:confused: A really close friend of mine has been having an issue with relationships for a while and I have come to the point where I don't have any more valid points to say to her and I honestly want to help. My friend was engaged at 18 and broke up with her fiancé at 19 because she was working 4 jobs trying to support both of them because he didn't have his life together. At the time she broke up with him she had hope that once he figured out his life and got back on track they could pick up where they left off. He has now gotten his life together and they talk constantly. He lives in Kansas City and she lives here in Pittsburgh. He is coming to visit her next week where they will spend several intimate days together he will leave and they will remain close but not together. Part of the reason they are unable to pick up where they left off (although they already act like they are in a committed relationship) is because she is a ballet dancer and he doesn't support her job decisions. She understands that he is unlikely to ever change his mind about her career choice but is still unable to let him go-which hinders any other relationship she has with men because she is always comparing them to him which inevitably ruins every good relationship she has.. . I am at a lost for what to say to her-any help would be greatly appreciated!

Well... I think your title of the question has the answer in and of itself...

How do you get over an ex-fiance... that is still involved in your life?

... that's easy. Cut out the involvement. Now, doing that is the hard part. I'm sure your friend knows this... but is reluctant to act upon this. If she WANTS to get over him, then I'm sure she'll come up with ways... it's that "break up but remain friends" deal. She just has to realize one day...

Until she makes up her mind, what she wants, and doesn't want, she will always be holding on to this ex, and flounder all over the place. Unless she is willing to leave this fellow alone, he will always haunt her. She needs to make a decision for herself, and it may be time to stop trying to help her make it. Back off her love life.