A few months ago I was dumped by a married/seperated man. He was married at the time I met him but was very interested in me. I was basically over with my children's father and he was truly unhappily married with children as well(people that know him agreed). I decided to go out with him and we immediately clicked. We could not even believe how great we were together. His wife found out about me shortly after a few dates and he left and filed for divorce and bought another house to live in. Things were going great now that we didn't have to sneak around and it was a relief that our former significant others knew. We had an amazing 7 months together and he introduced me to everyone that was important to him, close friends and family. We had parties, dinner with his family and friends, a great Christmas, took trips or just rented a movie. I did and tried things his wife wouldn't do, not to impress him because I was into adventure myself (Not all sex related, more like his hobbies). He was always talking about making future plans with me, looked at rings (just to look but I picked one anyway), talked about where we would get married and move to. We were moving at an accelerated pace in our relationship but we did't care. The only thing we didn't do was intermix the kids just yet. We agreed it still may be too early to start being a "family" since the divorce wasn't final yet. He would always let me know that he loved me , tell me how beautiful I was, steal kisses, hold my hand, very affectionate! His wife did admit that she was the cause of tha affair by treating him the way she did for so long, and realized what she had after he was gone. She put a lot of pressure on him and used the kids to her advantage. I got the we need to talk line and shortly after, it was over out of nowhere. He would not even speak to me again. I do still love him and I never hurt so bad. I am frustrated that it is taking so l long to get over him and I need to find closure. He misled me to believe that we really had a future together and I need a tasteful way to throw a monkey wrench in his fake happy marriage! I will then feel better and less like a fool! Thanks for suggestions!!

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Originally Posted by Miss Priss 007

I need a tasteful way to throw a monkey wrench in his fake happy marriage! I will then feel better and less like a fool!

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There is no "tasteful" way, it's none of your business, and you won't feel better. He did you a favor. Give it up.

The best revenge is living well and showing that you are the bigger person. Do nothing! Live healthy and happily and that it'll eat away at him and make you feel a lot better.

The best thing you can do is forgive yourself, and take the lesson you have learned, and move on. Don't add stupid, to the mistakes you have already made. He isn't worth it.

That's why they say "what goes around comes around". This is a lesson learned and not to be repeated. Don't do anything foolish that would land you in jail, that a place you don't want to be. Be happy left you now and not years later or cheated on you. Now you know how the wife felt when he did it to her, I could image what her thought process was like. Just calm down and think things over and write a list of your pros and cons, to see it on paper, and write the outcomes of what can happen with your actions. There a whole lot of men in this world and don't let one turn your world upside down. I believe you said you have kids,don't know the ages, but spend time with them and soon you will heel. Also, seek counseling if needed.

Good luck!

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Originally Posted by Miss Priss 007

A few months ago I was dumped by a married/seperated man. He was married at the time I met him but was very interested in me. I was basically over with my childrens father and he was truly unhappily married with children as well(people that know him agreed). I decided to go out with him and we immediately clicked. We could not even believe how great we were together. His wife found out about me shortly after a few dates and he left and filed for divorce and bought another house to live in. Things were going great now that we didn't have to sneak around and it was a relief that our former significant others knew. We had an amazing 7 months together and he introduced me to everyone that was important to him, close friends and family. We had parties, dinner with his family and friends, a great Christmas, took trips or just rented a movie. I did and tried things his wife wouldn't do, not to impress him because I was into adventure myself (Not all sex related, more like his hobbies). He was always talking about making future plans with me, looked at rings (just to look but I picked one anyway), talked about where we would get married and move to. We were moving at an accelerated pace in our relationship but we did't care. The only thing we didn't do was intermix the kids just yet. We agreed it still may be too early to start being a "family" since the divorce wasn't final yet. He would always let me know that he loved me , tell me how beautiful I was, steal kisses, hold my hand, very affectionate! His wife did admit that she was the cause of tha affair by treating him the way she did for so long, and realized what she had after he was gone. She put alot of pressure on him and used the kids to her advantage. I got the we need to talk line and shortly after, it was over out of nowhere. He would not even speak to me again. I do still love him and I never hurt so bad. I am frustrated that it is taking so l long to get over him and I need to find closure. He misled me to believe that we really had a future together and I need a tasteful way to throw a monkey wrench in his fake happy marriage! I will then feel better and less like a fool! Thanks for suggestions!!!

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Dear Miss:
I have read your question over and over... I am going to suggest something that is probably going to make you mad, although that is not my intention. I don't think that your problem is your former married boyfriend. I think that the problem is in you. I think that you suffer from low self esteem... now hear me out before you get mad... you have to ask yourself what the real reason was that you dated a reasonably unatainable man? Was it because it gave you a sense of power, or excitement to "sneak" around? Was it to not make any real commitment to this person? I think that once you figure out what the real reasons are, then you can begin to heal. You need to consider the big picture... his wife is not your enemy, but rather a victim just like yourself. Chances are this guy is not worth your time anyway, because it sounds like he has issues of his own. People make choices... this is what happens in order for us to learn to BE better people. The choice you make now to be a better person, and to do the right things will make your path easier.We all make mistakes... just let this go, and consider it a move ahead, rather than back. Good luck!

You got involved in another persons marriage, it backfired and now you want revenge...

That's sick

Hey she wasn't the only one involved here. But please don't take it out on the wife, she's innocent! Good luck and by the way I saw on Mythbusters last week that sugar does nothing to a gas tank, but bleach.. . wow!! It's a cool episode :-)~

You've got to be kidding me.

Grow the hell up.

Relationships fail all the time. He most likely didn't know he was a weak p#!@y and changed his mind when he decided to try to honor his vows again. Damn him. And the kids.

So you got kicked to the curb. Welcome to the club. You pick yourself up and move on.

"tasteful revenge"?? Move on and live a great life without him. Anything else is 4th grade schoolyard BS.

All I want to add is, in your OP everything is "WE" this and "WE" that. There was never "WE" it was always him and his wife, while you were a side dish until those problems got worked out. There is a reason you never get involved with a married person and this is that reason. You don't need revenge, you just need to move on and accept you got burned. No shame in that, it happens to the best of us.

I was also involved with a married man for 8 yrs... 6 months ago, he left his wife and we moved in together, a few weeks ago, he went back to his wife... there is no tasteful revenge, speaking from experience, I know you're hurt and angry, but your best revenge is now thinking about yourself and doing all the things that make you happy in life... he isn't worth your time, he is a loser and just no good... don't waste any more time on him... think about yourself and find things in life that makes you happy... you are better off without him, just like I am better off without the loser...

A voice of experience...

I 'dated' a separated man with kids. The divorce papers were in the works and it was over. Over Christmas after his daughter said, "the best gift was having Dad home", he and his wife decided to try again for the kids. As soon as he told me, we both knew it was over between he and I.

Yes, it hurt like Hades. Yes, I think I loved him. Yes, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Yes, we clicked like I've never clicked with anyone else. BUT, you know what? He's married. He decided to try to make it work for the sake of his kids. That is honor. They're still "working it out" five months later.

So, bottom line... until the divorce papers are signed... he is off limits. No questions asked. No rationalizing. No ifs, ands, or buts. He's still married, he is being the awesome Dad that he is, and that is where he should be. I refuse to be the frosting, as should you. I want to be the whole cake - frosting and sprinkles.

These type of situations are when the head wins out over the heart. The right thing for you to do is say "C'est la vie", pick yourself up, dust off your knees, and move on. Your head knows that. Let your head have the victory in this one, sweetie.

Five months later I still think of him, but you know what? I'm happy and I know that I did the right thing.

As a wise (Tal) person once told me, "Never make a person a priority in your life when you are only an option in theirs." There's a lot of truth in that.

Move on. Move up. Learn your lesson. Take charge of your life. Get to know you again before you start looking for a single, available guy. Focus on those kids of yours. :)

If you truly love someone, you want them to be happy regardless the pain it causes you.

Since you're looking for revenge against a person you say you love---either you have issues, or you don't really love him.

Either way--grow up. He doesn't and didn't "belong" to you--you were trying to steal him from his wife, and she caught you, so she's working on repairing the damage from the break-in, and installing a better security system.

There is only ONE thing you can do: CUT ALL CONTACT. 100%

It is the best revenge and it is the sanest way to begin a new life.

Anything else would be a:

Mistake
Mistake
Mistake
Mistake

If you did something that caused him stress it will only cause you stress... Your need for revenge is a need for attention you simply must fight. The attention from a man who's tires you deflated, house you burn, wife you scorn, job you wreck, will give you a moment of glee but will leave you with bad karma and a bad sense of self. If you don't believe me, try it. I really wish it were not true, but getting him is just taking time away from healing yourself, and finding the right guy.