How do I deal with the loss of my father? He passed away n March 23,2008. It was all of a sudden. My husband says that I'm in denile, but I told him that I'm not. I know where he is, I realize that it has happened, so what's wrong with me? Am I over him already? I find myself crying all the time, and I don't know how to deal with it. I work so that keeps my mind occupied so I won't think about it, but when I hear a song on the radio that reminds me of him I want to cry,but I can't . Is that a bad thing?

No, dear heart, it is not a bad thing. It is very normal.

I lost my Dad four years ago to cancer and believe me, there are still some songs on the radio that I can't listen to.

The best way that I can tell you to cope (don't let anyone tell you that you need to "get over it") is to go by my Ten Minute Rule.

Basically, you have ten minutes every day to mourn for your Dad. Ten minutes to cry, scream, weep, look at pictures, yell, sing at the top of your lungs, whatever you need to do. Ten minutes to celebrate his life - who he was, what he did for you, how he affected your life, etc. Ten minutes.

But each day, you need to set a time. For me? Its 4:30. Every day, I have ten minutes. I don't use it every day, but its always there. Some days are better than others, sometimes I'll go for weeks and not need to use my ten minutes, some days, I can't wait till they come and live for them. But knowing that they are there is so helpful.

Take the ten minutes and cry. Then, when they are over, you pick yourself up, wipe your eyes, fix your make up, and go on. You can make it to the next day's ten minutes.

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this hurt. I have been there. I am still there. I haven't ever gotten over it because he was my hero, my best friend, my Daddy. But he is still affecting me - because he has made me into who I am... I am a living testament to his greatness.

As are you.

Use my Ten Minute Rule. It will help. Much love, dear.

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Originally Posted by bradysmama17

How do I deal with the loss of my father? He passed away n March 23,2008. It was all of a sudden. My husband says that I'm in denile, but I told him that I'm not. I know where he is, I realize that it has happened, so whats wrong with me? Am I over him already? I find myself crying all the time, and I don't know how to deal with it. I work so that keeps my mind occupied so I won't think about it, but when I hear a song on the radio that reminds me of him I want to cry,but I can't . Is that a bad thing?

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Dearheart, I am with you in your time of sorrow. The inevitable comes at times sooner than we anticipate. A parent means everything to a caring son or daughter for it is they who have given you life. While it is the mother who carries you for nine months right under her heart, the father sustains much in the process of raising a child. That Love cannot ever be broken and is one reason why I do not believe in "closure". There is never closure where a close Loved one is concerned. Grieving is a very personal thing for most people. There is no set time for grieving to cease as it all depends on how much Love the heart is holding and how many raindrops from the heart need to be used to water the wonderful memories that exist.

You are sentimental because God gave you a wonderful heart even though you may not want to exacerbate the situation by outwardly showing too much emotion. Many do not have such a heart and wish they did. But know that truly your father is not "dead". He is very much alive in his new spiritual body and will await your arrival at your appointed time. Passing on is an important part of life contrary to many an opinion. When the sun rises it must also set but that is only an indication of a beautiful tomorrow that awaits you. You are Loved by your father very much but because only his physical body is gone, he does not want you to greive so hard that you would make yourself ill. It hurts him too when you grieve excessively. It is always the most difficult to accept a parent's passing. Know that some people still speak to their parents although they have been gone for a very long time. They can hear us in Heaven! Suppressing the emotions, it has been said, is also not so good for one. That is why God gave us eyes and tear ducts. So, when you hear a song that reminds you of your dad, know that he may very well be right there with you trying to tell you that he is all right now and to not worry. Time on this Earth is short and one day we will all be with our Loved ones where we can celebrate life all over again because the next time it is Eternal! May God bless you and send his most Holy angels to surround and embrace you with their wings.

We each grieve differently, and it has only been a short time, so cry if you need to.

It takes time. I lost my parents when I was ten, and I still miss and grieve for them. Its hard. I'm not going to lie. But with time, ( I know its said all of the time) However its true. You just have to take it one day at a time