Ask Me Help Desk - How do you create a successful, long term relationship?

I just wanted to get some advice from people in happy, long-term relationships. If you could answer some or all of the q's below, that would be fantastic.

1. What makes for a successful relationship?

2. Has your relationship helped you grow as a person? How?

3. What happens when you enter into a conflict? How does it get resolved?

4. Any other advice for someone who wants to make a relationship work.

I don't really know that many people who are truly happy in their relationship so any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Hi I am truly happy in my relationship. It is proabably not as long as some other people's on the board but here are my two pennies anyway:

1. What makes for a successful relationship?

Trust, understanding, communication, compromise, love and sexual attraction between the two people.

2. Has your relationship helped you grow as a person? How?

I think I have become more tolerant and more adventurous. I am definitely happier

3. What happens when you enter into a conflict? How does it get resolved?

We rarely have conflicts but when we do we are both the huffy type! They are resolved with talking and listening and sometimes just a bit of time.

4. Any other advice for someone who wants to make a relationship work.

You cannot love another until you love yourself.

Hope that helps :)

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Originally Posted by Jaime208

I just wanted to get some advice from people in happy, long-term relationships. If you could answer some or all of the q's below, that would be fantastic.

1. What makes for a successful relationship?

2. Has your relationship helped you grow as a person? How?

3. What happens when you enter into a conflict? How does it get resolved?

4. Any other advice for someone who wants to make a relationship work.

I don't really know that many people who are truly happy in their relationship so any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

A successful relationsihp is one that lasts in which each partner is happy with the results of that relastionship.

As a person you actually give up part of yourself and the relastionship is to grow.

In conflict each side talks and works it out. The main issue is that both sides agree not to give up and walk out.

You make it forever,

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Originally Posted by Jaime208

I just wanted to get some advice from people in happy, long-term relationships.

Thanks be to God, I've been married 23 years, to one wife, and have four children.

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If you could answer some or all of the q's below, that would be fantastic.

I'll do my best.

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1. What makes for a successful relationship?

Recognizing that marriage is a Covenantal relationship with God. Recognizing one's vocation as husband and wife and therefore the Priests of your domestic Church. Recognizing one's responsibility for the salvation of your spouse and of your children.

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2. Has your relationship helped you grow as a person? How?

It has moved me from a self centered person only interested in my own happiness to recognizing that I must sacrifice for the good of the ones I love.

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3. What happens when you enter into a conflict? How does it get resolved?

One must recognize that not all conflict is resolvable. But one must be able by an act of will to put aside differences, agree to disagree and not let the sun go down with your anger.

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4. Any other advice for someone who wants to make a relationship work.

Recognize that marriage is not about you alone. It is about a loving relationship with your spouse and with God. It is about obedience to God's ordinances and about sacrifice.

Essentially, holy matrimony is a living icon of our relationship with God.

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I don't really know that many people who are truly happy in their relationship so any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Marriage is not about continual happiness. Certainly, happiness can be achieved. But usually only after obstacles are cleared and problems resolved. Matrimony is about struggle and sacrifice for the sake of those you love. That is how you become happy, by struggling manfully for those that you love.

In my opinion,

People who are not truly happy in their matrimony are those who think they married in order to be satisfied sexually or monetarily.

People who are not truly happy in their marriage are those who do not recognize that they must put their spouse's and their children's happiness before their own.

People who are not truly happy in their marriage do not realize that happiness and love are acts of will.

People who are not happy in their relationship do not understand sacrifice for the sake of those they love.

People who are not happy in their matrimony do not recognize their responsibilities before God.

Sincerely,

De Maria

Thanks for responding to my questions. I was moved by all of your responses.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaime208

I just wanted to get some advice from people in happy, long-term relationships. If you could answer some or all of the q's below, that would be fantastic.

1. What makes for a successful relationship?

2. Has your relationship helped you grow as a person? How?

3. What happens when you enter into a conflict? How does it get resolved?

4. Any other advice for someone who wants to make a relationship work.

I don't really know that many people who are truly happy in their relationship so any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

SIMPLE.we fall in love because we want.but love last forever when you do what your loved one like.GIV GIV AND GIV.

1. What makes for a successful relationship?
Two partners being able to communicate and willing to work together to solve their issues, to the benefit of both.
2. Has your relationship helped you grow as a person? How?
I think we both have grown over the years, and helped each other to be better, more patient, more understanding and more loved and appreciated.
3. What happens when you enter into a conflict? How does it get resolved?
Sometimes you vent, sometimes you talk, sometimes you listen, all the time you understand each others feelings, and are ready to love and support, even when your really angry.
4. Any other advice for someone who wants to make a relationship work.
Communicate and work together and be willing to compromise and give all the love and support you have. In healthy relationships you will get it back in spades.
I don't really know that many people who are truly happy in their relationship so any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
Always leave room, for honest expression of your partners feelings. Never take those feelings for granted and be a good listener. Its worked for me for over 30 years. Looking for 30 more.

There is no one simple answer to your questions.

Sometime love pops in in the oddest places. The trick is to nurture love and respect between the two people.

However, I would caution you that being in a long relationship is not at all the same as being in a "Married" long relationship.

I pretty sure the some will argue that point, but a long time relationship does not need love. A LTR could be with your best friend or even someone you choose to live with and share your life with.

Married is much more. Married means the you have given your "Vow" of fidelity to your spouse. It means that the two of you have stood in front of a Justice of the Peace, or a Priest, Minister or Rabbi and congregation and pledged yourselves to be one with the other, till death do us part.

There is no easy way out of marriage. Living together means you can pick up and leave at just about any time you want. You can also choose to stay.

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Originally Posted by Jaime208

1. What makes for a successful relationship?

Compromise.

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2. Has your relationship helped you grow as a person? How?

Don't worry about "growing as a person". It's going to be a by-product. Just learn to compromise.

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3. What happens when you enter into a conflict? How does it get resolved?

By compromising.

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4. Any other advice for someone who wants to make a relationship work.

Learn to compromise. Consider your partner's feelings and desires and do your best to accommodate them. If this is a loving relationship then your partner will do the same.

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I don't really know that many people who are truly happy in their relationship so any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Compromise. :)