Ask Me Help Desk - I don't want a break!

:confused: Me and my boyfriend have been dating for three months now and we never spent a day or night apart.. But Now these rumors are going around that he cheated on me which is causing us to argue all the time! I hate it so much but it got so bad that I mentioned a break and he agreed but I really never wanted a break and now we are taking a break from each other at least for a week at the most probably three... I don't know what to do and I don't know wheather or not this is good. Everyone that knows us says that we won't break up and he tells me he doesn't want to break up either but it's so hard to know if this will "make us or break us". I hate spending time apart from him but at the same time I think a little space will do us some good. He says that he wants to be with me and that I have his heart, there's no other girl for him and that we aren't going to break up but I want to know what you think.. Is he only doing this because I mentioned it first and hurt his feeling to where he cryed? Is he trying to hurt my feelings?:(

Did you confront him about the cheating rumors? Maybe he can explain? If not, then they are probably true.

First, stop believing rumors! Believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear. So right here, right now... Choose to believe him that he didn't cheat on you or choose to believe that he did. You're tearing at wounds that aren't even there.

Second, DO NOT use the break line unless you want it. Don't use it as a ploy to get him to beg you not to go. That's how it seems to have went, and when he agreed to it, it was like a slap in the face.

Third, you guys have only been dating 3 months and are arguing this much? You might want to re-evaluate the relationship. You say you never spent a day or night apart? That's not healthy at all, and also should have given you reason enough to believe he didn't cheat on you if he's with you all the time

If he wants you back then he will try to get you back! You should trust him until HE gives you a reason not to, not everyone else! Depending on who said the rumors, they could just be trying to break you up!

You should take your break, think this through, and call him after a week or so! Talk to him about why he wants/wanted the break and try to work it out! You should be able to tell if he wants to completely end this. Also mention that you never really wanted the break, you just thought he did! Maybe that will help if he was just hurt by you suggesting it!

Bottom line talk to him, tell him how you feel. The worst thing that can happen is he rejects you, and that may happen anyway, so why not try to clear the air.

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Me and my boyfriend have been dating for three months now and we never spent a day or night apart.. But Now these rumors are going around that he cheated on me which is causing us to argue all the time!

If your relationship is so easily shattered by rumors, then you need more than a break, you need a break up.

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I hate it so much but it got so bad that I mentioned a break and he agreed but I really never wanted a break and now we are taking a break from each other at least for a week at the most probably three... I don't know what to do and I don't know whether this is good

You needed a break, not only to let the emotional dust settle, but decide whether your going to believe rumors, or him.

Ok when the rumor came up I asked him then dropped it when he told me he didn't I also confronted Judy who was supposed to be my friend and she said no too. So then more people started telling me and of my friends cousin said he seen it, Then Judy's boyfriend said that she told him that she really did but it was when me and Isaac first started going out... I didn't believe it it's just that I had to ask but when I kept hearing it I asked again and that's when we started argueing. We argued for like 2 or 3 days straight out of three months.. But come to find out Judy's sister started the whole thing knowing it would get back to me by telling Raquel who had lisa tell me. But anyway it's a lot of drama that I could have ignored and stupidly chose not to. So do you think this time apart will help Isaac and I?

I hope it helps you, as he doesn't seem to have a problem.

I have a question because this can help put things better into focus.

How old are both of you.

If you are in your 20'sor older and have had other relationships it will be different than if you are in your teens and still in school.

I am going to assume the "16" in your name infers your age.

At that age there are a lot of immature peers that would be tempted to spread false rumours if for no other reason than a perceived slight, jealousy or just to be mean.

Having been through those stages of life a good while I can say most rumours that go around at that age are frequently distorted or are flat out lies... as you get older they never become totally factual but the percentage of spiteful comments does decrease dramatically.

If you are in your teens I do think a little time apart can be a good thing in that most times what is perceived as love is actually lust compounded with clinginess that most of the young as well as some adults are prione to.

If in fact your relationship is what you think it is then a small separation will not affect things... oh I'm not saying its not going to be painfull, it will be. But that is a sure sign of clinginess. Yeah that might not even be a real word but otherwise described as the desire to have them at no more than arms length at all times.

There is a lot a truth behind the saying, If you love someone set them free... because a person that really loves you will come back. Familiarity can confuse a person as to what is lust and what is love. As you get older you will understand that you don't have to be with the person you love every waking hour.

And a person that will stray the minute they are out of your line of sight isn't worth having. That applies to man or woman.

Don't take rumours as being fact... SOMETIMES they have a basis in fact but far more often than not they have no truth to them at all. And the younger the group the less often there is any truth.

And something that's extremely important to remember. What you think you want in your teens is very rarely what you will want once you have matured. And yes the difference between 16 and say 20 is far more than the differnce between 20 and 24 even though the chronological difference is the same. People change as they mature... some more than others, but everyone does. Small seperations when things get this heated help you regain your focus. Something you can't do when your entire life revolves around that other person.

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Originally Posted by Haylow_16

:confused: Me and my boyfriend have been dating for three months now and we never spent a day or night apart.. But Now these rumors are going around that he cheated on me which is causing us to argue all the time! I hate it so much but it got so bad that i mentioned a break and he agreed but i really never wanted a break and now we are taking a break from eachother at least for a week at the most probably three... I don't know what to do and i don't know wheather or not this is good. Everyone that knows us says that we won't break up and he tells me he doesn't want to break up either but it's so hard to know if this will "make us or break us". I hate spending time apart from him but at the same time I think a little space will do us some good. He says that he wants to be with me and that i have his heart, there's no other girl for him and that we aren't gonna break up but i want to know what you think.. Is he only doing this because i mentioned it first and hurt his feeling to where he cryed? Is he trying to hurt my feelings?:(

A break can be a good thing whether it works out in your favor or not. If a relationship is meant to be it will be if not then it won't. Don't dwell on it too much and stop bringing up these rumors. There only causing arguments. Keep in touch with you significant other and be his friend. Stop trying to rush things.