What do you do when all your life you search for someone to understand you and care for like no other and finally it happens? Your crazy laugh, outrageous antics, it doesn't matter, He likes you just the way you are. You wake up and realize omg, he's married. You guys couldn't be together if you wanted to. Sure you could fool around but there is no satisfaction in that. I find myself in this predicament and long to be with him more and more everyday. He feels the same way but neither of us wants to be hurt or hurt those who love us. Like our children, or his wife for that matter. What can I do?

Lost in Translation:(
Help!

I am in the same situation and the pain is horrible. I have reconnected with my first love from high school and we are both married to other people.

You talk about the connection you feel with him and the desire to not hurt other people, but by denying what you both feel you are hurting each other. It ends up being the worst predicament for everyone involved. Do you stay where you aren't blissfully happy so you won't hurt people or do you hurt those people rather than short change them the rest of your life.

I wish you the best and I hope you find your answers

First let me say If this person were the one then he would be available.
Second my suggestions is to run, run away fast before you get yourself in to deep and do something both of you regret and may ultimately ruin his marriage.
He is married So there should be no question as to what to do for either of you. He is off limits,totally.
Put yourself in the wife's shoes, the children's shoes. Spare yourself the pain of the constant rejection because his family comes first and spare him the pain of having to chose between you and his family. And for the love of God spare the wife and kids the pain of betrayal.

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What can I do?

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It would be my advice to you both, to read the stories of other mistresses, who as time goes by, end up hurt, frustrated, and miserable, AFTER they pursued these half a$$, part time relations, with married men. Yeah, its feel good all around for now, the sex, drama, and intrigue, romantic thoughts, when he is away, the anticipation of him finding time. All thrill, and exhilarate for now, but down the line, all that time you wasted to get a piece of the real thing, and the hard work, and the emotions you have invested, to end up with nothing, but wrinkles, and frown lines to show for it. Stop, and think, that for some crumbs now, you trade your soul, with nothing coming in the future.

HINT: They never leave the families, but do get younger versions of you.

I would say that you deserved better, but not at this time.

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Originally Posted by katnbran

What do you do when all your life you search for someone to understand you and care for like no other and finally it happens? Your crazy laugh, outrageous antics, it doesn't matter, He likes you just the way you are. You wake up and realize omg, he's married. You guys couldn't be together if you wanted to. Sure you could fool around but there is no satisfaction in that. I find myself in this predicament and long to be with him more and more everyday. He feels the same way but neither of us wants to be hurt or hurt those who love us. Like our children, or his wife for that matter. What can I do?

Lost in Translation:(
Help!!

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If it's real... and you both need each other to complete yourselves... and you know that you'll have to encounter other obsticales and you are ready to deal with that and know that you both want the same things out of life... Think with your head and not your heart... and pray

Carry a picture of his family and children around with you at all times. When you begin to foster these completely destructive and inappropriate feelings, take out the picture and look at it reminding yourself that you are the outsider, interloper, homewrecker, potential mistress... keep it up until the feeling passes.

You know, being a GOOD person is the only thing really worth working had at in your life. Do that.

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Originally Posted by katnbran

What do you do when all your life you search for someone to understand you and care for like no other and finally it happens? Your crazy laugh, outrageous antics, it doesn't matter, He likes you just the way you are. You wake up and realize omg, he's married. You guys couldn't be together if you wanted to. Sure you could fool around but there is no satisfaction in that. I find myself in this predicament and long to be with him more and more everyday. He feels the same way but neither of us wants to be hurt or hurt those who love us. Like our children, or his wife for that matter. What can I do?

Lost in Translation:(
Help!!

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You should stop it now. Staying with him will only keep him with his wife and you will never have him. Speaking from experience that I regret. You are giving him everything he does not have at home. So he has the best of both worlds. Why spend holidays alone. Please do not subject your children to that type of life. I know for a fact that they will love him too. There are very few mistresses that become wives to their lover.

If you leave him alone, he will have to decide. If you stay with him, there is no decision to be made. Be very very selfish. Let your life be about you and your children until you find your husband.

It won't work if you do it while he is in the marriage. She has all that you want, therfore, you will settle for the crumbs. You deserve more. Know that for yourself please.

Think it through every day. Let it eat at you until you leave him alone.

Mine got a divorce when I left him alone and then married someone else within two years.

Hope that helps.