Ok... to start with Ill give the basics. I live in NY. My daughter and her mother live in OK. Im 22 and a full-time student at the moment and my wife is 29 and... well she goes from guy to guy to get her rent paid. Not officially of course. In the 8 months I've been gone she has been with 6 guys long enough to have them move in and pay the bills. Then they realize she is nuts... leave and she goes to the bar and hooks another before her bills catch up with her.

OK I was military... which is how I got a girl from OK. Also why they are in OK and I'm in NY since NY is my hometown. She will NOT let me have her for any amount of time. Ive even tried to work with her to have my baby girl over the summer. She won't go for it.

A) I want to know what I can do legally to be able to force her to let me have my daughter during breaks and so on. And B) if that is not possible I want to know what I can do to get my daughter all the time. My HUGE family has told me over and over they would have no problem helping me with her and in fact they proved it to me when they took in my daughter, me , my wife and my stepdaughter in over a year ago. Only reason we left is because they got sick of the cops having to be called on my wife and sick of their stuff getting broken during her tempers.

If you need any other info... Ill gladly give it. I just need to know what I should do from here on in. Thanks for the help.

Bill

Contact a lawyer

Have your lawyer file court papers to give you visitation, and you could go for full custody based on the mother's life style.

She has to let you have the child for visitation on what ever your written visitation agreement says. When you got divorced and went to court, you should have gotten a 1. divorce agreement, property settlement
2. child custody agreement , visitation agreement and child support agreement

If you do not like the visitation agreement, you get an attorney and re-file for admended visitation agreement. If you want custody, you file in court for custody.

If you have visitation and she will not honor it, you take her back to court and see if they judge will find her in contempt for not letting you have the child.

Im sorry fr chuck that I wasn't more specific. I haven't been able to afford a divorce yet. She messed with my finances REALLY bad. One of the ways she got me kicked out of the military. Once she got ahold of my social security number it was over. The worst is that I have no proof. Just my word vs hers. The other problem is this: Do I need to get a lawyer in OK... or will a lawyer in NY be OK? My daughter was born in OK and we were married in OK BUT I was a legal resident of NY at the time since I was in the military and last year we filed our taxes jointly in NY. Also, is there any way you can tell me about how much this will cost me... who to go to... and what my chances are? She is a rather good manipulator... what kind of evidence should I bring to court. All this stuff may be able to be solved by a lawyer which brings me back to my last question about which lawyer you guys recommend. For divorce AND custody.

Thanks again you guys,
Bill

Where were the "three" of you living ( that you can prove) as man and wife at the time you separated. Normally this location is where the divorce will take place. ( do'n't hold me to that one 100 percent, I have been out of the divorce court loop for a while)

But you need to file ( at this point you are the legal father, and actually you could walk into her house take your child and go back to NY and she can't do nohting to stop you) You have just as much legal right to have her as your wife does.

So you need to first talk to a lawyer, they may not be the one you hire but they will tell you for sure which way to file.

Next file, divorce, file for full custody of the child with her paying you child support, Sell your blood, borry money what ever it takes to afford this,

Thank you so very much for your help Fr Chuck. You have no idea how much its appreciated. And the quick responses. Ill make sure to do as you say and talk to a lawyer and move on with this. Ill keep you updated through this thread as to what happens. Also, a real quick answer to one of your questions. AFter I got out of the military we moved in with My sister (a paramedic) and her husband(also a paramedic) and they put about 3 grand into their basement to make it livable for us. It was amazing. However, after she got herself kicked out she was going to go to OK and take my daughter with her. This upset me greatly and so I made a stupid move and moved with her. We lived with the father of one of her other two kids (the father of the stepdaughter mentioned earlier) and when our taxes came in decided to put them into a down payment on a car to get ourselves back on our feet. While at the car dealership she made a big scene and I took 100 dollars and moved in with a military friend. I grabbed a job as a waiter and a sales associate and tried to get back on my feet on my own. I still saw Jett (my daughter) whenever I could and bought her necessities for her. Crystal (my wife) eventually got ahold of my account and drained it at a VERY bad time because my friend just told me he was being deployed to Florida... great deployment by the way lol... but because of that he was giving up his appt. So with no money, cause crystal unloaded on my account, and no place to go in OK I moved back with my sister in June of 2005. Now I'm going for my computer science bachelors so I have the degree to back up my experience. Don't mean to get all into detail... but hey people need to vent at times :-P. Hope this info might be able to help you a little bit more.
Thanks again,

Bill

Well I wasn't sure if an edit would come up as a re-post so I thought id post this really quick so it would show up really quick.

Bill