Ask Me Help Desk - Loveless marriage

I am very attractive and have been married for almost 5 yrs. And my husband pulls away
From me when I go to Makeout with him. And initiate sex. I want to be desired and have
Some excitement in my marriage. And I just can't get it from him I have talked with him about this and he says he just doesn't like kissing anymore ( you as if I believe that one)
No one changes from kissing all the time while dating and now he all of the sudden doesn't like it anymore. What should I do, I can't take it anymore

You tried marital counseling? If it isn't successful or if he will not participate, then, in my view, it is time to separate and see what develops.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wallstreet2004

I am very attractive and have been married for almost 5 yrs. and my husband pulls away
from me when I go to Makeout with him. and initiate sex. I want to be desired and have
some excitement in my marriage. and I just can't get it from him I have talked with him about this and he says he just doesn't like kissing anymore ( ya as if I believe that one)
no one changes from kissing all the time while dating and now he all of the sudden doesn't like it anymore. what should I do ,, I can't take it anymore

Were you married in Church? If so...

Like it or not, marriage isn't about sex on demand. It is about love, faithfulness, sacrifice and perseverance through thick and thin. If you are a Christian, it is about your vow to God to love in times of illness and health, evil and good.

Although consensual sex is very important to marriage it is not equivalent to marriage. However, it is a beautiful way to repeat your marriage vows before God and through God who made you to be two in one flesh.

Therefore, it is a good idea to see if you can heal your sexual relationship within your marriage. But healing your sexual relationship is not the same thing as getting your way at the expense of your spouse.

Having said that, does your husband ever tell you that he loves you? Does he act affectionately in other ways? If so and since you acknowledge that you are an attractive woman, have you considered other aspects of your presentation.

For instance. Have you checked your breath? I know that I went through a period in my life when my breath was stagnant. And I didn't know it. My wife finally got the nerve to tell me. Knowing that you have a problem is half the battle. I got that problem fixed. It turns out I was drinking too many sweet drinks and sodas and eating too many sweets.
I cut them out of my diet and my breath was healed.

How about your body odor? Just as there are many things which can turn off a woman, there are many things which can turn off a man. No matter how much they love you.

Perhaps you could ask him if your breath is OK. Or if there is any other problem. Maybe there are other means of getting him excited. Perhaps certain foods or drinks get him in the mood.

In the end however, marriage is about love and faithfulness. Not about having sex on demand.

May God bless you and heal your marriage to become the one flesh union which He meant for it to be.

Sincerely,

De Maria

Wall street,

Apart from the "Not kissing anymore", have you noticed any other personal habits of his that have changed. For example is very fastidious or does he now constantly wash his hands. Is he shutting down from everyone or just you.

What do you perceive his behavior is telling you? What is going on is his world in terms of the work world and outside the house relationships.

Have you asked him what he is looking for from his wife and lover (you being the same person)?

Do you have children?

De Maria I don't think she is talking about sex on demand, she is wondering why all of a sudden her husband is not wanting to have sex with her. That is a perfectly logical thing to worry about. They are young, the marriage is still in it's early stages.
I too am a Christian, and I don't believe there is anything wrong with having a problem with your husband withholding sex. That is wrong. If he is ill, that's understandable, if there is another reason, she has every right to know.
They should seriously discuss this.
I wish you well
wallstreet2004 You and your husband need to talk about this. Find out if there is anything wrong with you hygiene wise that is causing this, if he is having health problems, if he is attracted to someone else. Sex is not everything in a marriage, but it is important and if one party is withholding sex, he or she owes the other an explanation so you two can work on it or at least understand what's going on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

De Maria "...she is wondering why all of a sudden her husband is not wanting to have sex with her. That is a perfectly logical thing to worry about. They are young, the marriage is still in it's early stages.
I too am a Christian, and I don't believe there is anything wrong with having a problem with your husband withholding sex. That is wrong. If he is ill, that's understandable, if there is another reason, she has every right to know.
They should seriously discuss this.
I wish you well
wallstreet2004 You and your husband need to talk about this. Find out if there is anything wrong with you hygiene wise that is causing this, if he is having health problems, if he is attracted to someone else. Sex is not everything in a marriage, but it is important and if one party is with holding sex, he or she owes the other an explanation so you two can work on it or at least understand what's going on.

Young, married, and no sex? Might as well be in a same-sex marriage, or no marriage at all, or in a convent. I give the OP the benefit of the doubt, as she most likely knows whether her husband is sick or whatever. Some say money makes the world go round, others say sex; I agree with the latter. As stated before, I would tell him either let's talk turkey, go to counseling, or separate, PDQ.