Right this is a long 1 sorry lol well I was with my boyfriend for 2 years we have a son together we recentley split up been 6 weeks now he has his own flat but was living with us in my house whenever we argued he used to go back to his flat I was always insecure about his flat as I never felt he was 100%with me or he would have gave it up to be with us.latley we have been arguing via text messages he says he's going to take me to court for custody of our son also grass me up as I have used a different name for a catalogue etc well 5 days before he was telling me he loved me wanted to be here how upset and lonely he was being up his flat on his own.I have agreed he takes our son every other day overnight etc he says he don't want to be a part time dad to him but is happy to take him when it suits him his phones been off for 3 days now I texted this morning to say if you are taking our son let me know have had a few delivery reports so he's received the texts but hasant replied or rang me.I miss him being here he used to do a lot around the house etc I love him but latley whenever were around each other there's just anger between the two of us which I don't know how to deal with as he knows what buttons to press.he came here last week 130 in the morning throwing stones up at my window so I ignored him woke the next morning to find a nasty letter on my doorstep.I feel he wants me to do all the running to beg him to come back and I'm wondering why he hasant tried to talk to me if he loves me like he says its been 6 weeks now and the longer this goes on the worse its going to get what do I do not contact him and wait for him to come to me or just cut all ties I really don't want to end it though as he's the best thing that's ever happened to me when its good its good were arguing more now he's not here than we ever did when he was as I say I want him back but am not prepared to do all the running as he's not meetng me half way.why so much anger between us?? advice needed please I'm all out thanks (my son needs to see his dad also)

You do know that spaces between sentences and a period now and then will make that large group of words a lot easier to read.

The two of you need to throw text phones away and do something silly, actually call and talk to the other one. Even better in person actually talk.

And do you really have a child ? How old are you two? Throwing rocks at your widow, ignoring him, leaving bad notes ,

I am sorry this is just a example of two people who have not learned to talk and to also just be honest about how they feel, Everyone is so busy acting like they are the tough one or can't let the other win.

He wants to use double standards and that right there is no way to have a relationship!
I am allowed to throw stones at your window at 1:30 am and leave a nasty note if you do not answer but if you call me I don't have to respond and nothing you can do about it or else you are in the wrong for treating me poorly.

Tell him to take you to court and get his days in writing and follow the orders to a T because if you let him have him at his convenience or trade days or give him extra days
It is going to be a horrible inconvenience on your part.
If he skips a visit NO making it up.

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Quote by Fr_Chuck,
You do know that spaces between sentences and a period now and then will make that large group of words a lot easier to read.

The two of you need to throw text phones away and do something silly, actually call and talk to the other one. Even better in person actually talk.

And do you really have a child ? How old are you two? Throwing rocks at your widow, ignoring him, leaving bad notes ,

I am sorry this is just a example of two people who have not learned to talk and to also just be honest about how they feel, Everyone is so busy acting like they are the tough one or can't let the other win.

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That's so true thank you for your advice :)

Hi we are both 31 I have 3 sons aged 11 4 and 11 months.

I was with my boyfriend 2 years we have a son together.well he's been gone now 8 weeks and up until the other day said he wanted to come back be a family etc then he goes to a solicitor telling them my son has a bad diet and basically I don't care for him properley they are talking about mediation I was in complete shock... so I said fine il get a solicitor etc he then the same night tells me he loves me wants to be a family etc again.so I sent him a text saying can we talk etc never got a reply then later that evening he says politley can my dad please come get reece tomorrow so I say yes fine... he then says that the min I said I liked someone else that's when he knew there was no going back he's also said that to me before so I texted back saying fine lets lay this to rest no more arguing that's it... when his dad came I gave him the last of his belongings to let him know that I know that's it we isn't ever going back... now I feel terrable have for weeks keep crying got a knot in my belly that's there constant I don't want to be without him but he won't talk to me he don't come round anymore its like he don't care when I know he does... and he's feeling the same way as I am what should I do even though I'm hurting just let him go or try to sort it out he's not meeting me half way though... everyone reckons he's playing games with me... like I should go begging can't concentrate on anything but have no choice but to get on with it as I also have a 4 year old son... shall I just wait see what happens or even though I'm hurting so bad call it a day?? he goes on about not being a part time dad to our son but sometimes he hasant even bothered I've tried to ring to ask if he wants to take him out... but sometimes his phones off for days... then he accuses me of not letting him see him... anyone any ideas as I'm so confused would appreciate your comments... thanks

I think letting the courts handle the legal details, such as support, and visitations, until you two can at least learn to be civil, and work together in your child's best interest, is a very good idea.

Yeah just all seems so final then... I feel he diddent love me to begin with to do that or even try to talk to me at least

Hi everyone not really sure where to start but here goes I split up with my ex boyfriend about 6 weeks ago ended really bad arguments everything he has called the social services on me several times without them following anything up he bad mouths me to everyone I know abuses me and brings up personal things such as being abused as a child etc which I confided in him he has got worse I was with him nearly 4 years on and off he calls me a bad parent a slapper without reason I have never cheated etc also he has heard I was seeing somebody who already had a girlfriend I haven't been with anyone since him,now the latest is he has a new girlfriend who is everything I'm not why feel the need to tell me and he's so happy he keeps saying I can't stand him anymore have just spent about 4 hours arguing on msn constant I need help to deal with distancing myself from him and his nastyness once and for all if he has a new girlfriend then he's obiousley moved on anyway although he says she's a social worker and has given him access to my files etc.if he has a new girlfriend then fine but my son will be in that inviroment also,so I'm at my wits end with him do we go bk to court?he also has my son from thurs-sat so hard not to see him atall with a nasty fowl atmosphere,just want to get on with my life without him in my face bringing past things up all the time he keeps saying he don't want me and don't care etc why waste time on me anyway.anyone give me any advice on what to do next I have a lot of friends to talk to etc just sometimes easier coming from a strangers point of view thanks in advance :confused:

You seem to be having the same problems as you had more than a year ago. That usually means neither of you has made the arrangements to stay away from each other and defined the relationship so the child benefits and is in a good environment.

That also means this is an issue for the courts to decide now, since the parents can't.

Very true thanks and yes its been going on a long time now :(((((