I joined this new company in Nov 2007. We are colleagues but I'll be leaving this company next week. I started to go out with her since Jan 2008 when she told me she not in relationship.

We felt like we were made for each other as we understand each other so well and our love blossomed so fast. We were able to talk so freely and openly and could even know what the other person is thinking even without saying.

Then when I found out she was still living with the ex about 2 months ago, she agreed to move in with me to completely wipe off the past. She moved in with me about 1 month ago, we were so happily loving each other.

Then all of sudden, I found out she still in contacts with the ex and she even admitted still missing him. After the 1st round of talk, she agree to forget him and will not hide from me anything. But 2 weeks ago, their relationship grew back stronger and the ex even propose to her via phone and MMS. So I talked to her again and asked her to make a final decision.

She was back in hometown last weekend and promised to give me an answer yesterday. So last night, she told me she will go back to the ex. Apparently the ex went over to see her and proposed again and they patched up.

So last night I did asked her is there anything I can do to make her change her mind, she never answer me. We cried in each other arms and she confessed still love me and in fact never before love someone so strongly in such short time. I did beg her not to go but she never answer.

So now she will only move out from my place this coming weekend back to the ex. I wonder how she can still sleep with me when she already let go of me. Furthermore we still have sex wonderfully.

I am really confused and hurt. I know I should be leaving her and forget about her since her heart is not with me. But the fact that I could still feel her love for me makes me even more hurtful. Please anyone, please tell me what should I do :(

This sounds horrible my friend. I'm sorry but you just sounded like a rebound try out guy.. to get her mind off her EX or to make him jelouse she had other motives for actions..

She is totally using you man. You really need to leave her, she is no good for you. Sounds young and just doesn't know what she really wants


I Doubt anyone on here is going to say oh she sounds great for you.

Your better than this,

I hope you feel better

Regards

I hope you right so I can easily forget her but I really don't believe she was with me just to play tricks, furthermore I could feel she really love me. I really do not want to judge her because I love her too much. I am 31 and she is 28 but she is going back to the ex which is 39, probably like she said, he has more stable income, house and nicer car. But Im also working, also have a normal car and my house is to be ready soon. Im not a useless prick that won't be able to provide her a comfortable life...

Chuck her, sorry for that harsh answer but she is not worth it and she is not to be trusted. She sounds superficial ( he has nice car, more income and a house). Dude what are you thinking, if she loved you like she said she does then she would be with you despite the stuff you have not got yet. Remember love goes through the tough and the good times. You deserve someone better. Hope this helps!

Don't feel sorry for yourself.. Rebounds aren't really out of spite.. people do them naturally without thinking in order to try and overcome a past relationship or try something new immediately after one.. Sometimes it can result into a proper relationship down the line(rarely in my experience) and other times 1-2-3 months down the line the one who pursued the rebound decides it wasn't a good idea after all...
It seems that this was the second case.. what you have to do now is forget her.. be angry at what she did to you and use that anger to build up your inner strength and avoid contact with her.. You're already blaming this on yourself, thinking that your car wasn't enough for her or your house or your job.. this had NOTHING to do with it..
You deserve better than this man. It's not your fault - she was being selfish when she went into a relationship with you, and she is being selfish now, she has disregarded you from day 1 till today.. This isn't someone you want to spend your life with.

What do you do? You get mad. You've only known her since November... 5 months. And you've only been with her since January. And you found out she's been deceitful and living with her ex. Basically she duped the both of you. If someone can be that cruel during the first 3 months of a relationship... THE HONEYMOON STAGE... how's it going to be when the newness wears off?

This is why we go slow, to look for red flags and not be blinded by "in love." Regardless, I know it still hurts. But please move a little slower next time, that way it won't rip you a part as bad.

I think it's a good thing you are getting another job. Here's to new beginnings!

Quote:

---

please tell me what should I do :(

---

You went in with blinders on and gave your heart away without question, and got it handed back to you.

Quote:

---

she was still living with the ex about 2 months ago,

---

Instead of being mad because she LIED, you reward her with moving in with you. That in itself should have shown you how illogical it was to trust her with your heart. Move on from this, and never look back, but never forget the lessons you learned.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by thoseeyes

I joined this new company in Nov 2007. We are colleagues but I'll be leaving this company next week. I started to go out with her since Jan 2008 when she told me she not in relationship.

We felt like we were made for each other as we understand each other so well and our love blossomed so fast. We were able to talk so freely and openly and could even know what the other person is thinking even without saying.

Then when I found out she was still living with the ex about 2 months ago, she agreed to move in with me to completely wipe off the past. She moved in with me about 1 month ago, we were so happily loving each other.

Then all of sudden, I found out she still in contacts with the ex and she even admitted still missing him. After the 1st round of talk, she agree to forget him and will not hide from me anything. But 2 weeks ago, their relationship grew back stronger and the ex even propose to her via phone and MMS. So I talked to her again and asked her to make a final decision.

She was back in hometown last weekend and promised to give me an answer yesterday. So last night, she told me she will go back to the ex. Apparently the ex went over to see her and proposed again and they patched up.

So last night I did asked her is there anything I can do to make her change her mind, she never answer me. We cried in each other arms and she confessed still love me and in fact never before love someone so strongly in such short time. I did beg her not to go but she never answer.

So now she will only move out from my place this coming weekend back to the ex. I wonder how she can still sleep with me when she already let go of me. Furthermore we still have sex wonderfully.

I am really confused and hurt. I know I should be leaving her and forget about her since her heart is not with me. But the fact that I could still feel her love for me makes me even more hurtful. Please anyone, please tell me what should I do :(

---

dukk dat

If you think it's painful now, imagine what it would have been like if she'd done this a few months down the road. Imagine if she'd done this while you were engaged. Or after you were married.

Maybe you just dodged a bigger bullet than you realize.

Thanks all for the advice and concern,

I really appreciate all of you advising me on the cruel n harsh but realistic perspective.

After 2 days of still seeing each other round the clock and sleeping together, after I try to pursue my case in many ways, now I managed to make her think again on her decision. She still showing her love to me, we still act like a couple, still kiss and hug each other, simply because she still don't know whether leaving me is a good choice. She still says that leaving me is difficult and she knows that she is hurting me a lot.

So now I really don't know whether she is leaving this weekend. I know practically no point still having her around me if her heart is not 100% with me, but I couldn't make myself to ask her to leave since I still love her so much.

Her parents is coming over to meet me this Friday, since she told them she still undecided. So the parents want to check out me so they can advise their daughter what to do.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by thoseeyes

Thanks all for the advice and concern,

I really appreciate all of you advising me on the cruel n harsh but realistic perspective.

After 2 days of still seeing each other round the clock and sleeping together, after I try to pursue my case in many ways, now I managed to make her think again on her decision. She still showing her love to me, we still act like a couple, still kiss and hug each other, simply because she still don't know whether leaving me is a good choice. She still says that leaving me is difficult and she knows that she is hurting me a lot.

So now I really don't know whether she is leaving this weekend. I know practically no point still having her around me if her heart is not 100% with me, but I couldn't make myself to ask her to leave since I still love her so much.

Her parents is coming over to meet me this Friday, since she told them she still undecided. So the parents want to check out me so they can advise their daughter what to do.

---

Wait... you are still seeing each other and sleeping together even though she said she is going to be with someone else?? Please start protecting your heart better. You deserve a woman who won't put you through that hell. I would suggest going No Contact right away.

Are you in North America?? Where are you exactly, and what culture do you belong to?

Hi Everybody,

Its been 2 months that my issue with my girlfriend persists. We were still together till last 2 weeks she said needed time alone to think. Supposed she should go to stay with the sister but ended up move back with the ex. Then after 2 days of thorough thinking, she decided to leave the ex and moved back to her sister house.

Then on Sunday last week, she came back to me and swore she knew I'm the one she love and decided to stick back with me. I was so happy because I could see her commitment on making our relationship continues without the interruption of the ex. The ex still calls, emails and msn her everyday.

Yesterday early morning she suddenly left to go back with the ex to his hometown. I was around and she only told me she needed to go because she cannot forget him. But she said she still love me deeply.

Since she gone, we still messaging each other and she said she misses me a lot and still love me.

I really don't understand what is she trying to do and what does she wants. During the time of making the decision of choosing either me or the ex, she asked so many opinions, and even Chinese fortune teller. All sources indicated that I will be the better choice for him, the only thing Im lacking is not as rich as the ex. So at first, after ensuring herself she chose me, she was so determined to forget the ex.

I am so hurt now, I'm even going through a state of depression in which I lost sleep, appetite and having stomach discomfort and fever.

I know I should forget her since she cannot totally love me. But this is so hard. I couldn't even concentrate on my work because I've lost my inspiration.

Oh my god, dude what is wrong with you. You seem to think so little of yourself that you would put up with this crap, don't you know that you deserve better then this (sorry to say) this hurt full minipulative superficial sadisdic she devil. And that is me sugar coating it for you. And yes you should let her go but you seem to be a sucker for punishment. So many people have given you advice and you have just basically ignored it. You obviously like the way she treats you because you ave not taken anyone's advice. So I am a little irritated that you have made no changes.

Quote:

---

Since she gone, we still messaging each other and she said she misses me a lot and still love me.

---

That's your problem, your still in contact, and letting her fill you with false hope, to keep you where she wants you, miserable without her. Your letting her do this, and your solution, and best course of action is to save your dignity and self respect, and disappear from her life. That's not easy to do, but has to be better than what your doing now.

She is telling you she loves you because you wants you there as backup. It's either that or she really can't make up her mind what this wants. Above all, you need to leave her. It will be difficult, but its for the best in the long run. You are only prolonging the pain by letting her sleep with you and see you still. She still contacts her ex a lot, she is not over him. But do you know why she keeps coming back to you? Just have it in your mind that maybe when her ex rejects her, she comes running back to you. Then when he decides he wants her again, she comes back to you. It just a thought.
No matter what, you must forget her. She is stringing you along and you need to respect and love yourself. Do this for the sake of you. You deserve someone who is definitely secure in wanting you and you only, who will give back to you the same love you give back to them. If this girl is so sure that she loves you so much, she would stick with you because she is sure. But she's not, and if you're not sure if you're in love, then you're not in love.

Then when he decides he wants her again, she goes back to him** is what I meant in my last post. Lack of sleep lol.

I was in almost the same situation 5 years ago, it really messed me up (not sure why seeings how we only dated 1 year), it was hard, after the second time of dealing with "the ex", I told her to make up her mind or I'm out. She spent the weekend with him and we never heard from one another again. I think about her every single day, but I'm also glad I was strong enough to cut the contact cold turkey. I'm still quite perplexed by that whole relationship, I've thought about contacting her to ask her about it but realistically I don't think it'll clear anything up. She was married to this guy 2 months after her and I slept together and she confided in that her response to his marriage proposal was a very hesitant "...okkk..."

Anyhow, just really didn't understand the whole ordeal - I hope thoseeyes has been able to move on and learn from this experience. I appreciate all the feedback I read here, knowing what I know now, I'd say you're all right on!