Ask Me Help Desk - Flashbacks of a Rape

K I'm 15 right now and like 2 years ago I was raped at a party and I was on a quite a few things that night so I didn't even really remember how it happened or anything but like 2 weeks ago my boyfriend Trevor came over to my house while my parents weren't home and we went as far as him about to go down on my with his mouth but when he took my pants off we figured out that my period came so we didn't got that far then his brother came and picked him up and after that I had visions about the rape and they kept coming to me and my sleep and through daydreams but then a week after that incident he dropped me off after we took our detention together and he stayed like 15 minutes at my house and we made out etc but the farthest he went was having his hand down my pant and after that my visions have been cominalottronger and I don't know what to do about them at all I can't go to my dad or a friends house in another town to try and get away from them because they'll still come so I really have no clue what to do anymore about them

I am so sorry for your pain. What you need is to talk to your mom and dad and get professional counseling. You are very likely to have a lot of problems getting past this.

Counseling sounds like a pain in the arse.

it isnt.

I tend to tough things out. Work through them myself. But I did go to a therapist once a few years back... I hated making the appointment, hated being in the waiting room, hated the awkwardness of it all, and liked the feeling i had walking out.

it can make a difference, and anyone who has been through sexual trauma... you owe it to yourself to work through it as soon as you can.

Don't let this follow you around for years. talking to a counselor can really, really make a difference.

i promise this... and i dont promise things i dont believe in.

You might be able to work through this without it. But it isnt wrong or bad to seek help when you need it. often, its a sign of strength... to recognize you need some help and be willing to search it out. Too many people don't do this and pay the price.

Look in the Yellow Pages. There maybe a 1-800 number you can call--you can look under rape hotline, sexual abuse hotline or even someplace for battered women. These places can give you some guidance as to where to go to get help in your area. I am guessing that you are feeling some guilt because you were using the night of the rape. I am guessing you are embarrassed and ashamed to tell your parents. First of all, no matter what alcohol or drugs you were using the rapist was in the wrong. In fact, in Michigan it is illegal to even have consenual sex with someone who is intoxicated. As far as your parents go; you may not be ready to go to them with this but you do need to go to some adult who can help you get through it. You will never forget, you were unable to fight back that night but DO NOT give him the power to invade your dreams.

I agree with Fr_Chuck and kp2171... please seek counseling. If you don't deal with this, it won't go away on it's own and many people have become very self destructive in their ways of trying to "cope."

I think shellyjo68 misread you, kp... I'd have given you a greenie to balance it out... but I got to share some more love first...

Quote:

shellyjo68 disagrees: He made light of counseling for a 15 yr old rape victim. Idiot

i brought up the issue of counseling in a manner that wasn't intrusive. It intimidates some. I tried to present it as an option that's worth pursuing, despite the initial impressions.

and as the husband of a woman who was sexually assaulted, as was her brother, i know the value of therapy.

please show some restraint.