After 30 years of marriage my wife had an 2 yr affair. I know I wasn't the best husband but I need to move on and I can't. I still love her. All I can think about is being with her or beating the hell out of her lover. My daily emotions are all over the place, love, hate, depression, foolisness and almost everything between, and I am know for not being emotional. Its been 4 months since I moved out and I still can't talk about it without tearing up. I haven't cried since second grade. How can I move on?

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How can I move on?

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Is there a way for you to get some professional guidance through the grief/mourning process? Having been married more than 30 years, I can only imagine the trauma you must feel. Do you have family support, or kids? Click on the links in my signature for some good suggestions and let me know if they help.

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Originally Posted by Paul52

After 30 years of marriage my wife had an 2 yr affair. i know i wasn't the best husband

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Stop right there. Assuming you didn't cheat either, you sure were better then her.

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Originally Posted by Paul52

but i need to move on and I can't. I still love her.

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Give yourself some credit. You can't turn off love. You are also in shock and mourning. But you are dealing with something complete new and foreign to you. Don't beat yourself up for her shortcomings.

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Originally Posted by Paul52

All i can think about is being with her or beating the hell out of her lover.

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Yeah beating the hell out of him while little miss innocent did nothing wrong. While I'm not siding with him having a two year affair with your wife, I'm not willing to let her be painted as some innocent angel. She is not. What she did was disgusting, vile, selfish, and demeaning.

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Originally Posted by Paul52

My daily emotions are all over the place, love, hate, depression, foolisness and almost everything between, and i am know for not being emotional. its been 4 months since i moved out and i still can't talk about it without tearing up. I haven't cried since second grade. How can i move on?

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I recommend reading the getting over the ex material on the site. But after 30 years you owe it to yourself to seek a professional.

Being marry is an learning experience and nobody is perfect. You should cherish that your marriage lasted for the number of years it has, because marriage today don't even last for a year. To have your wife cheat on you and continue to have a 2 year affair behind your back donot reflect on you only how little she care about your vows your shared and you. And spending half your life with someone and having to start over is rough and seeing a professional is not bad because your able to vent and find ways to get you through this time and will make you stronger, but don't go after the guy because your miss your freedom while she out with the next guy. Not to get off the subject but if you was my brother I beat her a**. Also, I curious as to how you found out, but in the meantime keep your head up.