Ask Me Help Desk - Boyfriend afraid of my parents.

Well I know this guy for 6 months now... & I fall in love with him... however he never proposed to me but confess that he likes me... but I don't know why he is afraid of my parents without any certain reason... every time I tell him that my parents are not that conservative or strict... but he just can't understand... probably this is the reason of his dealy in proposing me... I really love him... can anybody please tell me how to deal with situation??

I am reallt tensed & need your help... he is my first love and I don't want to loose him...

6 months is too early to be looking into marriage... THATS probably the reason he is delaying not because of your parents... Don't rush things - I'm sure you're both still young and have your entire lives ahead of you.. 12 months down the line if you are still together and you're still both happy then you can start even CONSIDERING marriage...
Expecting a proposal after 6 months is far too early and would scare most guys.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nickshehe

6 months is too early to be looking into marriage...THATS probably the reason he is delaying not because of your parents...Don't rush things - I'm sure you're both still young and have your entire lives ahead of you..12 months down the line if you are still together and you're still both happy then you can start even CONSIDERING marriage...
expecting a proposal after 6 months is far too early and would scare most guys.

Well you are taking this wrong... I am not talking about marriege... there is still time for all these... and I am just not thinking about it now... I am just saying that he is afraid of my parents... even if he calls me & mom picks up the phone he get tensed... that is what I am saying that he is afraid without any specific reason... I just want to make him feel comfortable with me & my family... so that we can start a steady relationship... please advice...

I only said that because you mentioned him proposing.. Anyway.
How old are the two of you?
I imagine you're still young if you're living with your parents still?
If that's the case then it's perfectly normal for your boyfriend to get nervous around your parents. Parents tend to be protective of their daughters(more so than sons) so as a guy , when you're going out with a girl its common to be a little bit uncomfortable around parents even at a younger age.
The only time I was ever comfortable with a girls parents is if THEY made an effort to make me comfortable around them.. So maybe you should talk to your parents and next time you invite him over, they ask him friendly questions or take an interest in him in a friendly way(not interrogation, because that will frighten him even more).But if as you say your parents aren't strict or conservative or whatever, I'm sure they would agree to that, and in time your boyfriend will feel a lot more comfortable around them and it won't be a problem anymore.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nickshehe

I only said that because you mentioned him proposing..Anyway.
How old are the two of you?
I imagine you're still young if you're living with your parents still?
If that's the case then it's perfectly normal for your boyfriend to get nervous around your parents. Parents tend to be protective of their daughters(more so than sons) so as a guy , when youre going out with a girl its common to be a little bit uncomfortable around parents even at a younger age.
The only time I was ever comfortable with a girls parents is if THEY made an effort to make me comfortable around them..So maybe you should talk to your parents and next time you invite him over, they ask him friendly questions or take an interest in him in a friendly way(not interrogation, because that will frighten him even more).But if as you say your parents aren't strict or conservative or whatever, I'm sure they would agree to that, and in time your boyfriend iwll feel alot more comfortable around them and it wont be a problem anymore.

Well I am 20 & he is 21-22... all right I will follow your advice... lets c what happens...

Quote:

Originally Posted by komalsinha

well i know this guy for 6 months now........& i fall in love with him...........however he never proposed to me but confess that he likes me...........but i dont know why he is afraid of my parents without any certain reason.......every time i tell him that my parents are not that conservative or strict..........but he just can't understand..........probably this is the reason of his dealy in proposing me........i really love him...........can anybody please tell me how to deal with situation????

i am reallt tensed & need your help..........he is my first love and i dont want to loose him..........

Hello dear. What I see here is your confusion. Maybe you are expecting too much too fast, whether your parents are conservative or strict, or easy-going.. in my opinion YOU are the one who is tense. No matter if in teens or twenties, it is not logical to expect a proposal within 6 months. Also, when asking a man to 'meet' the family, it is sending a signal (to most of them) that you expect him to integrate and accept you in his life forever. That kind of pressure is not what a guy expects when he is just getting to know you and like you first. He does not need to feel that he is invited into your 'nest' so that he can see how you eventually expect him to 'settle' down.

You are still young, and should be enjoying other places, events, entertainment, and just a safe neutral environment to get to know each other and talk about anything under the sun.

So, if you really like this guy, don't pressure him and don't place him in the center of your emotional universe so fast. If you keep this up, you might chase him away before you even get to know if you really have a future together.

Just remember that 'all good things come to those who wait' - and it certainly applies when it comes to building a relationship and growing together.

He might be the right one for you, but then again he might not.. it takes a lot of time once you get over the 'first love' feeling. We all had our first loves, but for some of us it was not meant to be our only love - that rarely happens anymore, no matter how much we wish it to happen.

Just go a little slower, dear and be patient. I wish you all the best, and keep us posted.

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Its only been 6 months, he barely knows you that well, let alone your folks. Give him more time, and let him ease into all this at his own pace. You both should be enjoying getting to know one another (I bet you are). You could see how he feels about Sunday dinner, talk to him, and your mom about it. Remember he may be scared, so don't push. I think this is sort of normal with a lot of young people.