Okay, here I go.. Me and my ex boyfriend were together for four years, on and off.. We worked together for the first 2 years, then I got a better job.. to be honest with you.. I think we fought more than anything else.. I loved the company of him, him being around, I loved the good times.. Finally last year in May we broke up.. It all ended when I slapped him across the face.. The break up was all my fault, I feel like I drive him to it.. I always asked him the same question over and over again, why? I don't know.. I guess I was think too much, and worry.. After we broke up, we tried to talk to and keep it low key.. Finally I kept on texting him, saying some really harsh, horrible, mean things.. I kept on "texting" his house, wanting to talk to him, I guess in a way harassing him.. He got a new girlfriend ( I don't know if they are still together or not), and I kept on trying to talk to him, calling him, texting him, emailing him, and he would either not reply or not answer his phone, or tell me he wants me out of his life.. Even thought the break up and relationship was parcially my fault, I miss him.. I want him back, and I'm trying, but no answer.. what do I do? He was my FIRST love, we were going to get married, move in together and such.. I know there's things I need to change about myself, and I'm trying and willing.. I just want him back.. Want us to talk.. I think about him all the time.. but I don't know if he thinks about me..

I know you don't want to hear this, but what's best for you is probably to move on to bigger and better things. Don't waste any more of your time on this guy. By not talking to you and ignoring your calls, he's send clear signals that he doesn't want to talk to you. Because of the constant calls and texts, you've probably become the "crazy ex" in his eyes. The best thing you can do is just back off and work on building a happy life without him. Living well is the best revenge!

When you nag and act insecure it is a BIG turn off to a guy.
He doesn't want to be bothered with you. Your chasing after him even after he has moved on will only create a bigger distance. He could get you in trouble for stalking and harassing because he has told you enough times.
You need to learn to not seem so dependent on a guy to make you happy.
When a guy can see you are independent and not so needy emotionally one will come along.
In the meantime you will only drive them away.

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Originally Posted by Jillybeans

okay, here i go.. Me and my ex boyfriend were together for four years, on and off.. We worked together for the first 2 years, then i got a better job.. to be honest with you.. I think we fought more than anything else.. I loved the company of him, him being around, I loved the good times.. Finally last year in May we broke up.. It all ended when i slapped him across the face.. The break up was all my fault, i feel like i drive him to it.. I always asked him the same question over and over again, why? I don't know.. I guess i was think to much, and worry.. After we broke up, we tried to talk to and keep it low key.. Finally i kept on texting him, saying some really harsh, horrible, mean things.. I kept on "texting" his house, wanting to talk to him, i guess in a way harassing him.. He got a new girlfriend ( i dont know if they are still together or not), and i kept on trying to talk to him, calling him, texting him, emailing him, and he would either not reply or not answer his phone, or tell me he wants me out of his life.. Even thought the break up and relationship was partially my fault, i miss him.. I want him back, and im trying, but no answer.. what do I do? He was my FIRST love, we were gonna get married, move in together and such.. I know there's things i need to change about myself, and im trying and willing.. I just want him back.. Want us to talk.. I think about him all the time.. but i dunno if he thinks bout me..

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You slapped him across the face? I would tell him to stay way away from you. You have anger issues and are abusive and now you are bugging him. Leave him alone and get your temper under control. Maybe get some anger management counseling.

Does he think about you? Well, let's assume he does... and what does he remember? I bet you can pretty clearly paint the picture of what he remembers... he remembers exactly how you treated him.

You treated him badly because you wanted to. It was all about what you felt and you completely ignored him during those times. It was a type of selfishness that is very destructive, and it is very common, unfortunately.

Now that you want him back, I'm guessing it's just more selfishness. You don't really care how his life is or if he has someone now who is better for him, you want him back so you want him back and that's all there is to the discussion.

My best suggestion for you is to leave him alone until someone has helped you find the source of your selfish aggression towards him. Is it towards all men, or just the ones you love... or just him? Until you uncover and demolish that part of your character, you'll do bad things to him/whomever for any reason you choose, and that's not good. It's not good for them and it's not good for you.

You need to slay this dragon before you bring anyone in close again. If you REALLY want to get back together with him, then work on this FIRST so if you two ever do get close again, it won't be doomed at the start by this part of your character.

Good luck.