Okay so I used to have pretty bad habits having to do with self-mutilation and things of that nature and it had been about 8 months since the last time I did anything because I promised my friend I would stop and then a month later he committed suicide anyway it had been 8 months and then something someone said hit me harder than anything that I've heard in a long time and I cut into my leg the word 'freak' then I lied to my boyfrend about liking one of his friends and to him the most important thing in a relationship is trust so that hurt him really bad seriously I didn't know he had found out and then I just looked into his eyes and inside I started screaming and I could actually feel a blade pressing against my arm and tearing skin under my sweatshirt. Then that night I felt so bad that I hurt him like that I cut again.
Now it's a little better but it's still pretty visible and I know my parents have seen it but they haven't said a word about it. It's like they are pretending it's not there. And I know that they are because they have done things lke this before. So I'm asking does it mean something bad that they haven't said anything about it?

They probably just don't know how to react to the whole situation,you tried to kill yourself that would have hurt them just as much as it did you,your parents love you and are their for you to go to when you need help and you didn't.
They could be waiting for you to ask them for help,sounds daft because it's a serious situation,but they might not want to confront you about it,because they think it could make things worse.they won't know what to say because they haven't had to deal with something like this before and might be waiting for you to hold your hand out for help.everybody is different and some people reach out to family and some to friends [like you did] and some to strangers [help lines and groups that deal with self harm and suicide]

You need help to stop this,maybe seeing a counsellor and talking to your parents about it could help

Why do you do it? I'm not judging you I've been their myself
What feeling and thoughts are going round your head before you get the urge to cut?
Are you doing self harm to get your parents attention? If you are [im not saying you are]but there are other ways to go about getting it without all the cutting,blood and pain.talking to them would help,explain how you feel to them.

Try and keep your mind occupied before the urge over comes you
When you feel that urge,run down the stairs,out the front door and run down the road,the running will release a similar feeling to the cutting without the cuts and blood and pain it worked for me.I only did cutting for awhile,less than a year [thank god my cuts did not scar as bad as I thought they would]

You need to stop before its gets any worse,just think them scars will stay with you forever,you won't beable to wear short sleeved tops or skirts,you'll be paranoid that people will be looking at them all the time,you will have to live with them

They could be afraid that saying anything will push you to do it more.
Often rebellious teenagers will do the opposite to defy their parents and they could fear that.
Also often when it comes to family members many things are like the elephant in the living room that NOBODY will acknowledge often because they are in denial their own self.
Often when people feel something will cause conflict or feel powerless they will ignore it.
You need to get help to over come your cutting and you need to communicate with your boyfriend and resolve things. Cutting doesn't resolve anything.

Parents often don't know what to say or do. Why not go talk to them about it, and see if they can help you get professional help to deal with your problems

I've asked them for help though. I have asked to get a counsellor and they keep saying that they're going to set up the appointment and they never do. Plus I remember the last thing my mom said on the topic was "hannah i hope you know that therapy is very expencive." that just pissed me off because we have the money I know we do. They just still believe that God can make everything better. Not saying I hate religion it's just kind of hard to like when you had a religion that one you don't like and two you don't believe in shoved down your throat for your entire life.

And to answer cookie monster's question I get this voice that says either you messed up now punish yourself or you haven't done this in awhile you miss it don't you. And that voice just kind of convinces me to do it again. I will say one thing I'vew only cried once while I was cutting myself and that was because I felt guilty of what I had done earlier (also the reason I was cutting in the first place)

Are you still in school, if so, there are school councillors. ANd with the parents, sometimes, they just hope 'LITTLE' things will disappear on their own with out intervention. WHen they don't, the parents don't know what to do, so they just keep looking away while you bleed on the inside.
Nikki

Okay I talked to the counsellor and she said that she would call my parents and suggest that they put me into therapy or get me some form of help. And she did. My elementary school counsellor did the same thing. But when my current one called. They had my sister-in-law and a friend of theirs study the bible with me. (I don't believe in my parents religion the same religion as my sister-in-law and the other girl) my parents didn't even tell them why they were studying with me. Never told them that I cut myself. And I wasn't about to tell them

I don't know what religion your parents are practicing, but is it one of the religions that don't believe in medical intervention? If so, that could be why they don't want you to see a counsellor. This is important, and although I do believe in god, god helps those who help themselves, he is not going to heal this, that is up to you. It's sad that your parents think that a few prayers and studying the bible are going to do the trick.

You need professional help, and you obviously know that, that's the first step in healing, knowing that you need help. I don't know what to tell you, but keep talking to the school counsellor, if your parents refuse to get you the help you need then the school counsellor will have some resources that can force them to seek medical help for you.

Good Luck.

But they were completely fine when my aunt had to go to counsouling that was fine but when it's me their little showgirl it's the worst thing in the world. I say that I'm a showgirl because sometimes I feel like the only thing they view me as is a way to make their family look better. It makes them look like the perfect family. And that makes me sick

Still, you should talk to someone.

Yea I know my mom asked today if I still wanted to get therapy and I said yes. But then she started talking about how hard it can be to talk to your parents about problems going on in your life and then she asked me if I thought I would feel comfortable talking with my grandma and I'm like no because I can tell that the only reason she suggested her was because she knows my grandma will probably tell her if she finds anything out. So now I'm a little pissed