This morning, out of the blue, my girlfriend broke up with me. Granted we had a lot of fights and in the long run this might be the best alternative, but right now... god it sucks. I've been through this before, and call me stupid, but it's the same girl. First was after about 3 years, now again after an additional year. I told myself I wouldn't get as attached, I wouldn't let myself give in because I was afraid of this happening again. I think I'm better off, but I'm certainly not okay.

I wanted to write this to the others out there that feel the same as me. I want you to know that you aren't alone in this. I too am sitting here, crying for the first time today. My hands are shaking and there is an all-too physical pain in my gut. It is taking every ounce of strength I have not to pick up the phone to call and cry "why? why? why?".

Trust me, you aren't alone and I know how you feel. Just as most everyone else here has felt what you are going through.

Maybe I'm just looking for words of encouragement. Why is it that everything we argued about before seems so insignificant now? Why do I feel that I would give up everything I fought for to have her back, even though I know in a month I'd be unhappy again.

Why?

After re-reading this, I thought I'd put a few details of what happened. What I wrote isn't entirely accurate. It was I that broke up with her, not her breaking up with me.

The problem is that she has been upset with herself beucase she feels she can't function without me. When I come home from college for the weekend, she can't stand the fact that I may not be with her all weekend. She told me that she didn't know what to do because she felt terrible always fighting with me and making me miserable. She mentioned a break, sounded to me like a way for her to ease out of the relationship. I said I didn't like the idea, and left it at "Call me if you need to, I'll do the same."

On one hand, I commend her for realizing her faults and wanting to change, but she mentioned a break for a week or two and I wasn't convinced that's enough time to change what she doesn't like about herself.

I guess were in a sort of limbo...