I'm 19 and my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me. We lost our viginity together. She wanted to take a break and that same night she had sex with another guy. Ever since all of this has happened I've seemed to kind of lose my sex drive. I'm worried about that next person, or if my ex and I ever reconsile if I will be able to make love to her again. Just wondering if anyone had any tips or advice to moving on sexually.

I'm assuming that the only reason that you're losing your "mojo" is because you're emotionally down. Once you get over the ex, you'll get your mojo back... just work on getting over your ex and focusing on yourself, the rest will follow suit.

Yes, interest in the next girl will bring it all back.

Depression and stress can kill libido.

Can the baggage of a past relationship affect the next one in the bedroom? Sure. You still need to be able to trust that person, and the previous mate has caused you some real pain by her actions.

Can you reconcile and have a good life with her in the bedroom? Lots of hurdles to overcome there. Some people can reconcile with a mate that cheated (even though you were broken up, and she had the full "right" to do it, it still is lousy that it went down that way)... and some cant. Usually comes down to fixing whatever was wrong or caused the breakup and also forgiving any indisretions.

Look... I was miserable after my first big love was lost. She wanted to date another guy, and still wanted me as a friend. Tried it. It sucked. I finally got a clue and left that noise alone. Not sorry I never looked back... and wed dated 7 years. But there was a lot of bad nights between walking away from her and finding some balance.

Get pi$$ed. This didn't just happen. Shed been thinking about the break and thinking about what the freedoms could mean. I can't tell you she was wrong for wanting out, since clearly she wasn't all in the relationship... if she's that distracted and distant, she needed out. But that doesn't mean anything she did was right for you. She's not acting in your best interests, so its up to you to do that.

So, to try to stay on topic... don't worry that this is going to screw you over for forever. Having had two huge loves cheat on me, I'm still able to trust my wife when she's out with the guys from work or across the ocean on a biz trip. Sure... I still have some hangups from the past... I just deal with them better over time.

You will too.

And stop fretting about libido. It'll come back.

Once you have gotten over your ex, and can move on a have a great time with others, you'll get that ole' feeling back. Right now just heal, and give yourself time.

A blow like you suffered can cause a situational depression, hence temporary impotency.

The BEST thing you can do is to talk your emotions out with a therapist... any emotions held in can cause you a lot of trouble in your future life.

It is hard for you to understand from your viewpoint, but working through life's blows is the groundwork for wisdom and future happiness. :)

Don't run away from your heartbreak, don't retreat into your head... talk out your feelings. :)

Best wishes to you,

When you get passed the initial hurt of this situation(aren't woemn cruel?), you will be fine. The first broken heart is sometimes the worst but you will be fine. Some fine lady is going to come along and you will be a new man!!

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Originally Posted by classicrocker

im 19 and my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me. we lost our viginity together. She wanted to take a break and that same night she had sex with another guy. ever since all of this has happened ive seemed to kind of lose my sex drive. im worried about that next person, or if my ex and i ever reconsile if i will be able to make love to her again. Just wondering if anyone had any tips or advice to moving on sexually.

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TRUST ME you'll be able to get it up for the next girl. It'll just take several months to stop thinking about your ex. Don't bother with someone that says they want a break after nailing some other guy, honestly.