My older broter is 27 and he has never lived on his own, he is currently living with me and my boyfriend, when he moved in he said it would only be for 3 months until he found a place of his own... it's been over a year! For the most part I don't have a problem with him but it's hard to have a relationship with a third person he's not a very clean guy I just don't know how to approach him about this or what to say. We have asked him to look for a place. He just luaghs in our faces.

Whose name is on the lease or deed? Give him a date he has to vacate and stick to it. If he isn't making any effort to relocate then perhaps it's time to change the locks and toss his stuff to the curb. At 27, he shouldn't be mooching off his younger sister!

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Originally Posted by flossie

Whose name is on the lease or deed? Give him a date he has to vacate and stick to it. If he isn't making any effort to relocate then perhaps it's time to change the locks and toss his stuff to the curb. At 27, he shouldn't be mooching off his younger sister!

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We own the house, (me and myboyfriend) he also has lived with everyother one of my brothers/sisters the last one he lived with did change the locks and kick him out that's when he started living with us. He had nowhere to go, I don't want to do that but it's almost to that point... I just need/want a different way?

He's got to grow up some time. It's not fair that he's interfering in your life and the relationship you have with your partner. You should be building a life as a couple. I am sure your big brother has someone else he can mooch off. Why should he relocate if he's got it so good where he is??

Tell him he's being evicted. Then start the paperwork. He may be mad, but he will get over it when he does grow up. If he doesn't grow up, you need to have some distance from him because it will never end, so let him be mad.

Then, don't do more than your half of the relationship. If you go for coffee, he buys his own. If you invite him for dinner, don't invite him again until he's treated you to dinner. He needs to be trained that he has to do his half or the other half doesn't happen. No holiday gifts? Stop giving them to him and if he wonders about it just say, "Oh, you had nothing for us last year so we assumed you decided to discontinue the exchange".

Don't argue with him, don't discuss. Just say, "you've overstayed your welcome, we want you out and you are being evicted. You have until June 15th. Please don't make it a pain in the A... and just leave on your own. I'm your sister, not your parent - I need some space."

He has never grown up because no one has ever forced him to. Who was he living with before he moved in with you ?

Time to kick him to the curb