Hello,

I broke up with my fiancée ~6 weeks ago (3 weeks since last contact) and I was hoping for some advice. I loved/still lover her to death and she always made me feel like I won the lottery with every moment I got to spend with her.

She had been going through a lot of external stress in her life (family problems, career etc... ) but we had been doing better than ever. She would constantly thank me for always being there for her. She was ecstatic about planning our wedding, getting her dress etc... She began to see a counselor last summer because of some depression issues.

In the 2-3 days before the final BU, she had what I would call a slight mental breakdown which required her to miss work and see her psychiatrist on an emergency visit. The night she moved out, she told me how much she loved me, how she needed to get fixed, and how she would come find me once she got better so we could be together again. She kept begging me to always be there for her if she needed me. She gave me a gigantic kiss goodbye and then was off. Her decision came as a complete shock to even her best girlfriends.

* 1 day after BU - Calls/emails me telling me how much I mean to her, and how none of this is related to me. Tells me/our mutual friends that she loves me more than I could ever possibly imagine. Tells me that her therapist wants her to remain on good terms with me, but that she shouldn't be in a relationship for like a year.

*1 week after BU - We speak on phone, I ask her for coffee. She says that she cannot because her feelings for me are still so strong
*2 weeks after BU - We spoke briefly, she tells mutual friends that she loves me, but can't marry me like she is, but also tells them things like "we wouldn't have worked out anyways because (insert trivial, very fixable reason)"
*3 weeks after BU - I sent her flowers with a note wishing her well/asking her to coffee. She calls me thanking me for them and was very happy to get them. When I mentioned the meeting for coffee part, she fairly angrily responds "This is not the time to even think about that, I still have not found a new job yet." I told her that I cared for her, and that I hope that she has a good life if we never speak again.

I haven't spoke with her in the 3 weeks since then. In those weeks, she has been going to bars/out dancing a lot with her friends. She is also now living with her parents who HATE me.

I don't know what to think. She seems to be contradictory as to what she is telling me. Any advice would be appreciated

Hey Brian,

My best bet would be to leave her alone just like she wanted.

She needs to continue seeing this physiatrist and work out her own problems before she can make any drastic changes in her life.

Why is/was it that she is depressed?

Basically, her parents (father really) is VERY controlling of her. Her psychologist basically told her that her father was the cause of her problems. She was making real progress until her father basically said that if she stays with me, they will never speak again (I don't do drugs, go to church regularly, and going for my MD etc... and most people say I am a great guy). She really has not/cannot make her own decisions in life even though she is 25. IDK if/when I should hold out hope that she will contact me at some point. Very confusing/weird bu

This ex fiancé of your is a grown woman who can make adult choices, am I not right?

If you are as good as you say you are then that should be enough for her.

She is 25.. not a teenager. I am quite convinced that she is having someone new.
It's obvious that she does not want to continue this relationship.
So it's time for you to end this chapter... and move on.

Good luck.

Thanks for the advice. I think I just need to move on from this whole thing. It is just very hard because it of the heartbreak I know she had when we broke up, and what she told me. She seems to have contradicted herself.

Everybody goes through a heart break at least once in their lives. And they all get through it.

Good luck Brian!

This sucks, and I truly hope you find someone who doesn't need fixing, and who appreciates a good guy. Don't waste time mourning this one. Celebrate your freedom.