single people make it seem as if they rule the world & they are living the best life ever. For some it may be true but I'm thinking the stories are tempting to him in addition to the lack of responsibility to someone else. Hang in there & wait it out--just don't sit around waiting, OK? Have some fun on your own in the meantime.

Thank you! I went out this weekend and I hated it. Don't see what the big deal is about being single. Every single guy that I have talked to says there is nothing fun about it because it is the same girls and they are all looking for the right one. I just hope and pray my husband sees that when and if he goes out and listens to everyone that is telling him how crazy he is for wanting to possibly mess up the best thing in his life. I am doing everything I know to stay busy. Thanks again!

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Originally Posted by cdbrown

Hi I have posted a couple questions already. .... The times that I have seen him he has kissed me and told me he loves me. Just wanting some suggestions on what I should do.

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I don't want to seem to be proselytizing. But I really believe that understanding the meaning of matrimony from a Christian perspective is the best medicine for any marriage. If you are willing to learn about it, let me know.

In the meantime, it sounds as though you love each other. I hope you love each other enough to dig down deep and struggle for your marriage.

Sincerely,

De Maria

Thank you. I know that I love him more than anything and I know he loves me too. I am just so afraid of him doing something stupid. Yes I would be interested in learning about it. I pray everyday to the lord to look after my husband and show him the way. I just hope it is back to me. You know I have either seen him for a minute or two or talked to him. I realize now that I must leave him alone for him to realize what he is losing. I just don't want anyone else at all. I gave him my heart and soul.

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Originally Posted by cdbrown

Thank you. I know that I love him more than anything and I know he loves me too. I am just so afraid of him doing something stupid. Yes I would be interested in learning about it. I pray everyday to the lord to look after my husband and show him the way. I just hope it is back to me. You know I have either seen him for a minute or two or talked to him. I realize now that I must leave him alone for him to realize what he is losing. I just don't want anyone else at all. I gave him my heart and soul.

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What a beautiful response CD. From your response, I believe I may be telling you something you already know.

CD, God is Love. What you share between your husband and yourself is God.

Most people enter a marriage believing that it is about them alone. Hardly do they give any consideration to God at all, except when they are in a problem.

Now please rest at ease in the arms of your Father. Continue your praying. Marriage is continual struggle, continual battle. You will rejoice when you are reunited.

The Church teaches us that marriage is not about continual happiness as life is not about continual happiness. Marriage is a living image of the love we have for God. Marriage is about faithfulness. Your love for your husband, so profoundly moving as you spoke it, "I gave him my heart and soul." It is an image of your love for God.

And our love for God does not come without trials. In order to be saved with God we must suffer with Him to the end:

Romans 8 17 And if sons, heirs also; heirs indeed of God, and joint heirs with Christ: yet so, if we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified with him.

And so, in order for you and your husband to save your marriage, you must suffer together to the end. This trial is one of your sufferings.

But remember:

John 16 21 A woman, when she is in labour, hath sorrow, because her hour is come; but when she hath brought forth the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.

And when you and your husband are reunited, you will also forget this pain.

May God bless you. Keep praying. I will also pray for you.

Sincerely,

De Maria

Thank you so much. You are a very good person to talk to. I am just really having a hard time not wanting to talk to my husband or thinking he is going to do something that will cause us not to get back together. He has told everyone he doesn't want a divorce and that we will more than likely get back together but I just don't know what to think anymore.

Thanks

I can only speak from my own (limited) experiences, here goes:

"Girlfriend, I'm tired of (this and that) !"

Reply: "If I were you, I would..."

DON'T TAKE THE BAIT from these folks!! If they were you, they would respond to the situation the same as you would, right? They have no clue as to what you need. Only YOU can master that. Those who can be helpful think on a higher level than this.

De Maria has wise advice. Listen & keep in touch.