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-   -   My cousin is messing up her life (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=208542)

  • Apr 22, 2008, 03:21 PM
    meche011
    My cousin is messing up her life
    Ok my cousin is 14 she is so boy crazy (something I am not) and tends to not care about school. Next year will be high school and her parents want her to apply to an all girl school (where I had previously gone) and they want me to help out. But the problem is this ninth grade she will go to a neighborhood that well isn't the best school around and I am wondering should I leave the school I am at (#1 high school in the US) or stay put and help her there. Ive known her all my life and love her to death but sometimes I think she doesn't care and it hurts me. Should I even try?:confused:
  • Apr 22, 2008, 03:43 PM
    Alty
    You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Just be her friend, listen to her and try and talk to her about what she's doing wrong (don't sound judgemental).

    You shouldn't have to change schools or your life just to help someone else out. You're young too, you have to think about your future.

    Her parents are responsible for helping her, and she's responsible for helping yourself, you are not responsible, you have your own life to think about.

    Take care.
  • Apr 22, 2008, 04:07 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    You changing schools will do nothing but hurt you. You can help her by being her friend and try and explain what is proper behavior, but you can not force someone to change and do something they don't want to do.
  • Apr 22, 2008, 10:45 PM
    nirvanafannz
    I concur with the first two users in that: You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Just be her friend, listen to her and try and talk to her about what she's doing wrong (don't sound judgemental) and you can not force someone to change and do something they don't want to do.
    Let her know that you are there for her, to talk to, to hang out with, for support. If she is boy crazy, really, it's probably because of her age, it seems to be typical of what happens around 14. Don't change schools! If you being at that school benefits you, you stay there. You can always see your cousin, phone her and ask her how she is, text her etc. Make sure you tell her you love her and are always there no matter what. And she probably does love you and care for you but just doesn't show you. Help her but make sure you take care of yourself

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